


Can't Be Good At It & A Good Man

by EarlyRecoil



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Asshole Wade, Drug Use, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Get Your Flashlight, Love, Mexico, POV First Person, Serum, Sister Margarets School For Wayward Girls, Torture, Understanding, Unrequited, badassery, before mutation, confused ofc, confused wade, dark themes, its getting dark, marvel characters, mutated oc, nice wade, on the job
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:33:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 58,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7185359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarlyRecoil/pseuds/EarlyRecoil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>**SUMMARY UPDATED**</p><p>Everything starts with a desperate plea of a young girl. When the system doesn't grant her family justice for her father's murder, she writes a letter to Sister Margaret. But some years pass and she forgets all about the letter, until a mercenary finds her in Mexico. From that night, her life starts shifting and she finds herself struggling with wanting more answers. </p><p>“What are you thinking?” He asked, and I felt the warmth of his callused hand as it slipped gently into mine.<br/>“How alone I feel all the time.” It came out so tired and pathetic, but I didn't even bother to wince or care.<br/>“I can't imagine...” He started, but I squeezed his hand.<br/>“Then don't.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story here. I hadn't planned on ever writing fanfiction again, but here we are. There will most likely be mistakes along the way so please forgive me. This was a written on a whim after work. I hope some of you enjoy it, and like a different look at our favorite merc. xoxo

  


  


  


I was just sitting at a table, outside of this little dive bar in Ensenada, Mexico. The ocean had been good to me today, all my muscles were pleasantly sore. I had my dive gear in my Chevelle that was more junker than classic. But as the to go box of Mexican food wafted into my nose, I sighed happily. The wind was gentle tonight considering I was less than a mile in from the coast. Ensenada had been my home for the past year and a half. It had been hard at first, learning the language but usually English got me by just fine.

  


My thin white dress-like bathing suit cover was now dry as it fluttered against my teal and navy blue one piece. It was new, something I decided to splurge on. It was cut to expose my sides and back, but appropriately covered all my bits. Hey, I'm a growing woman not a street walker. My feet rested comfortably in my worn in nude colored gladiator sandals that wrapped their way up my calves. I sipped from my very alcoholic margarita as I munched on my shrimp fajitas and rice. I was taking my time and enjoying the sounds of the city around me. Chatting people, cars, the distant smell of the salt water and the strong drink I was sipping.

  


As I was about to wipe my mouth, I seen him. Plain, black non-descriptive board shorts and a white tee shirt. He still had on the black aviators and sandals. A chill ran down my spine. I'd seen him periodically through out the day. Always alone, easily blending in and disappearing. Shit! I forced myself to finish wiping my mouth, trying not to watch him as he ordered food and watched me. I could feel his eyes studying me. I wanted to puke. Anger flared in me, so did sadness. I'd made myself a little home here. I had a job at a convenience store, a tiny apartment a few blocks down and I was making acquaintances. I took a casual drink from my margarita and forced another bite of shrimp into my mouth.

  


Okay T, think here! I mentally collected myself. I looked around, seeing too many people to cause a scene. I carefully dug into my beat up denim back pack, quietly sifting around until I felt the still sun warmed metal of my .9 mm. My heart lurched in my throat as I tried to remain calm. I'd been taught well with firearms, but even I was hesitant to open fire in such a public place. People would run and drop down if I brandished...

  


“I wouldn't do that, Princess.”

  


I jumped as I looked up and seen said impending danger looking down at me with a coy grin on his face. I froze and he cocked an eyebrow, before he set his box of food down with a cold beer. I was frozen and my heart was hammering in my chest as he sat down and flipped the box open. As if we were old friends and we did this all the time, he picked up a taco and took a huge bite.

  


“Holy fucking rainbow tits, this is delicious.” He mumbled around his food before taking a sip of his beer. I can only imagine my face right now, wide eyes and lips tightly drawn with my anxiety. The man cleared his throat and held up a finger, telling me to hold on a second while he pushed up his sunglasses and pulled a folded manila folder from his waist band in the back of his shorts. He shook it gently like a prize and placed it before me. I felt my fingers twitch and realized my right hand was still on my gun. I could feel sweat beading on the back of my neck. My large green eyes were darting between it and him. I was speechless.

  


“Well are you going to stare at it or are you going to open it?” He asked, starting to sound impatient. I blinked and felt my forehead crease. I licked my lips and looked around again, still not wanting to let my gun go. The man grabbed his taco again to finish it before speaking again. “I'm not here to hurt you, kid. If I wanted you dead, you would be buried in the dunes somewhere already.” He then paused and nodded towards my bag. “But if you try to shoot me, it won't be very good for you.” And with that, he flashed me a smile and went back to eating. My stomach dropped but slowly I brought my empty hand out and reached for the folder.

  


I ignored the almost inappropriate noises he was making as he ate, then slowly picked up the folder and opened it. There was pages of notes and scribbles. I flipped through them and then gasped as I seen a picture of a face I had been working very hard to forget.

  


Alekzander Dominov. It was his mugshot from when he was incarcerated on suspicion of my father's murder. He looked so calm and certain. Black eyes, slicked back bleached hair and a very distinctive scar running through the left side of his upper life where a cleft lip had been corrected when he'd been a child. I fought to control my breathing, blinking rapidly. I turned the page and seen summaries of his statements in court and what was said. He'd been let off, evidence had suddenly popped up which conviently ruled him out of my father's murder.

  


They had ruled it down to being, wrong place at the wrong time. Funny thing was, that wrong place had been our suburban home outside of Houston. Wrong time had been three days after he'd returned from Afghanistan from his last tour. My hands were shaking as all the memories hit me hard. I kept flipping through the paperwork and got to the last page. On a blank sheet of notebook paper, outlined in stars and rainbows, was a letter written in terrible cursive by someone who'd just learned it. My eyes watered as I read it, feeling oddly hollow.

  


_Dear Sister Margaret,_

_Somebody told me that you help people. Like, people who need the kind of help police and court can't get. Well, I need help. My Daddy was murdered and his killer was set free. My Mommy cries herself to sleep every night and we are witnesses in protection. We've moved three times now, and I can't smile anymore. I miss my Daddy, he was my hero and a soldier. He used to sing to me in the car and tuck me in at bedtime, telling me stories of where he'd been. I was his favorite little T-bone, he'd say. Now all I do is take care of my Mommy when she cries. I tuck her in and tell her we will be okay. I think it might me a lie, but I don't know. I don't have any money really, but I do have my Daddy's favorite baseball card he said he was saving to give to me when I was old enough. Hopefully that will do. All I ask is that you make this monster pay. Our family is gone, and I can't take seeing my mother so sad all the time._

 

_Yours Truly,_

_Tia Jane Crown_

  


I shut my eyes and closed the file, feeling the beginnings of an anxiety attack coming on. I tried to focus on my breathing as I covered my face and felt my hot tears tingling on my alcohol warm cheeks. Images pushed through my barriers that multiple therapists and counselors had taught me to put up. A warm spring day, my dad humming as he manned the grill and winked at my mother as she blushed and rolled her eyes from the kitchen counter. The buzzing in my ears as the glass door to the patio burst, red splatters making the sunlight reflect strangely through it. My mother screaming, a man with an assault rifle aiming at us. The warmth of my father's body as he used himself as a shield between me and that monster...

  


“Shit.” I ground out. I was trying to inhale and push it all back. The night I wrote that letter came back, too. We'd been in our forth safe house, Mom had become dependent on her downers. I'd known she was trying hard to hide it, but I couldn't help but notice all the empty pill bottles she tried to hide throughout the small house. Our Marshall's had tried to step in and help, but they eventually gave up on her and just focused on me. Marcus Hame and Elliot Grounds. They'd taken care of me, teaching me to cook and how to shoot. And when my Mom had OD'd, they had calmly taken me out of the house and to the nearest Dairy Queen. Chicken basket with extra gravy and an Oreo blizzard.

  


“Hey...” I heard the man across from me say. I was brought back to the present, not realizing he'd left his food alone and sat down next to me. My backpack was slung over his shoulder as he wrapped a too warm arm around me and pulled gently. “C'mon, Princess.” He mumbled as I wanted to object but he nodded to the attention I'd drawn. I felt my face drain of what color it had left and let him help me to my feet. He escorted me to my car and opened the passenger side door for me. I lifelessly fell in and paid no mind to him climb in the drivers seat and start the engine up. Again, I just curled into myself and cried.

  


  


  


My eyes felt glued together as I woke up, smelling the familiar must of my small apartment. I didn't move after I managed to open them and look around. A heavy weight in my chest kept me in place as I remembered why I felt so terrible. It was still dark outside, I spotted the clock above my TV. It was almost 4 am. A shudder rippled through me as I spotted my sliding glass door open, it lead out to a very very small patio over looking the downtown area. There, leaned up against the frame was the figure of the man who'd just turned my world upside down. I knew too much and not enough. My head throbbed and I groaned as I forced myself to set up. He heard and turned around, I watched him caustiously as he took a few steps towards my sink and filled up a glass with water.

  


With ghostly quiet steps he walked over and sat next to, carefully handing it to me. I gave a small nod and took a large drink. My stomach kept churning and I groaned again.

  


“Careful there, you might throw that up.” He said in a softer and more calm voice than he had used when he'd first approached me. I set it down on my linoleum floor, wrapping my arms around me. I took note that I was still dressed in what I'd had on earlier. I swallowed down the acid n my throat and rubbed my eyes, ignoring the fresh tears developing there.

  


“Who are you?” It came out rough and strained. He shrugged, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a golden card. He handed it to me and I rubbed my thumbs over it.

  


**Sister Margaret's School of Wayward Girls**

_W. W. W._

_Tia Jane Crown_

Charity

  


I should be more surprised, but I wasn't. I just continued to rub the small golden card before I handed it back to him. He put it back into his wallet and leaned back against my thread bare floral couch.

  


“I work for Sister Margret's.” He said, reaching out his hand and giving me one of those boyish grins most girls my age would swoon over. The city lights here in the dark highlighted him in a soft orange glow that brought out the chocolate brown in his eyes and made the unruly short brown hair on his head stand out. I was just realizing how handsome he was. But right now I didn't care about how he looked. There was a coil wrapped too tightly around my heart and stomach, I just wanted to fade away. He took the initiative and gently wrapped his hand around mine. It was firm, but he didn't shake it. He just squeezed it and lingered for a moment before withdrawing and adjusting to better face me. His face was in shadow.

  


“I'm Wade, your letter arrived a few years ago. With cases like yours, unless they come with cash, they are put in one of those bingo machines and are given out occasionally as 'charity' work. I drew yours.” He shrugged and then scratched the back of his head as if he wanted to say more, but decided against it. I wanted to be offended at the term 'charity' but held my tongue.

  


“Oh.” I looked down at my hands as I fidgeted. The silence grew for a moment before he cracked his neck and began to talk some more.

  


“He's dead, Princess.” It was as if he was talking about the weather. My head snapped up and I searched his face. Well, I couldn't see much of it but I seen nothing but ease. My mouth gaped open and he continued on, pulling the manila folder back out and small notebook, black and bound shut with string. He opened the manila one I'd already skimmed through and pulled out a torn off piece of a map. It was Russia, with red pen circles and lines drawn all over it. And then a large red X over Moscow. He tapped it before placing it on the cushion between us.

  


“Took me a year and a half to track him down between other jobs. Alek liked the vodski and expensive prostitutes. He was good about staying off the radar until he got thrown out of a gentleman's club one night. He'd beat up the wrong guy and someone put out a local on him, it was just a matter of time before I found him after that.” Wade paused and began opening up the black one, quickly unbinding it and flipping through pages. “This was the ledgar I kept on that sleazy fucker.” He made a face and handed it to me, I began thumbing through Wade's rough manuscript. It was a day to day itinerary. A few weeks worth. My head felt light as I sank back into the couch.

  


“You profiled him before you killed him?” I mumbled, seeing sketches of buildings and traveling routes. I'd seen similar plans drawn out before. Marcus and Elliot had taught me how to plan like this when they had discovered my plans to run away when Child Protective Services were planning to take me away and put me in the system. They hadn't wanted me to be exposed to the horrors that could arise from that. They'd become the closest things I'd ever had to older brother's or uncles. Elliot had even tried to convince his superiors to let him adopt me. We'd both cried when he'd been denied. My fingers were tracing the sketches before flipping the page and seeing the rough sketch of a night club. I had zoned out and Wade cleared his throat, before handing me more papers and an envelope.

  


“I cornered him here, at the Noch' Steklo. That's Russian for Night Glass. A lot of thugs and war lords party there.” He unfolded a paper that had security camera images printed on it. All black and white and fuzzy, but Alek's face stood out distinctly. “He always kept a bunch of short dick goons with watermelon size pecs close by. All meat, no brains.” Wade said, I could hear the slight amusement in his voice. “Blondie boy got too comfortable, and he went to take a piss...” The older man trailed off and shook the envelope, before taking a moment to hold my eyes with his.

  


“I tranquilized him and had him out the fire escape before anyone knew he was gone, Tia. I had a car waiting and threw him inside.” He paused and and took a deep breath, handing me the envelope. It was thick with something and I went to open it, before his hand came down on mine. I looked up at him and he tightened his jaw. “You're a good kid, I can tell. The loner type with eyes on the back of her head, and fucking smart. Took me another year and some change to track you down. I know how much you wanted justice for your family, but...” He squeezed my hands with his larger one and licked his lips. “Once you look inside and see what those pictures are of, there's no going back. His death was by your wish, granted the prick had it coming.” He let out a quick breath before hurriedly continuing to speak.

  


“What I'm trying to say, Princess, is that you might not get what you want. Sometimes it only leaves people feeling more empty.” My eyes had adjusted and I could see the serious set of his brows and how dark his eyes looked, his lips pursed slightly. If I'm being honest with myself, I hadn't had much hope that the Sister Margret's letter had gotten to someone. I figured it had just dissipated into oblivion with my hopes and dreams. A few days after the letter was sent out, was when my Mom died and I started preparing for life on the run on my own. But Wade was waiting for me to say something and I nodded.

  


“I get it, but I need to see...” I strained out, feeling a relief wash over me as he removed his hand and sat back. I could feel his eyes burning holes through me. With shaky hands, I opened the envelope and pulled out a thick stack of Polaroids. The first was of Alek tied to a concrete wall, hands above his head, slack. He was obviously still unconscious. Then the second was of him awake, mouth taped shut and some swelling around his face. The third, his shirt was removed and his eyes watering. There were cuts all over him. My eyes ate up every detail, the shaking in my hands started to subside.

  


“How did you do it? In stages?” I whispered, tilting my head to the side as took in every progressing wound and detail as the pictures turned. Wade was quiet, still watching me attentively. Finally he spoke.

  


“Yeah, I kept him going for a while.”

  


“What's a while?”

  


“Two days, on and off.” His body was taught as he gauged me, and I nodded. I continued flipping through pictures and stopped when I seen Wade had started taking fingers and toes. I exhaled and nodded, casting a side glance to him.

  


“What did you say to him?” My voice was getting more sure and the sick feelings I'd had were ebbing away, my mind was clearing up. He referenced back to the black notebook.

  


“I wrote it all down, my questions and my answers.” He motioned to the pages and started reading. “Asked him if he'd been hired, he said yes. Asked if he had had a personal vendetta, he'd said sort of. I asked him what kind of vendetta and he told me a little story about working overseas with your father. Allied efforts and all that shit. Sounded like your old man put him in his place and got him in trouble. Then I asked him who'd hired him and he went mum. Was quiet all the way up until I started the really good stuff.” Wade grabbed the pictures and flipped ahead of me, to one of him missing teeth and an ear. Alek's face was covered in blood. My jaw muscles flexed. More silence grew between us.

  


“And?” I prodded, the mercenary sighed.

  


“Was an inside job, Princess.” He paused and watched the gears in my head halting to a stop. Before I could say anything he went on. “Your Dad was Special Forces, that's public knowledge. But what isn't is all the black op's he pulled with his team. He was elite, kid. He seen a lot of shit that dirty politicians and assholes barking orders didn't want getting out there. He worked in that gray area that most people can only speculate about. But it's dirty and you can't have a conscience doing that kind of work.” He paused and grabbed the glass of water, taking a sip. My eyes watched his every movement and my head started to throb again.

  


“My Dad?” I asked and he nodded, wiping at the sweat on his forehead.

  


“He was good, and a good man. Those two don't sync up when you're expected to kill without question.” I blinked and felt my heart breaking all over again, but I ignored the pain and pushed on.

  


“And you'd know this how, Wade?”

  


It's easy to lie in the dark, but my eyes pinned him to his seat. I knew he could kill me as easily as it was for him to breathe. But there was a raw honesty in the air, murder usually did that. I knew Alek's death was murder, one I'd asked for at such a young age. The idea didn't bother me because he'd murdered my father. It's a vicious circle. But I was starting to get the feeling that Wade wasn't being totally honest with me. He sighed and tried to loosen up.

  


“I lied to you.” He said, before hurrying to explain himself. “When your letter came in and my buddy Weasel told me about it over a cold beer, I had recognized your name. I went home and broke out the memorabilia box from the glory days.” He took another drink of the water, emptying it and standing to get more.

 

“There's beer in the fridge.” I spoke, not surprised when he didn't hesitate to grab two before coming back to sit down. He opened both and handed me one.

  


“I had group picture from about five years prior. Your dad was in it, smiling and two guys down from me. My unit had stopped at Kandahar for some R&R before we were set to head out. For a few days our units hung out and played a lot of poker, the usual camaraderie shit.” Wade took a sip of his beer, I mirrored him. “I spoke to Jerry only a few times, he was usually busy but during chow he'd tell stories. He told one particular one about a little girl who used to say 'fuck' instead of 'truck'.” The look on his face took the air from me, as tears spilled over my cheeks. He went quiet and nudged my knee with his. “He always talked about you, kid. He loved you and your Mom more than anything.”

  


I inhaled sharply and nodded, setting my cold beer down to wipe at my sore eyes. I never cried this much. But I got myself under control and forced a small smile.

  


“Yeah, he did.” I let the emotion settle before motioning to continue.

  


“There was an order that came down and it was to stop a group who were trafficking guns and people. When they got there, it was much more than that. Black suits and ear pieces. The US was doing business with terrorist groups, using his team to cover it up. A mop up team basically. Deals went down and when the other guy thinks he's in the clear after funds are transferred, you get your guys to sneak up and take them out. Classic espionage and blacked out paragraphs.” Wade shook his head and gave a dry laugh, swigging from his beer. “Your Dad threatened to whistle and they made sure it never happened.”

  


I felt a few things all at once. Betrayal, anger and fear. The queasy feeling started settling back in and I shakily stood back up, excusing myself to the bathroom. When the door shut behind me, everything in my stomach came up. I broke out into a sweat as my body shook and curled around the toilet. I have no idea how long I stayed like this, but by the time I cleaned up and came back out, the sun was coming up and I could see Wade still sitting where he'd been. I slowly made my way back to my seat and pushed all the papers and pictures into the floor.

  


“Holy shit.” I said, leaning back and suddenly feeling very lost.

  


“Yeah.” He spoke, voice back to sounding softer around the edges. He shifted and I caught him looking at my door. He must not used to being around this long after giving the good news to his clients. I sighed and felt strange how it made me sad to know he would leave. It has been a long time since I have been able to exist in a space with someone so openly honest and raw. That probably made him uncomfortable, can't blame him. So I asked the only question I could come up with.

  


“Now what?” It sounded more pathetic than I liked, and his brown eyes were starting to catch the first rays of the sun, bringing out the honey hues hidden in them. No, honey is too soft. Amber, they were amber hues. Hard and sharp. He shrugged and finished my beer, setting it beside his empty one.

  


“You move on, Princess. Build on the life you got going. Try not to fuck up too badly, use protection, don't turn tricks.” His lips tilted at the corners with his attempt to lighten the mood. It was sincere and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  


“Thank you, Wade.” I tried for an honest smile and he nodded, gathering all the papers up and putting things back where they belonged. All except the black notebook. He left it alone as I seen he'd somehow wound up with a small black duffel. As confident as I'd seen him when he'd first approached me when I was eating last night, he seemed unsure now. Awkward even. I stood, trying to silently give him the okay to leave. I felt connected to him, he'd heard my father laugh and seen him in ways I'd never got to. Wade then stood, standing at least a foot above me. The morning had my living room lit up. It felt intimate almost, having him in my persona space. I didn't ever have anyone in my apartment, yet he knew where to bring me. My lungs squeezed, and I refused to cry anymore.

  


Quietly, I went to my door and unlocked it. I moved out of the way and wrung my white sheer cotton bathing suit cover in my hands. He cleared his throat and gave me one of those coy smiles and grabbed the door knob.

  


“Take care, Tia.” He said, assertively, as if to threaten in a subtle way. I nodded and sucked my lower lip between my teeth out of nervous habit.

  


“You too Wade.” I looked up at his face and seen a hesitation, before he dropped his hand from the door handle. He stared at the door and sighed.

  


“I'm not a hero, I'm not a good guy. I'm usually a total prick but I have to ask you two very important questions.” I was taken back slightly, but inhaled and shrugged.

  


“Okay...” I felt my stomach twist as he adjusted his duffle on his back, before turning to fully face me. His eyes bore into mine and I shifted on my feet.

  


“How old are you exactly and did you brush your teeth earlier?”

  


I felt my brows raise and I fought the urge to roll my eyes, what the hell kind of questions were those? But when Wade gave me a look of impatience, I shrugged.

  


“I'm 17 and yeah, I brushed my teeth.” Then just to be totally clear, “mouth washed, too.” I crossed my arms and gave him a look of impatience of my own. “Why?”

  


Wade sighed, shook his head and let the bag drop as he took a cautious step towards me. I swallowed and stepped back, then another and another until I was against the wall and there was only about a foot of space between us. My eyes were nervously boring into his chest, my heart pounding. Was he going to kill me now? My legs were trembling and I sucked in a harsh breath when I seen his right arm move. I closed my eyes and turned my head away, cornered and without a weapon. But after a few panicked heart beats, nothing had happened. Slowly I opened my eyes and seen how he had caged me in with his arm and his broad shoulders. The sound of seagulls squawking and the the morning rise of the city crept inside my apartment through the open balcony door.

  


“Because, I'm not a good guy and I am willing to compromise on one, but not my oral hygiene.” I'm sure I had a dumb look on my face until his head dipped down and his left hand tilted my chin up. I felt a shiver run through all my muscles as his lips pressed against mine. It was assertive and firm. I felt my knees buckle and his right arm came away from the wall to wrap around my lower back and pull me in flush against him. My heart was pounding in my ears as I instantly became hyper aware of Wade. He smelled like after shave and sweat, tasted like beer and his five o'clock shadow was rough on my face. For a few seconds he didn't move, just held his lips firmly against mine. I didn't dare move either, focusing on how warm he was and how his hand on my back felt soft as it took and handful of my dress hostage.

  


Slowly, Wade pulled away and inhaled, swiping his thumb against my lower lip. I took a deep breath and felt confused but oddly calmed. I licked my lips, seeing his eyes dart to them as he backed me against the wall once more and he dropped lower to kiss me again. His hands gripped my hips and lifted me, securing me as his lips moved against mine and he made an encouraging sound when my legs automatically wrapped around his hips. As if he hadn't touched someone in too long, his hands trailed up and under the white dress and grabbed at the skin on my sides. I gasped and Wade groaned, tilting his head so his tongue could invade my mouth. I was shaking with being over stimulated, but I gripped his taught shoulders over his tee shirt and eventually ran my hands through the back of his short cut hair.

  


The man shuddered and ran his hands up my back, over my bathing suit, and gripped my shoulders. He pulled me in tightly, seeming to try to get as close as he could to me. His mouth ripped itself from mine as he used his lips and teeth to mark his way down my throat. He was mumbling and I couldn't focus on it, because his hips jerked up and ground himself into me. I gasped again and he bit my shoulder, holding my skin hostage as he did it again and again until there were tears in my eyes. Then slowly he let the skin go and found my mouth again, slowing down and using his fingers to trace circles into my tanned flesh. I was caught up and eagerly returned his kiss, finding a rhythm with his and listened to his breathing slow down.

  


Time seemed to drag and speed up all at once when Wade, seemingly reluctant, pulled his mouth away from mine. His eyes were dilated and he pulled one hand out from under my dress to push my hair out of my face. His brown eyes met my green ones for only a second before he bent his forehead down to rest on my collar bone. I tilted my face up to stare at my water stained ceiling, letting my left arm fall to rest on his shoulder and my right began gently filing through his hair. It was soothing and my heart slowly began to regulate. Just the sounds of Ensenada and our breathing filled the room. My throat tightened when I felt his lips gently kiss my collar bone before he carefully began letting me drop onto my feet. His hands remained on my waist as he looked down at me. Wade was thinking, and something told me him thinking wasn't good. But as soon as he had came to a decision, he blinked and leaned down to place a soft and lingering kiss to my forehead.

  


“Take care of yourself, Princess.” He said hoarsely before squeezing my hips and turning away. He grabbed up his duffel and was out my door before I could even think to ask him to stay. I was rooted to where I stood. Lips tingling and staring where the door was still left ajar. Then I felt a hitch in my chest as warm tears slowly slid down my cheeks. I licked my lips, tasting the saltiness mingle with the remaining taste of the mercenary. My apartment became too quiet and I blinked a few times before forcing myself to move and close my door, locking it. I felt too warm so I shut the balcony door and turned my AC on, letting the whir and rattles fill the silence.

  


I went back to my bathroom and turned on my shower, quickly unbinding my sandals and peeling off my clothes. When I caught my reflection in the mirror, I touched my kiss swollen lips and then ran my hand gently over the hickey and dark bruise forming on where Wade had bit me. My skin broke out in goose bumps when the tenderness protested against my finger tips prodding. My eyes were ringed in dark circles and puffy from crying, my tan skin looked a little paler than usual. But before I could dwell too much on my first intimate experience with the opposite sex, I felt how exhausted I was. So I quickly stepped under the running water and started washing the salt from my hair and any last trace of the past 12 hours off me. Within minutes the water was shut off and I wrapped a towel around me.

  


I collapsed on my twin bed in my small bedroom, watching as the sun light through my teal curtains cast pretty streaks across the yellowed walls. The sea shells I'd strung up were eerily still as I buried my face into my pillow and felt the weariness pull me under.

  


  


  


Ten hours later, I rose from my bed and felt somewhat lighter. My reality was different, I was free. It was a revelation as I slid into my jean shorts and a baggy tee shirt, going into the kitchen to make some dinner. I turned on my lamp and TV, letting the sounds add to the rattle of my AC unit. It was going to be beautiful weather and calm seas, I would be able to dive with ease this week. I cracked some eggs into a skillet and scrambled them with some cheese, popping out some toast before grabbing a juice box from the fridge. I went into the living room and purposely ignored the little black notebook on the middle cushion. I changed the channel before tucking into my plate. I watched the images but kept circling back to the knowledge Alekzander Dominov was dead. Wade had killed him.

  


Wade.

  


I swallowed some food down and my mouth went dry. Shit. I licked my lips before slurping on my juice and setting my plate aside. I picked up the book and began flipping through it. I went back over his hand writing, sketches and the interrogation notes. Then there was a few blank pages before I paused. Inside was a few pictures. The first was of me at the docks, with a diving friend I'd met that day. He'd been from out of town too, and I felt bad because I couldn't remember his name. It had been about a month ago. But I was laughing, trying to get my pack together before getting on the boat. I had my old bikini on, green with pink and purple flowers all over it. My dark hair pulled up lazily in a bun that looked like it was about to fall down, which it had.

 

The next picture was me at work, in my jeans and green tee shirt, black apron. I was throwing a bag of trash into the dumpster in the alley beside the store. I looked aggravated. That could be from anytime, I was always angry at work. But the third caught my eyes and made me feel odd. It was sunset, and I was standing on the beach. My back had been facing him, and I was in the white bathing suit cover I'd had on when we'd met. My body was silhouetted underneath and my hair in all directions, shoes dangling from my left hand. This had been a week ago after a good dive. My throat tightened. I'm not a vain person, but this picture was gorgeous. Just me alone on Mexican sand at sun set.

  


As I checked for more pictures, I found none, but I did find a note.

  


  


_Sister Margaret's_

_1432 Institute Street_

_New York, New York_

  


It was an address. I felt my stomach flutter, wondering if he had always intended to give this to me. Something told me he hadn't, but chose to anyways. Then I wondered if he'd left the address in there to give me an open invitation. It made my head swim as I traced my finger over it. I chewed my bottom lip and scraped my nail against the paper. No, he wouldn't have...would he? I quickly closed the book and shook my head, trying to clear my mind. I've lost all common sense. I took a deep breath and set the black notebook down and pulled my legs up to my chest.

  


Wade had make me promise to take care of myself, build on the life I had going here. I scrunched my nose and decided that I wasn't going to think on it too much right now. I needed to move on and heal, accept the new reality he'd given to me and learn to be happy. Really happy.

  


  


Two Weeks Later, NY

  


  


Sister Margaret's was the same as always, he let himself in and took in the all the smoke and debauchery in the air. With no ceremony, he threw himself on a bar stool and grinned at his friend behind the counter.

  


“There you are asshole, Jesus I was starting to think maybe you were dead.” Weasel said as he flung the bar towel over his shoulder and pushed up his glasses. Wade rolled his eyes and waggled his finger at him.

  


“Oh, my dear friend, I am very much alive and thirsty.” He adjusted and pulled out three gold cards from his wallet. He shook them victoriously before Weasel took them and began stowing them away. He mumbled and then excused himself to the back before returning a few minutes later with a huge roll of cash.

  


“See you've racked up a nice payday buddy, for once it wasn't sucking cock for desperate house husbands.” Wade grinned as he pocketed the cash and nodded, eying the familiar bottles of liquor.

  


“I'm trying to better myself, find a more enlightened path.” He signaled for three shots of Patron, before adding onto it. “Besides, can't handle no more wrinkly balls in my face.” The two men raised a shot to each other before downing them and grinning. Wade was about to request another card before Weasel interrupted him.

  


“You were gone a while, Wade. You're tanner than normal, you look healthier.” Weasel's eyes squinted behind his glasses as he poured a few more shots. “Where'd you go?”

  


Wade pursed his lips and shrugged, not wanting to be psychoanalyzed tonight. He picked up the shot and downed it, sliding the glass back to Weasel.

 

“New Jersey, Russia, Connecticut and then Mexico.” The mercenary was trying to be normal and Weasel squinted at him again and Wade glowered back.

 

“Mhm.” Was all the bartender said, before refilling some beers and pulling out the gold cards. Wade groaned as his friend looked like he was about to debunk a great mystery.

  


“Oh fuck me...” Wade groaned as Weasel winked at him.

  


“Not tonight, Wilson. Hmm...” He trailed off, picking out two of the three golden cards and held them up as he read them. “Hmm, we have Jezabelle Jessica Milton and Tantalizing Tia Crown.” He made a show of thinking hard before went on. “Jessica Milton sounds like a cute country girl who rides horses and barrel races. And Tia Crown sounds like a drink, heavy on tequila and fruit juice. Goes to your head and swallows a dick whole as if her life depended on it. Hot damn!” He tossed the cards down and hunched down, leaning on the bar and resting his head on his hands like a little girl.

  


Wade gave him a look, cocking one eye brow and slamming back the last shot.

  


“So, it was Tia?” Weasel prodded, “did she take you into her Mexican casa and show you how warm the waters really were south of the boarder?” The bartender chuckled as Wade went from slightly humored to looking almost annoyed with him. He'd hit the nail on the head, but Wade sighed and snapped his fingers.

  


“That's enough, fuck face sugar tits, gimme a few more.” When Weasel didn't budge, the mercenary groaned. “Do you talk to everyone like this? I bet you don't talk to Jones or Jackson like this.” He have him a knowing look and Weasel snorted.

  


“Fuck no, those over grown meat bags would toss my salad like Olive Garden.” His eyes went unfocused for a minute before he shook the thought off and focused back on Wade.

  


“Well, I can promise you, if you don't give me a card I will ensure that you will be tossing their salads like a starving man who can't get enough of the Ball-samic if you get my flow, homie.” Wade held out his hand one last time and Weasel finally dropped his prying and grudgingly gave him two with separate envelopes.

  


“Here you go, you big damn bully.” Wade snatched them up quickly and blew a kiss to his friend, only to get a middle finger in return. He grinned and walked out,heading towards his apartment as he tucked the enveloped into his bomber jacket. Two blocks and three flights of stairs later, Wade entered his half renovated apartment and locked the door behind him. He hummed as he emptied his pockets and tossed the envelopes and cards on to his laptop key board. He quickly stripped out of his jacket and tee, leaving him in his jeans and muscle shirt.

  


Meticulously like every time before, he turned the machine on and read the names on the cards. Kenneth Bruce and Megan Orlowsky. Kenneth's was paid in full and Megan was a charity. He didn't mind, he got paid from the collection for the charities. It would be a totaled 8k payday, and as he thought about the money he took out the 20k he'd just gotten. He dropped the wad into a drawer which help at least a dozen more rolls. A cover up job and the other was to scare off a stalker. That'd be easy enough. Wade pushed aside the new information and slid in a SD card into the port on his laptop.

  


Within seconds and a few clicks, he opened a file and felt himself settle into the worn down computer chair. There were hundreds of pictures of Mexican scenery and a young woman in each. For a month he'd followed her and tried to get an idea for who she was. He'd tried to find traces of her father in her, and he had. It was her serious face mostly, how she always seemed to be thinking too hard and always looking over her shoulder. But he'd seen her laughing a few times. Her mouth was rather big on her face, her lips pouty, but unbelievably alluring when her face wasn't screwed up in concentration. Wade had known he was in trouble two weeks into watching her.

  


But he went through the pictures an scrolled to the very end. He'd brought Tia back to her apartment, ignoring every warning bell in his head and his better sense. He'd laid her on her couch and took her car to his motel room to get his bag. She had still been out when he'd come back. Tia had been on her back, face looking more tired asleep than it should on a girl her age. But she looked beautiful, and he'd taken a picture of her like that. It was stupid to get himself emotionally compromised but he hadn't been able to help himself. Impulsiveness was something he'd never be rid of. He'd wanted a picture of her just like that, for himself to just keep it fresh in mind for a while.

  


He'd never see er again probably, and it was for the best. The kid was building a life for herself and he'd been surprised on how bad he'd felt when she'd cried. But, he'd made sure she was alright and cleaned up as much of the emotional damage as he could...

  


“Shit.” He mumbled to himself as he scratched his head and scolded himself for the millionth time. He could still smell the salt water that had dried in her hair, and taste the sweetness of mouthwash in her mouth. Feel her soft hands run through his hair and the puff of warm air against him as she gasped so innocently. “Fucking hell!” He growled and shut the laptop. He stood up and paced, before going to his kitchen and grabbing his whiskey. He twisted the lid off and tossed it across the room as he shut the lights off and collapsed in his recliner by the window. It was starting to rain and the merc greedily drank, sighing as the warm haze of a drunken stupor started to settle in.

  


  


  


_“He was good, and a good man. Those two don't sync up when you're expected to kill without question.”_

  


 

**  
**

**  
**

**  
**

**One Year Later, New York**

  


  


“24.87, kid.” The cab driver grumbled and I took out a crumpled twenty and a five, pushing the money into his sausage fingers. I didn't bother to hide my grimace at how greasy they were before spilling myself out into the cold New York rain. I'd been here for a few days now and I still wasn't adjusted to the cold.

  


“Shit!” I hissed as I pulled my coat in around me and sprinted for the brick building. I wasn't surprised to discover this place in one of the seedier parts of downtown. I felt my handgun's familiar weight comforting in places like this. Admittedly, I should probably avoid these areas since I don't look like more than a pip squeak. But, I'm too damn determined and stubborn. I had a reason for being here, otherwise I wouldn't have come.

  


I can feel the water soaking into my jeans by the time I reach the door and see the old sign. It's a plaque meant to look old turn of the century. Most probably think it's for historical purposes. I know better.

  


_**Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Girls.** _

  


I pause to take a deep breath and open the door. Immediately I am both surprised and not disappointed. The smell of cheap cigars and liquor hit me like a brick wall as I let the door close behind me. Some kind of southern rock is playing in the background and the flurry of deep, mean voices make my nerves jump the moment I round a corner and see the lively patrons. Pool tables and smoke, lots of fat guys and scantily clad women with scars. I swallow down the need to turn and run. Carefully, I try to disappear into the crowd as I make my way towards the bar counter.

  


It's nothing fancy, but it looks as if it's never been wanting for people to warm it's stools. I chew my lip out of nervous habit and ignore the feeling of eyes on me. No conversations have halted, but I know I am in the company of killers. Slowly I take off my rain coat and run my hand through my hair, letting my damp black curls tumble down my shoulders. I feel under dressed in my plain black tee shirt and relaxed fit jeans. My worn in brown steel toe boots match my leather under shoulder holster, not so secretly concealed. If you want to walk into the wolves den, you got to show your teeth.

  


So by the time I am sat down, coat over my lap, the feeling of eyes on me doubled. I ignored the hair standing on my arms and seen the bar tender. He was a tall guy, looked like he belonged in his mother's basement with an aluminum hat on his head. His glasses were suited to him and his hair looked like it hadn't been washed yet today. I caught his eye and raised my fingers up. He finished pouring a few beers and sent them down to a few biker guys and made his way over.

  


“Uh, are you lost kid?” He asked me without hesitation. Casually he leaned his hip towards me and eyed me over. I watched as he finally seen my .9mm comfortably under my left arm. One of his eye brows rose as he smirked.

  


“No, actually.” I smirked back and then took out a five dollar bill. “Not trying to cause any trouble, got anything non-alcholic?” I slid the bill to him and he studied it for a second and then gave me a nod. The tender side stepped and crouched down to pull a bottled Coke out of a small fridge. He gave me two dollars back and opened the soda for me. I accepted it and nodded, taking a sip and side glancing.

  


“So, is this what little girls get off on these days? Walking into a bar with a gun and ordering soda?” He paused to lean on the counter and motioned around the room. “I'm going to venture and say you have issues, or really insane kinks.” A playful glint bounced off his eyes as he waited. I took another sip and sat the bottle down.

  


“Maybe, or maybe I just wanted to be the little girl ogled by a sleazy bartender who over charged me for a Coke.” My voice held a teasing tone as he scoffed.

  


“It's the Weasel tax, kid. Underage thrill seekers get overcharged for compromising the sacred space of this establishment.” He did a good job at looking affronted, then I grinned and nodded.

  


“Fair enough. Actually, I'm hoping to find someone who works out of here.” I said honestly and he stopped thinking whatever it was that was going through his head. He straightened his back and shrugged.

  


“I'm the only one who really works here.” He looked away for a second before looking back at me. I rolled my eyes and reached into my back pocket where I had my old letter folded and ready.

  


“I wrote a letter a long time ago and it got passed on to a merc. He took care of it.” I slid it to the bartender and watched as he opened it and his brows shot up to his hairline.

  


“Holy shit! You're Tantalizing Tia! The Mexico babe?” His eyes were wide before he squinted them at me and pointed his finger. “Oh my god!”

  


At this point I'm sure I looked beyond confused and he handed the letter back to me, shaking his head and running both his hands through his hair before laughing.

  


“Tantalizing Tia?” I asked, and he shook his head.

  


“Um, so you're looking for Wade?” He changed the subject and tried to hide his grin. I just nodded and he chuckled some more before going back to mostly serious. He then leaned across the counter and held out his hand. “I'm Weasel, Wade and I are good buddies.” I gave him a forced nod and shook his hand, it felt cleaner than expected. He then continued talking as I put the letter back into my pocket.

  


“Oh, nice to meet you then.” It was as awkward as I felt now, and suddenly he snapped his fingers before checking the clock.

  


“He uh, should be here in an hour or so if you want to hang around. He brings Vanessa for a night cap nearly every night, but he also inquires about work.” His eyes ventured away from me as more people walked up to order. So I didn't say anything more and watched him while he made drinks and bullshitted with regulars. I was content to sit in peace and sip on my Coke. I thought over what he'd said about Wade. He brings a Vanessa here. She must be a girlfriend. I swallowed an itch in my throat and shook it off. I hadn't come here with the intentions of a romantic reunion.

  


I'm a realist, I know it's going to be awkward and he might give me a speech about not listening....but I need help. I have been searching for information about anything that could be related to this project that Alek had confessed to Wade during his torture. So far, I haven't come up with much of anything on my own. Just that it wasn't only weapons or human trafficking, but mutants too. The thought gave me the creeps. Aside from science, what could the government want mutants for? Oh I know, weaponizing them. The subject has been in the news lately, great debates between men and women who probably get off on hearing themselves talk. The whole nation was probably sick of hearing about it.

  


The only source I had was some kind of Deepthroat wannabe who sent me an email telling me to steer clear of the topic and to stop digging. I, being who I am, wrote back and after five emails the only thing I got was the fact it hadn't just been humans but mutants as well. I'd written back, asking for more and I got a mailer deamon afterwards. Fucker. While I was deep in thought, I hadn't noticed my Coke had gone flat and nearly an hour had passed by.

  


“Hey!” A palm came down on the counter in front of me, startling me out of my thoughts. I jumped and found the owner of the tattooed limb. A fairly attractive older man was leaning over me and smiling, revealing straight teeth. I noticed a few covered in silver. His blue eyes were glassy from his state of intoxication and the whiskey on his breath made my nose hairs curl.

  


“Can I help you?” I asked him, not hiding my irritation. He leered at me and leaned it, I could feel the leather of his vest rubbing against my right arm.

  


“As a matter of fact you can, sweetheart.” He winked and took his time staring at my chest. “You can tell me what you like to drink so I can buy you one.” Oh, great. I tried to smile, really I did.

  


“Thanks for the offer, but I'm good with what I got.” I motioned to my Coke and the man played it off.

  


“Oh come on, you've been nursing that thing for an hour. Can't be as good as a shot or two?” By this point I am debating whether or not to totally shut him down or try to remain polite. I seen Weasel coming over and he looked bored and unsurprising.

  


“Jackson, why don't you buy Bones a shot instead?” He asked, motioning to a fat bald guy who was lining to take a shot on the pool table. Jackson snorted and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. Weasel didn't miss my wince.

  


“That fat fucker ain't as pretty as this one though.” He stated as a matter of factly. I grabbed his wrist and started to remove his arm when he let out a sharp breath and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “Stop playing hard to get, I'm too drunk for foreplay.” My eyes narrowed and I brought my left arm up, slamming my elbow down on his. His grip loosened and I stood, aiming a solid punch to his face. He seemed to absorb it for the most part before back handing me in the mouth and grabbing my hair. I groaned as he forced my head back to look up at him. “That wasn't nice, bitch.” He growled, ignoring the fast swelling of his left eye.

  


A lot of things happened just then. The room went quiet all for the music, Weasel was trying to get out from behind the bar and I was smirking as I tapped the barrel of my gun against his crotch. For dramatic effect, of course. But when I applied some more pressure, I tilted my head to the side and spit a mouthful of blood onto his shiny polished biker boots.

  


“That's no way to handle a woman, let alone a woman with a gun.” I used my free hand to wipe my lips and chin off. “You've got three seconds to let me go or I blow your cock all the way to hell with my little sidekick here, comprende amigo?” My voice was calm as still water. Jackson's mouth twisted up with anger before nodding and letting go of my hair. The immediate release of pressure was heavenly. As he backed away towards the door, I kept the weapon pointed at his crotch until he was out of the room. I looked around at every one else, cocking my head and arching an eyebrow. Within seconds they all resumed their conversations and games.

  


“Well, never mind.” Weasel said as he stopped mid stride towards me and headed back behind the counter. I gave him a mischievous smile before placing the gun back in it's holster.

  


“See, not just for kicks.” I stated as I heard a very distinctive laugh coming our way. I turned to see who it was as I was sitting down and had to control myself. Towards the far end of the counter was Wade with another black haired beauty. His arm was around her waist as he was smiling and shaking his head, her dark eyes were crinkled with laughter as he motioned to the door.

  


“Jeeezus, who sent Jackson home with his tail tucked between his legs?” His voice sent a shiver down my spine, he sounded the same. But there was a difference, it was lighter and seemed to radiate energy. I knew that tone. My Mom and Dad had that tone when we used to have cook outs. I felt frozen as he unwrapped his arm from the woman, obviously Vanessa. He shrugged off his coat and helped her out of hers. His long sleeve army green shirt looked good on him as it rode up slightly. His legs looked long in his jeans. His hair must be freshly cut. All at once I was taking in all these details, it made my head swim. Then she laughed. It was a sweet and playful sound.

  


Vanessa was gorgeous. She had on a red dress with black fishnets that hugged her like a second skin. Her heels could be registered as a deadly weapon and her body was petite but mature. I looked like a child next to her. My small C cups and curvy hips felt awkward and huge compared to her. I quickly put my gun away and tried to calmly and casually pick up my coat and drape it back across my lap as I sat back down.

  


“This lil' badass right here.” Weasel piped up, jerking his head towards my direction. I didn't miss his shit eating grin.

  


“I will buy them a drink...” Vanessa giggled as they both turned their attention to me. Like a coward, I met Vanessa's eyes first and nodded. It was a subtle acknowledgment. The surprise which registered on her face was almost sweet. Her head tilted as she took in all the details about me. Young, casually dressed, gun, young... Couldn't hold the quiet conclusions she's making against her. This doesn't look good on my end to be in a place like this. I can only imagine.

  


But when I got the balls to look past her, what I seen first was a totally still chest. Wade was now facing me while standing behind her. His left hand was securely on her hip. I noticed the small twitch there before allowing my eyes to trail upwards. His brown eyes were pinning me to my spot, jaw tense and his brows set low as he was thinking. He made that face when he was thinking. My stomach knotted up as I took a deep breath and pursed my lips. It was like I was trying to say, _“Hey, don't strangle me for coming here.”_

  


He looked immediately uncomfortable, then just as soon as it had taken him off guard he relaxed and blinked. His hand eased up on Vanessa's hip as he nodded his head to me.

  


“Awfully young to be scaring off big boy killers in a bar, kid.” It was light hearted but I caught the double meaning. Vanessa rolled her eyes and bumped him with her butt.

  


“Don't try to lecture her, Wade. I'm sure she has her reasons.” The woman took a few steps in my direction and held out her hand. Her smile was brilliant and I found myself unable to hesitate in taking it. “I'm Vanessa. That's my boyfriend, Wade.” Her grip was gentle but firm and I smiled in return.

  


“I'm Tia, nice to meet you.” I felt awkward as she motioned to Wade to introduce himself. He came over and held his hand out. I stared at it before sliding my hand into his, ignoring the warmth that I had found myself missing after the little time I'd spent with him before. It was quick and over with before I could squeeze his hand in return. It wasn't like last time though, and that saddened me some. Finally I looked around and felt reluctant to do this with Vanessa standing here. Despite how innocent my intentions were, I didn't want to talk about my Dad and my investigation in front of her.

  


“Nice to meet you.” Wade said casually. I could feel Weasel's confusion from all the way over here. He was waiting for a finale but there wasn't going to be one.

  


“Can we buy you a drink?” Vanessa suddenly asked, seemingly very interested in my presence there. Wade went to speak but I beat him to the punch.

  


“Oh, that's really nice of you but uh, I need to get going.” I slid off the stool and began pulling my coat on. She nodded and leaned into Wade as I awkwardly finished my stale Coke and waved at Weasel.

  


“Oh, it's really getting nasty out there. I hope you don't have far to go?” Wade asked, helping me with my coat. I slid my left arm in and adjusted, wanting to be out of here. I hadn't expected to feel this weird about everything. I thought I was going to be able to keep my cool. Ha! Nope. Because Vanessa was busy watching me, he was able to meet my eyes. He gave me a look, like it was a question and an aggravation. I felt my own frustration prickle.

  


“No, I've rented a room at the Goodwin. It's only like a ten minute drive by cab. But, it was nice meeting you all.” I gave them all a small nod. I side stepped and waved bye to Weasel. When Sister Margaret's door shut behind me, I let out a sigh of relief as I hailed a taxi and went back to the hotel.

  


  


  


It was almost 5 am when there was a soft knock on my door. I wasn't asleep, I had just been sprawled out on my full size bed watching an old movie on TV. I was in sweat pants and an muscle shirt, the usual sleep wear in colder climate. I turned on my small lamp beside my bed and padded to the door. I leaned up and glanced out of the peep hole, sure enough there he was. He looked awkward as he glanced down the hallway. I'm sure he didn't want to be seen at some strange hotel at this hour. So, I sighed and quickly unlocked my door and peeked out. My hair was all over the place, so I just pushed it out of my face.

  


“Morning.” Wade said a little too perky, pushing his way inside. I stumbled out of the way and crossed my arms across my chest as he shut the door and locked it. It was still fairly dark in my room so I went to my bed and collapsed on it. I drew my legs up and sat Indian style, watching as he stared back at me. He was in what he was in at Sister Margaret's, his hair was wetter though. He looked beautiful except for the cold edge in his behavior. “Weasel said you'd come looking for me. Why?”

  


“I'm trying to dig into why my father was killed, what it was exactly that made him want to blow the whistle.” I admit I was feeling defensive, and slightly exposed in my sleep wear. Wade screwed his face up, pinching the bridge of his nose before he shook his head.

  


“What part of 'they killed your dad for knowing too much' do you not understand, Tia?” The merc looked angry and started pacing. “Are you fucking stupid?” He stopped and gave me a rather harsh look. I suddenly felt like a child, being reprimanded for doing something stupid. “You have no business looking under that rock, kid!” He added on, and I shot to my feet.

  


“Oh fuck you Wade! He was my father! I have every right to want to get to the truth!” I was standing a few feet from him now before throwing my hands up. “I'm pretty sure that what happened to him is going to happen to more people! Let alone all the other people who are being bought and sold off! I just want justi-” He growled and threw his arms up this time.

  


“What? Justice? News flash, kid, there's no such thing as justice!” He squared his shoulders with mine and flicked my nose, causing me to see red. “What happened to your old man sucks, your mom too, but they put themselves in that position. Your father knew better, and your mom is the one who swallowed-”

  


My fist hit him squarely in the mouth. I was shaking and I cocked back to hit him again, but he caught my wrist and pulled me in close so that he could get my full attention. His free hand came up and he pointed his index finger in my face.

  


“That hurt.” Then he paused and looked at my fist, seeing the redness, before continuing. “When I killed that fucker and tracked you down, I was doing my job. But I wanted to make sure you got something out of all the bullshit you'd went through.” His hard voice softened just slightly. “I don't want you getting involved in that shit. It'll get you killed.” Wade's brown eyes met mine and I looked away, jerking my hand back. I walked to the window and peeped through the blinds. The sky was just starting to lighten up. Awkward silence built between us, and I was almost sure he was just going to leave until he shrugged out of his coat and sat on the edge of the bed.

  


It felt as if he was the stranger he actually was. I wanted to scream and cry at how stupid it had been to come here. Wade was a merc, I'd been a job, and that had been it. Maybe he wanted to give me something positive out of that emotional night, or maybe he had been bored and wanted payment of some sort for his trouble. I watched as the rain pelted against the window, seeing the way the glass fogged up against my warm breath.

  


“Kid...” The nickname made me wince, it felt more like an insult now.

  


“Stop calling me that.” I said to him, shooting him a sharp side glance. He pursed his mouth and nodded once, before sighing and scratching his neck.

  


“I can't help you.”

  


“Can't or you won't?” I fired back, and he clenched his jaw. He looked down at his hands before looking up at me, sure and certain. Our eyes holding each other's.

  


“Both.”

  


I seen it in there. There was more depth than before, more than the job and killing people. There was a beautiful black haired woman who wore red dresses and smiled just for him. She had him wrapped around her finger and he was happy. Something inside me cracked, but didn't break. I licked my lips and ignored the way he ignored it. I took a deep breath and did my best to smile.

  


“Vanessa's beautiful.” I spoke softly and he nodded, eyes seemingly to finally focus. He smiled a little too, rubbing his hands on his jeans.

  


“Yeah, she's awesome.” Wade scooted back a little more on the bed and relaxed some more. I bit back my previous aggravation and sat beside him, careful to leave plenty of room between us.

  


“For how long?” I asked, digging my toes into the carpet.

  


“Almost a year now. Met her shortly after getting back from Mexico.” He was smiling again and I didn't want to see it, so I stared at the floor. “She almost ripped a guy's balls off. Called him a fat Gandolf.” Despite myself, I giggled.

  


“Yeah, you can't help but like her. She's magnetic. I can see why you love her.” I conceded, glancing at Wade as he chuckled. “Was so awkward though, should have stayed in Mexico.” I whispered the last part and was relieved when he didn't pry anymore. More silence fell, and the TV was white noise. It was almost as if we were just soaking up each other's presence without wanting to admit to it. That's alright with me, guess it is for him too. But the longer we sat there not talking, the less awkward it became and soon I had to fight the urge to just lean into him.

  


“I'm sorry you came here for nothing, Tia.” He conceded to me, and I only nodded and shrugged.

  


“Shit happens, I just wish you weren't right. I wish I could just know everything and...I don't know anymore.” Suddenly all the wind in my sails left me. I slouched and felt too tired. I felt beaten and back to square one. I didn't know enough to do this on my own. The bed creaked and Wade shifted to look at me directly, his hair was more dry now. He looked amazing in the orange light of the shitty lamp.

  


“I wish I had the answers to give you, but life isn't fair. You know that better than anyone. I still think you should move on and focus on making your life better. Go back to Mexico, Princess.” My heart lurched into my throat and tears threatened to rise. I took a deep breath and pushed them back. “You had it good there.” He was right, I knew it, everything in me was telling me he was right. I could only nod, then I leaned back and laid on the bed. I closed my eyes and wished to disappear into nothing. There was a few heart beats before Wade laid back and remained quiet. Once again, we were absorbing each other in the silence.

  


“What are you thinking?” He asked, and I felt the warmth of his callused hand as it slipped gently into mine. I focused hard on not letting that small gesture burn me alive. His fingers wound with mine, his thumb was rubbing the space between mine and my index finger. I shuddered and didn't care if I was too eager to hold his hand a little tighter. It had been so long since I had just been close to someone. I had a bad habit of seeing enemies everywhere. I'd only kissed one other person since Wade, and it didn't stack up. I never bothered after to try to find that sense of ease. It was very lonely being so young and yet so old.

  


“How alone I feel all the time.” It came out so tired and pathetic, but I didn't even bother to wince or care. I just kept my eyes closed and tried to memorize how good this felt. How warm he was and how I didn't have to hide from him. He knew it all.

  


“I can't imagine...” He started, but I squeezed his hand.

  


“Then don't.” I finally opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling. No water stains, no dirt. Clean white and probably newly done. “There's no need for you to. You have Vanessa, no need to sympathize with some crazy girl who can't see past yesterday.” My hand loosened in his, willing to let go but his clamped onto mine, stronger. I froze and turned my face to look at him. He did the same, his brown eyes boring into my green ones.

  


“I kept a picture.” He whispered, continuing to rub his thumb on my hand. I nodded for him to continue. “I took it after I had brought you back to your apartment. You were asleep on your couch, and I couldn't help myself.” Wade exhaled, turning onto his side and bringing our hands up closer to his face. He stared at them instead of my eyes. “I knew I should have deleted all the pictures, and I did, except that one. It's on my laptop and Vanessa doesn't ask about it.” Guilt flashed over his face and I couldn't look away. “I smelled the salt in your hair and tasted your mouth wash for weeks after I got back. It was only until a few months after I got with Vanessa did I stop.” Wade's mouth was pursed tightly again, before he ducked his head down and ran his nose over the back of my hand.

  


I couldn't speak. Tears were in my eyes, it hurt but it also comforted me. It hadn't just been me with hero worship or some crush on a memory. He'd felt the connection too. But it didn't so either of us any good because I could see he was in love with Vanessa. The term bittersweet doesn't cover it, but it's all I got to compare it to.

  


“She knows I'm here. She didn't ask any questions after you left, but she recognized you.” He added on, finally looking up to meet my eyes again. “Vanessa is smart, and she hardly forgets anything. When we got in bed, she just kissed me and told me to 'go ahead and go, but be back before she woke up.'” The smile which slowly formed on his lips was sweet, and I felt happy for him in a way. “She's a good woman, Princess. I love her.”

  


“I'm happy for you, really.” I replied, squeezing his hand as I once again tried to let go. This time, he let me. I inhaled him in, then sat up. I felt the bed shift as he followed suit, and then I stood. I slowly fetched his coat and held it out for him. Wade then also stood, and shrugged it back on. I didn't trust myself to say much of anything else now. I just stayed rooted to the spot, not willing to escort him out or ask him to stay. He seemed to pick up on this as he remained rooted to the spot, looking at me while I tried to accept that this was it. I knew I'd never pop in like this on him again, and I'd most likely either go back to Mexico or somewhere else.

  


“Do you need anything?” He asked, but I shook my head.

  


“Take care Wade.” I said barely above a whisper as my chest hitched and my eyes watered. His jaw clenched, his body taut. It felt like an eternity, before he stepped closer to me. I didn't move back this time. I just remained firmly in place, forcing myself not to cry. I looked down at his boots and my bare feet. His hands came up and swept the hair out of my face, forcing my head back some. I closed my eyes when his warm lips pressed against my forehead. He held them there while he spoke, softly running his fingers in circles on my throat.

  


“Please don't go looking for trouble, Princess.” I nodded against his lips on my brow. They felt soft and the five o'clock shadow on his face tore through me. Too many similarities, and I felt the cracked part of me fracture some more. None of this felt right. He should be crawling into my bed with me. I should be kissing him and getting under his skin. I wanted to see him in the raw light of day, I wanted to see him smile at me the way he did with her. I don't know if it was sadness, anger, desperation of just a misplaced sense of possessiveness...but I suddenly came alive and grabbed the collar of his shirt.

  


I was almost on my toes when I sought out and found his mouth, trying to bruise my lips against his. I ignored the tears as they fell, trying to get as close to him as I could one last time. But I quickly realized he wasn't moving, his lips as still as death. I squeezed the tears out of my eyes and pulled away, watching as his eyes opened. The grief in the depths of his brown eyes struck me physically as my stomach rolled. I inhaled sharply and turned my back to him, not holding back the feeling of betrayal that coiled around my rib cage. My eyes found the black note book on the bedside table he'd given me last year. I just focused on that, waiting to hear him leave.

  


But instead, his hand found my hip and his other grabbed a handful of my hair. He stepped around me and bent his head down to mine, taking my lips with assurance. Knowing this would be my last chance, I whimpered and grabbed at his coat. Wade's mouth never left mine as he slipped out of it, before returning his hands to me. I shivered and shook as he pulled me as close as he could get me. My hands went to his hair, my mouth was trying to devour the very air in his lungs. I was drowning. I was lost. I needed everything he was if I was to live another second.

  


The mercenary caught on, and his mouth was meeting mine with tongue and teeth. He nearly broke skin as he sucked my bottom lip between his teeth and bit down. I moaned and scratched my nails down his neck. Wade grabbed at my shirt and pulled it off of me in one fail swoop. I paid no mind to the chilly air on my bare skin and breasts. It was only when he pulled away to peel off his own shirt did we clearly see each other. My throat closed as his eyes looked black in the dim lighting.

  


“Tia...” He whispered, before getting close to me again. I stopped him though, wanting to have a moment to see him. My hands held firm on his chest, feeling the warmth and smoothness of his skin. His hear was pounding and the muscles firm. Suddenly I felt vertigo as my eyes hungrily devoured him. There wasn't a muscle that hadn't been sculpted to perfection. He was lean muscle and not as bulky as I'd seen other men on the beach. He wasn't for show, his muscles were from working out with a purpose. Endurance, fighting. My mouth went dry as I trailed my hands down from his pecs to his stomach. The muscles tightened and flexed, I shivered.

  


The shyness hit me and I felt my hands shaking. Wade ducked his head lower to meet my eyes. His hands wrapped around mine as I rested them in the waist of his jeans. My thumbs rubbed over the button, and he sighed as he nudged me on. I chewed my lower lip, trying to calm myself down. But once the button was undone, he wasted no time in recapturing my mouth with his. This time it was paced and languid. Wade's arms wrapped around me and I felt myself melt into him. His callused hands ran up and down my back, working easy circles into my spine. His mouth was working spells and incantations on my mind, making everything in the past and future fade into nothing. God, he was so perfect.

  


His hands were slowly circling around to my rib cage. I just sighed into his mouth, before my body jerking when his fingers grazed the under side of my breasts. He didn't miss it as he pulled away and gave me a goofy half grin.

  


“Relax, Princess.” His voice was rough and it made my heart jolt. I swallowed and nodded, leaning up to kiss him again. Wade pulled back again, giving me a quizzical look. “What's wrong?” His face wasn't jesting, he was totally serious. I started to get worried I had ruined the mood, but knew better to lie. I felt my face turning redder. I shrugged and felt his hands rest on my ribs as he waited.

  


“I uh, well, I've never...ya know.” I wanted to punch myself for how immature that sounded. After a beat he picked up on what I meant and his eyes widened and he looked to be lost for words. I groaned and hid my face in his chest. It was only a moment before his arms circled around me.

  


“Oh.” He simply said, before kissing my forehead and forcing me to look up a him. “Do you want to stop?” There was that carefully place neutral tone, but I immediately shook my head.

  


“If you stop I think I will die.” I had to smile, leaning back up to kiss him. Wade sighed and nodded, easing himself back to where he was before I spooked. Slowly and entirely, he palmed at my breasts. It was like his first kiss, sure and assertive. I gasped as he suddenly stopped and hooked his thumbs into the waist of my sweat pants. In one swift movement, he yanked them and trailed his hands up my thighs.

  


“Fucking hell...” He groaned before taking handfuls of my bottom and squeezing. I groaned back and went back to his jeans. My heart beat was pounding in my ears and I felt unsteady as I lowered the zipper. My knuckles grazed the skin at his hips when I pushed them down, I smiled shyly when I felt his abs tighten at the sensation.

  


“You're beautiful.” I slurred out between his kisses. Wade pulled away to look at me, and I could swear his ears were turning red.

  


“Shut up.” He griped before pushing me to step back against the bed. His hands lowered me down. His eyes skirted all over me fully exposed to him. I wanted to sink into the mattress and disappear as he stepped out of his jeans and starting pushing down his boxers. My throat tightened as I took all of him in visually. Muscular legs, and...whoa. I felt my face burning as he bent down to draw my attention away from a very, very nice... “Stop thinking so much.” He whispered as his mouth found mine. I shifted and gave him room to relax, as he placed kisses down my throat and lower.

  


With my mouth free, I had to concentrate on not blurting out random things that popped into my head. It worked for a whole minute as Wade's mouth was peppering kisses down my stomach.

  


“I don't want to disappoint you..” I had my eyes squeezed tightly shut as his mouth latched onto the inside of my thigh. He paused and I yelped as he bit down, sucking hard and letting it go with a pop. My head shot up and I stared at him, eyes blown wide, and this look on his face that made me shudder.

  


“That's not possible.” There was a fierce defensiveness there and before I could argue, his finger slid into me and I gasped. His mouth was drawing circles over the bruise he'd caused and his breathing was ragged. “I always regretted not taking you against that wall in your apartment.” The merc growled as his hand sped up. “I would dream about how you breathe and how sweet you tasted...”

  


“Wade!” I squirmed against him as he added a second finger, and he held me down. There were so many things shooting through my body that I didn't know how to breath almost. My hands searched for his hair, before he withdrew his fingers and adjusted himself before lowering his mouth. My back arched as lips and teeth continued the work of his fingers. “Holy...” I started before my mind went blank. My heart was going to explode and I was going to pass out. My hands were desperately trying to find an anchor, and I felt tears in my eyes. Then I felt his warm fingers intertwining with mine, and I held on for dear life as my soul ripped itself from my body.

  


Stars exploded in my vision and I could hear waves crashing in my ears, like when you hold a shell to you ear. I didn't let go of him, and barely noticed when he began kissing his way back up. My whole body was humming with energy as he shifted my legs with his and leaned down to kiss me. It was languid and I didn't pay no mind to how differently he tasted now, I just felt my body tingling as I slowly settled back down to earth. It must have shown on my face, because he smiled and seemed happy with himself.

  


“See? Not disappointed.” Wade whispered as he slowly let my hands go. He took one arm and wrapped it under my head, the other massaged my left leg as he sought to get comfortable. Despite the ease that had settled into my body, I felt the nerves taking over me again. Wade shook his head and lowered his forehead to mine. “Do you want to stop?” It was a sincere out for me, but I shook my head and rested my hands on his upper arms. “Relax, Princess.” He said again and started to kiss me. I ignored the way he was lining his body up and trying to focus on his mouth. He slowed down for a moment, before roughly claiming my lips and thrusting forward. I cried out and sank my nails into his back. Both of us arched, before he held perfectly still.

  


I was trying to just breath and he felt like a stone above me. I held my eyes shut, willing the tears to dry up. I wanted to move but I knew better. I felt totally safe and encased in Wade. The man who'd killed probably countless people, was trying to use restraint and keep me close. We both breathed heavily into eachother's face before his mouth gently kissed the corners of my eyes before finding mine. He kissed once, twice before rubbing his nose against mine.

  


“Breathe, relax..” I could only breathe as he gently started rocking his hips into mine. Each time the pinching sting became less and less. I relaxed my legs and started to adjust to move with the man above me. Wade would give encouraging grunts, freeing up a hand to push the hair out of my face so he could see me. I gave up being shy, meeting his eyes as we moved together. Between the cool air around us and the heat turning to fire under our skin, the sad reality that he'd be leaving soon...I felt a fresh wave of tears hit me as I used my legs to pull him in as deep as I could get him. My arms held him fiercly, my tongue pushing past his lips. Again I was desperate to devour him, hoping that when he left I'd be left with a small piece of him.

  


Wade didn't seem to mind, or maybe he felt the same as he wrapped his arms tighter around me. His mouth went back to all lips and teeth as we took turns marking each other. I lost track of how long we did this, over and over again. Then he when he reached his peak, the older man stammered and shuddered, kissing me deeply. I felt hazy as he had to catch his breath, I felt him inhaling erratically. The bed squeaked as he gently withdrew from me and collapsed next to me. Wade laid still for just a moment before seeking me out and pulling me close. His arms wrapped around me as his legs kicked the covers down and he lazily pulled them up and over us.

  


I was quiet and was trying hard to fight the drowsiness off, but I knew with how exhausted and sore I was and how warm he was...I'd be out in no time. This filled me with panic. Wade, once again, sensed this and his mouth found the sensitive area below my ear. His lip lazily kissed the skin there as he started talking.

  


“Stop thinking, Princess. Just...” But my eyes were watering again as I grabbed his hand and brought it up to my mouth. I kissed the scars on his knuckles and nodded.

  


“I'm going to fall asleep and when I wake up, you'll be gone and once again I'm going to be alone.” I used my free hand to wipe the tears away and just buried deeper into his front. “I won't say anything else, just know that when I wake up I will miss you. I already do.” My voice cracked and I felt his arms tighten around me. “It's okay. Thank you for this.” Without words, he nodded and ran his hand through my tangled mess of hair.

  


Outside the city was waking up and car horns blared. People were commuting to work and wherever they were supposed to be. New York never stopped, time was always moving forward more quickly than anywhere else. And my heart was breaking all over again, and as my eyes drifted closed, I had never not wanted to wake back up.

  


  


  


It was close to noon when Wade unlocked the door to his apartment. He quietly came inside and set his keys on the table, peeling off his jacket. The curtains were drawn closed and he could see Vanessa still asleep on her side of the bed. He stood there for a minute, watching as her chest rose and fell under their thin blanket. The mercenary knew he should be eaten up with guilt, but he wasn't. He just felt different. Then without more pause, he slid out of his boots and went into the bathroom. The dingy mirror greeted him as he peeled off his clothes and stuck them in the dirty clothes hamper.

  


Wade wasted no time turning on the hot water and stepping in. He pulled the frosted glass door over and stepped under the shower head. He sighed happily as the warmth ran over his muscles and stung with the scratches...

  


His chest tightened as he clenched his jaw and momentarily relived the last night he'd ever have with the girl who'd muddled up everything in his head. Her big green eyes, the way she gasped his name and innocently held him so close. Tia, Tia Tia... Wade shivered and wiped at his face as he grabbed his shampoo, lathering his hair. As his fingers carded through his hair, he noticed how much and yet it didn't feel the same as when she'd done it. Or how her lips drank from him like a dying nomad in the desert. For what it was, it had been perfection. God, Wade had to shake himself. His resolve was shaken and there was a weight settling deep in his gut.

  


It had been harder than he'd thought to unwind himself from her earlier. He'd covered her back up and watched her sleep as he quietly got dressed. He checked her bags and made sure she had enough money, she did. But it didn't stop him from slipping in four extra hundred dollar bills just to make sure she didn't fall short. He'd also slipped something extra in there, something for her to have on her travels. Then after he'd made it to the door, he'd taken a moment to just watch her sleep. Tia was bathed in slender rays of sunshine that came through the spaces between the blinds and curtains. Her tan skin glowed, her face peaceful and deceptive of the turmoil that warred in her during her waking hours. IT'd been there since the first time he'd seen her from afar.

  


That kind of emotional baggage physically effected someone. They carried it somewhere. Most slouched or dragged their feet, Tia carried it in her eyes. But right now, as she slept satiated and sore, he knew it was blissful blackness. Then as if she could sense his eyes on her, she made a small sound and rolled onto her side, facing the window. The thing cover and sheet slid around and stopped, exposing her to his greedy eyes. Her hip was naked, along with her thigh and calf. Her arm was draped across her breasts but he could see the curve and swell. The messy black curls were everywhere, but they highlighted her bruised and marked up throat.

  


Wade groaned in the shower as he grabbed for his body wash and began lathering up quickly. He could still feel her hands on him, like a ghost. It made his skin prickle and his muscles taught.

  


But walking out of the hotel room door had been so much harder than he'd thought it would be. He knew he had an attachment to her, and for some reason Vanessa knew this as well. Maybe she thought by giving him this night that it'd be out of his system and they could move on. It was more than what most people would do, and he loved her more for it. The mercenary didn't regret his decision, he just wasn't sure how to move past it now. He knew Vanessa would wake up when he crawled in bed, he knew that she'd know. Yeah his body and the traces of Tia would be obvious, but Vanessa would just know. She always knew, and yet she would still love him. Wade was starting to wonder if she knew that Tia had needed him, too.

  


All the thinking was making him more tired, so he just shut the water off and toweled himself dry. He didn't bother with clothes as he turned the light off and walked out into the apartment. He first went to the windows, pulling the blinds tighter before double checking the locks on the door. Wade quietly padded to the bed and carefully slid in. Like he knew she would, Vanessa stretched out and rolled to face him. Her hands reached for him and he pulled her in close. He could tell by her breathing that she was awake, but they ;aid there in silence for a long time before she finally spoke.

  


“Is she okay?” It wasn't what he expected, but Wade nodded and kissed Vanessa's hairline.

  


“She will be.” He said hoarsely, closing his eyes and running his hands on the familiar skin of his girlfriend. Vanessa didn't feel tense of like she was holding anything back, she just wrapped herself around him as always. God, he loved her.

  


“Good. She seems like a good kid.” Her words were soft, but Wade fought off a wince. Kid, Tia most certainly wasn't a child...especially now.

  


“She'll find her way.” He said softly and Vanessa hummed, splaying her hand over his heart. “Thank you.” Wade added, knowing she'd know what he was thanking her for. Vanessa nodded into him and yawned. Then she rose her head up and touched his face, seeing the shadows in his eyes and the circles under his eyes. She blinked as she seen the scratches and the hickies. For not one second did she seem upset or betrayed. She just leaned up and kissed him. After a few beats, she pulled away and touched his lower lip.

  


“I have never judged you for your past, nor have you judged me.” Her lips pursed before pushing on. “When I seen the way she looked at you, and you her, I knew she was the one from the picture. I'm not upset babe. She needed closure the same way you did. I can sense things about people, and she needed you. You're a good man, and I know you love me. But I'm glad you were able to love her for a night, because she may never get that again. We never know what will happen tomorrow.”

  


Wade felt his chest squeeze as he pulled her in tightly and kissed her hard. His hands skated up her back as she climbed into his lap.

  


“God woman, I love you.” Vanessa smiled to herself and she kissed him back just as hard.

  


“I know.”

  


  


  


When Wade woke up that evening, Vanessa had already left for work. He took a moment to come to his senses before he stood up and took a piss. He got dressed back into a pair of clean jeans and sat down at his lap top. He fired up the machine and pulled up his old picture folder. With a calm cool patience, he finally found the picture. For so long it'd been just taking up a few bytes of data, reminding him of one of the only real good things he'd done for someone. Tia made him want to eat his words about being a good man and then being good at it. She'd made it so simple, but she'd also complicated a lot of other things.

  


The mercenary sat there for a while and took in the familiar image that would always be burned into his memory. He wouldn't remember her for this morning, but for this picture. A lost girl who just wanted to find her place. But the girl was now a woman and she was stronger and meaner. He knew Tia would hopefully do a better job of it this time. He wanted to imagine her back in Ensenada, under the sun and drinking a margarita. Salt in her hair, hidden gun in her bag. Wade licked his lips and selected the picture before hitting delete. The action left him feeling a little numb before he sighed and rubbed his face tiredly.

  


Calmly he stood and finished getting dressed before deciding to head out for some food. Tacos sounded like a winner, but he'd take the long way around. He didn't want to ever walk past the Goodwin Hotel ever again.

  


  


  


  


“Where to miss?” The cabbie asked me as I shut the door behind me. I shrugged and pushed my bags over for more room.

  


“Airport, please.” I replied as the Indian man smiled and pulled back into traffic. The storm clouds were moving back in as the Goodwin Hotel was left behind. I was trying not to think, and just focus on getting out of town. Waking up had been hard, finding the bed cold and empty. I knew it would be that way, but it didn't lessen the hurt. I'd ignored my bruises, the soreness and the little bit of blood as I'd climbed into the shower. I just put myself on auto pilot until I was checking out and now I was in a cab.

  


My eyes blocked out the bustling evening crowds and I focused on the sounds of the Hindi music my driver was listening to. He had a picture of a beautiful Indian woman pinned to his dash and I couldn't find it in me to wonder about their story. I just sighed and fiddled with the pocket on my hoody. The rain came again, making the surrounding world look like a sad Van Gogh. The irony didn't go amiss but I just kept pushing it all back.

  


I just kept seeing his brown eyes every time I closed mine, I heard his voice between everything else. So I was going away, and leaving him alone. Memphis sounded good, turning myself over to some blues and the music scene. Or maybe I could go to Amsterdam and get stoned for a few months. Anything sounded better than New York. And as I thought these things, I didn't notice the cab stopping.

  


“That'll be 15.45, miss.” The cabbie said and I only nodded. I dug my wallet out and opened it to give him some cash, and I froze. Inside was more cash than I remembered, but that wasn't the kick in the gut. Worn around the edges and a few scratches, was the baseball card I'd sent with my letter so long ago. My eyes watered as I pulled it out and ran my fingers over the edges. It looked like it had been carried around, weathered down to the point of having no cash value...but it was even more valuable to me now. Tears fell from my eyes as I realized he had to have been carrying this around for ages. I'd forgotten all about this card. But he hadn't. Just the only thing a little girl had to offer for help to bring her family peace. Peace that came too late, peace that had turned into vengeance.

  


“Miss?” The cab driver asked me, and I took a deep breath to shove the card back into my wallet. I gave him a guilty look as I pulled out a twenty and handed it to him, telling him to keep the change. I hasilty pulled my bags out and watched him drive away before getting myself sorted out. I wiped my face and darted to the entrance of the airport. I'd ditched the .9mm in a trashcan after scrubbing it clean in my daze after I woke up. I let people pass me by as my body came to halt before the door. I felt suddenly over encumbered and I wanted to scream. I can't stay, but I had no where to go. Sure, there were places to go, but I didn't know where I belonged. The only place I'd felt remotely calm and safe was the little time I'd spent with Wade.

  


Unlike last time, there was no relief or understanding. I just felt like a buoy on the ocean. Bobbing along without purpose or destination. Just hoping to wash ashore somewhere. Then it hit me, I would go somewhere with an ocean front view, but not Espenada. Maybe Brazil? Or Belize? Brazil seemed nice, plenty of places to disappear into. No way would anyone expect me there. Right when I decided I would step forward and grab the handle on the glass door, someone cleared their throat. I turned my head and seen a man not much taller than I, suited up in black with pale skin and combed over black hair. My blood suddenly ran cold.

  


He smiled and ran his hand over his jacket, before settling his arms to his side.

  


“Ms. Crown, I was wondering if I might have a moment of your time before you decide on which flight you're taking out of New York.”

  


I feel my stomach roll, my eyes dart around and I see we're not alone. There's more men standing casually in different positions, and a few waiting next to a black Escalade. I realize I really don't have much of an option. My hands shake but I take a deep breath and force myself to speak.

  


“Looks like I don't have much of a choice.” The man chuckled and motioned to a near by bench. I walked over to it and sat down, letting my bags drop beside me. The man followed suit, but not before unbuttoning his suit jacket before sitting. He pulled out a card with a number and no name. Non descriptive. My instincts were tell me to run like hell.

  


“It has come to our attention from a mutual contact that you're inquiring about the Weapon X project.” I just tried to remain impassive as he went on. “Your father's death was a tragic occurrence that keeps repeating itself. But, with having no viable resources at your disposal, I take it that it's been hard for you to do anything about it.” He paused and chuckled to himself again, “well, you did manage to find you a mercenary.” He paused and looked around, then up at the sky. I wondered if one of the goons would have provided him an umbrella if we weren't under the canopy of the airport entrance. “Which is impressive, you're very resourceful within your means Ms. Crown.” I winced, worried suddenly about Wade.

  


“What do you want?” I bluntly asked, and the suit shrugged and smiled.

  


“I represent a company who are willing to give you means to get justice for your family.” He paused again, motioning to the parked vehicle. “We do our research, we only reach out to those who want to do something. People like you who are wanting to do better, be better. We, Ms. Crown, can make you better.” He sounded like a damn door to door salesman. Looked like it to, but I couldn't help but wonder. It was too good to be true, and I guess my face gave me away because he leaned in a little closer and had the gull to touch my hand.

  


“You have been running for a long time, Tia. You lost your father and your mother. You can't find home because it was snatched from you. I know how painful that is waking up without purpose. Trust me, please. We want to help. If you come with us, we will help get you the information you want. We will help you take down those who took everything from you. We're training people and making them better. Making them super...” He trailed off and motioned for one of the men who were standing closer to us. The other suit nodded and walked up to us casually, he stood tall as a mountain, soaked to the bone.

  


“This is Alphonse, he was lost too. We helped him find his purpose, we also made him better.” The man snapped his fingers and Alphonse held out his hand, seeming to create fire out of nothing. A shiver ran down my spine and I felt my mouth open. Al was a mutant.

  


“He's a mutant.” I stated, and the man nodded and motioned for him to resume his position.

  


“Wasn't always. We made him better.” I blinked and looked at all the surrounding men.

  


“Are they?”

  


“Yes. All of them were once normal men, and when we found them and gave them the same offers, they took us up on it.” His eyes were boring into me as I felt the wheels turning in my head. This was surely a trap of some sort, but this was the closest I've ever gotten to figuring out what my father had been killed for. And before I knew better, I already knew what I was going to do.

  


“What's the catch? I mean, no way you're offering me all this without a catch.” I crossed my arms and sat back, ready to hear it. The suit nodded, leaning back himself and mirroring me. He stopped smiling and let out a deep breath.

  


“You're smart.” I groaned and held my hand up.

  


“Seriously, cut the shit and be straight forward with me.” My mouth was pursed and I was giving him my best serious look. It must have worked because he nodded once and leaned in a little closer, but still giving me my space.

  


“You work for us by contract of three years minimum, no questions asked. Then between jobs you get to pursue your own agenda. Our resources at your disposal.” He looked at his nails like a priss, but when he met my gaze he was stone cold serious. “We only make this offer once, and if you turn it down we will never bother you again. It's your call.”

  


I sat there, mulling it over and watching people enter and leave the airport. Wade's words were echoing in my head.

  


_“Please don't go looking for trouble, Princess.”_

  


Then just like that, I knew I was about to dive head first into trouble. I only had myself, really. He had Vanessa, and if something happened to me he wouldn't be there to rescue me. I was alone, and I had make my own decisions. So, I licked my lips and looked back at the suit.

  


“Keep talking, you've got my attention.”

  


 

 

  



	2. Four Days, 15 hours and 35 seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I finally figured out how to add chapters. *awkward laughter*

**Warehouse, Outside of New York City**

 

_**Two Days Later** _

 

  


I felt too exposed, so I continued tugging down the hospital gown. My palms were clammy and my bottom lip was raw from biting it so much. I was constantly reminding myself why I had agreed to this. My father and mother. My green eyes were darting around the crude space, trying not to focus on the screams and cries of people who'd also chosen to become 'special' and 'more'. I had thrown up everything in my stomach an hour ago when a mousy man escorted me through the warehouse. The smells and the states of some, it was just too much.

  


But I had pressed on and now I am just waiting for whoever is supposed to see me. More tugging, more sweating, more cold chills. I've only seen places like this in horror films. Rusted pipes and dirty stained concrete with state of the art tech. It was a horrific sight. I was told to relax and encouraged to sit on the perfectly clean gurney. I couldn't sit still so I chose to stand. I felt my skin prickle when I heard the even footfalls coming right towards me. I looked towards the bottom of the curtains what allowed me the illusion of privacy from the rest of the occupants. A set of nice black boots came to a stop, then an echoing pair stopped. Also boots, more slender, dirtier.

  


Suddenly the curtain was yanked back and I jumped, hands clutching my gown and hoping I was covered well enough. My eyes met the placid blue ones of a very attractive man. His cheek bones were sharp, strong chin and very short dark hair. My lungs seized up as he stood still and assessed me like I was doing to him. Underneath the long lab coat was a very tight black tee shirt and form fitting dark jeans. But I met his eyes again, noting the cold calculation I seen there. He was abstract of mind, a doer without must remorse. My stomach lurched.

  


“Ms. Crown, please take a seat.” He said calmly, tilting his head and motioning to the gurney. I took a few steps backwards and lifted myself up. He was English. The material covering the plastic protected pad on it was cold and my skin broke out in goose bumps. There was then movement to his left and I spotted who belonged to the second set of black boots. A woman with a hard face and a stylish long bob was staring me down. Her brown eyes were like his, cold. But she seemed almost bored and the match stick between her lips was hard to miss. She looked like a body guard, her black cargo pants and her tight long sleeved black shirt. Her arms were solid and I knew she'd knock probably anyone on their ass.

  


“How are you feeling? A little nervous?” The man spoke, now directly in front of me and pulling out a pen light. I could only nod and he gave a brief answering nod. “That's to be expected.” Quickly he gently gripped my chin and tilted my face up to him so that he could check my eyes. When he was done with that, he pulled out a stethoscope. Without invitation, he pulled down one shoulder of my gown until my chest was almost fully exposed. My hands shot up to keep my decency, and I sucked in a quick breath in when the cold metal touched the skin above my sternum. I didn't miss the small smirk on his face. I gritted my teeth.

  


“Do you talk, or are you mute Ms. Crown?” He asked snarkily, adjusting the instrument closer to my heart. He glanced at his watch as he listened. Made a 'hmm' sound and took a step closer to me. I leaned back away from him, but his hand came around to my back and held the stethoscope to my back. I straitened some and tried not to glare too much.

  


“Yeah I speak.” I mumbled and had to turn my face away from him, his face was no more than a few inches from mine. He hovered there, moving the metal around on my back and counting on his watch. I tried to calm myself down and breath deeply. After a few more seconds he pulled away and wrapped the stethoscope back around his neck. I took the opportunity to cover myself back up. The woman pulled a chair up for him and he sat without even looking back at her or a thanks.

  


“Good, because I find mutes rather dull.” His eyes held mine as he pulled out a note pad from his coat pocket. He flipped a few pages and read something before returning his full attention to me. “My name is Ajax. I run this fine establishment, was once a patient here.” The British man paused before flipping a small page. “It was brought to my attention you will be under my contract personally, like Angel here.” He jerked his head towards the woman who was standing by the curtain. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and nodded.

  


“Yeah, the one guy said it was for three years and I'd be able to-”

  


“Use our assets to find out information regarding your late father's murder.” Ajax finished for me. He was starting to look bored as he put the pad of paper away and stood.

  


“Yeah.” I answered him, watching as Angel wheeled in a sterile tray of vials and syringes. The man began filling syringes and plugging up clear tubes to a wall mounted machine next to me. Angel then brought in an IV stand and two drip bags. My heart rate began climbing again. When Ajax was done and set up, he placed his hand on my shoulder and nudged me to lay down. I adjusted my gown and laid down.

  


“I will tell you now, Ms. Crown, if you go back on the agreement I will make life very hard for you. I am not a pleasant person to anger or disappoint.” He said this with a mischievous smile as he banded my left arm in preparation for the IV. I chewed my bottom lip and wanted to be snarky back to him, but he wasn't Wade. This wasn't a hospital and I can see my personal rights as an American mean nothing here. So I nodded. “Good girl.” He wiped my skin with an alcohol swab and lined up the IV needle. I inhaled as he jabbed it in and got it right on the first try.

  


“What's the orange stuff?” I asked him as he held up the syringe, needle up, and flicked the bubbles to the top before pressing them out.

  


“This is a serum that will attach to any mutant genes you have in your DNA. Most people have them, they just aren't dominant.” He studied it closely and I watched as the last of the little bubbles was pushed out. My heart was hammering in my chest and the acid in my stomach was just boiling. I had to put on a brave face, needed to look strong. But as he brought it close to the tube to inject it in, I flinched.

  


“How bad does it hurt?” I asked softly, close to a whimper. Ajax stopped and gave me a very serious look.

  


“It burns as it travels through your body. Then after a few hours it settles down and then we will start the hard part.” Those piercing blue eyes of his were telling no lies and I remembered how he'd said he'd been a patient here. My legs moved with my nerves when he noticed. “Angel, secure her.” Then like a shadow she was looming over me as she quickly began strapping me to the gurney. I felt the blood drain from my face.

  


“Is this necessary?” I asked, panic rising in my chest as I was rendered motionless. The last strap was added around my throat and I jerked. A warm hand pushed the hair out of my face as Ajax leaned in as Angel stepped back. He stroked my temple a few times, as if he was trying to pretend to care.

  


“You will thrash and could hurt yourself. You need to be in good health when the next phase begins.” With that he pulled away and stuck the needle into the drip. My eyes widened as it slowly mocked me, creeping itself down towards my vein.

  


“What's phase two?” My forehead was sweating and so were my palms. Ajax plucked the empty syringe on the sterile tray and pushed it towards Angel. He jerked his head towards the curtain. Without argument, she took the supplies and left us alone. My eyes glanced back at the IV, it was getting closer. Ajax leaned against the gurney and pulled a mint out of his pants pocket, popping it in.

  


“The serum wakes your mutated genes up, so to speak. But, we need to activate them. The quickest way that we've found was putting the body under extreme stress.” He swished the candy in his mouth around. “We will start you with less stressful tests, then if those don't work...” He trailed off and I looked at the tube. It was an inch away. “We take it up a level, and so on until you mutate.” Ajax gave me a smile as I looked back, seeing the orange funnel down into the needle and disappear under the tape securing it to my skin.

  


“What if I don't?” I said a little louder as I felt a tingle settle in around the needle in my arm. Ajax went very still, before shrugging and biting into the candy. I heard the crunch and his eyes looked menacing.

  


“Then you'll die.” My heart rate was already very fast, and the burning was starting to settle in. I tightened my fists and strained against my binds. The man grinned at me as my muscles started to spasm, causing my body to jerk and shake. Tears were filling my eyes, I was on fire. It was charring everything under my skin. I couldn't focus, I could only hear my gasps which were slowly turning into screams. But before the serum completely twisted my consciousness, I remember seeing those cold blue eyes hovering above me. I remember his calm voice, breath hitting my face.

  


“Don't disappoint me, Ms. Crown.”

  


  


  


Four Days, 15 hours and 35 seconds. That's how long it took.

  


My dirty feet were hanging about five inches from the floor, arms numb from being suspended so long. There were wide, thick leather binds around my wrists to prevent my skin from breaking. I was swinging side to side as I struggled to stay conscious. I could feel drool dripping out of my sore mouth, it was mixed with blood as it dripped onto the sports bra Angel had helped me into a few days ago after the serum. Luckily it was black and the stains were hard to see. Blood usually made ugly dark brown stains that never went away. My exposed skin was tingling as the chilly air in the old warehouse showers. The tile floor was cracked and filled with residue and grime. The lights were shotty and the shadows danced in here.

  


Ajax was taking a water break, sitting down in a fold out chair he'd brought in here to 'rest'. I was just so tired and sore, I felt how heavy my eyelids were. I have no idea how long I've been awake, but my body ached. My mind was slipping. My ears were ringing. My head throbbed. I gave up trying to hold my head up, my neck was too sore from straining against my pride. So now, I just stared down my body to the flood. Angel had also put me in a tight pair of exercise shorts. They hardly seemed decent, but they covered me enough. I could care less about them now, not giving a horses ass if the bottom of my butt cheeks were hanging out.

  


Like most other times when my body had taken enough, I felt the familiar draw of darkness. I shuddered as my muscles were going completely limp and my shoulders were straining in their sockets.

I wanted to cry, desperate for relief.

  


“Ah ah ah, sweetheart.” Ajax's voice pulled me back, bringing a dry sob up from my chest. His hand grabbed the hair at the crown of my head and yanked backwards. I whimpered as he forced me to look at him. More blood and saliva dripped past my lips. His eye brow rose, something he did a lot when he was trying to decide how he should 'feel' about something. We'd spent a lot of 'quality time' together these past couple days. Ajax told me his mutation fried his nerve endings and he could no longer feel pain, or anything emotional. He was a living, breathing machine. The knowledge scared me more than anything else. If he didn't feel anything then it would be too easy for him to hurt me, or anyone. No pain, no regret, no nothing.

  


“C'mon, love.” He whispered as he made sure my head stayed back, letting go and placing his hands on my hips. I groaned and felt his thumbs running absently back and forth over bruised skin. “We've electrocuted you, water-boarded you, gassed you...you're just a little gem aren't ya?” His smile was humored as he pulled me quickly into his front. Suspended like this, I was just about eye level. I wheezed as Ajax slowly began skimming his right hand up my stomach. He hummed to himself, it sounded like a nursery rhyme. I forced the bile down in my throat, feeling his hand stop just under my sports bra. The tune slowed down as he took one finger and started playing peek a boo with the underside of my sports bra. My heart rate was rising as the idea of him taking advantage of me. I was secure and he'd never get a better chance.

  


I closed my eyes, trying to escape before a loud crack knocked my brain around in my skull. I groaned as Ajax grabbed my jaw. The left side of it was stinging before the throbbing kicked in.

  


“Look at me!” He barked, and my eyes shot open. It took a moment to focus, but when I found his icy blue eyes staring back into mine, he smiled. “There she is, my beautiful girl.” His voice dropped down a few octaves and he bit his lower lip. My green eyes had seen it, unknowingly mimicking him. His head tilted as he cracked his neck. Then hand below my bra slithered over it and to my throat. I'm sure he felt my pulse pounding away at my veins. His other hand on my hip twitched as he pulled me flush against him. Ajax's breath was fanning down my chest as he buried his face into the side of my face.

  


“I'm going to hit you some more, Crown.” He said slowly, letting his lips trail over my cheek. “Then I'm going to take the knife in my pocket and start slowly carving my name in that beautiful stomach of yours.” His teeth then suddenly snapped close to my ear, making me flinch. The hand on my throat tightened, and his tongue licked at the tear streaks closest to where his face was. “Then I'm going to lick the blood as it trails down...” He ended mid sentence as the hand on my hip moved. He hooked his index finger into the waist band of my shorts, then tugged them down just an inch on the one side. I shivered with fear and he placed a stubbly kiss to my jaw. “I'll remove these so I won't waste a drop, sweetheart.”

  


The idea of what he was implying made my skin crawl and I felt myself becoming more aware. I grunted, tightening my arms to make it easier for me to push against him with my legs. It was a pathetic effort, but it lit a fire in his eyes. Shit. He was excited now.

  


“Good girl.” He praised me, as he withdrew from me completely. I wanted to brace, but nothing could stop the pain that rippled through me struck me in my side. I felt the yelp get caught in my throat, making it sound like a wet gurgle. Then there was another strike, and another. I lost count as he started wailing into me. My body was screaming, muscles were burning from the gravity pulling me down. Then with a particularly savage punch to my shoulder, I felt a pop and white hot pain as my shoulder disconnected. A scream ripped from me as he shook his head with satisfaction.

  


“That must hurt.” He taunted, walking around me and hitting me some more. With each jerk and swing, my left shoulder throbbed and made weird sounds as the joint flirted with the socket.

  


“Fuck!” I gasped as he slowed down before stopping to get him another drink. I was wheezing and my face was wet with tears. This time, Ajax held the water to my mouth and forced some water down my throat. It was a small mercy, reminding me how parched I truly was. Despite his amusement at the sounds I was making as he trickled water in past my split lips, I could see the frustration in his posture. His army green tee shirt and relaxed fit jeans didn't hide his body language too well. When te bottle was empty, he recapped it and set it down on the chair.

  


“You are something else, Ms. Crown.” He spoke, giving a sigh and digging into his pocket. I groaned as he withdrew a very sharp looking pocket knife. My clenched my teeth and whimpered as he let the blade glint in the light above us. “I sharpen this knife quite often, it's very sharp.” To prove his point, he ran the blade against the hair growth on his arm. The hair cut as if it was done with a proper razor. His lips split into a smile as he crosses his arms, tapping the bade to his lips. My breathing was becoming more ragged, shoulder screaming. At this point I wish he'd just kill me.

  


“I wonder how you'll taste.” He pondered, sounding sincerely curious. “Probably like Daddy issues and broken dreams.” Ajax chuckled again and I growled, watching through now one less swollen eye. Again, he was right in front of me. His breath fanning over my face as he slowly ran the blunt side of the blade up and down my stomach. “Never has a female candidate lasted this long, hell, even Angel broke in two days.” He confessed as his head tilted again and his eyes caught mine. His brows furrowed, probably trying to dissect what he was seeing there. I figured it was pain or exhaustion, because both were practically over taking my mind now. But he just licked his lips and used his free hand to gently touch my lips.

  


“You are truly unique, Ms. Crown.” He whispered, before I felt the blade dig into my skin. A violent scream ripped itself from me. My eyes squeezed shut, feeling my vocal chords strain against my dry throat. I shook and tried to fight him, but he held me firmly by my hip. I couldn't tell what he was carving to me exactly, and I didn't care. I just wanted it to stop. He was eerily quiet as he took his time, I couldn't believe his eardrums weren't bursting from the wailing coming from me.

  


This went on for what seemed like forever. When he was done, I was limp and swaying. My mind was numb, voice shot from screaming so much. He took a few steps back and admired his handy work. The thought of his name being etched into my skin forever made me dry heave, but there was nothing left to come up. The knife was dropped down beside the empty bottle. The Brit held up his bloody hand and grinned, before sliding a sticky digit in his mouth. My stomach churned as I watched his tongue lave against his index finger. His eyes opened and held mine as he smiled around it. He withdrew it from between his teeth and lips with a 'pop'.

  


“Like innocence lost and a hint of sweat.” Ajax licked the remnants off his lips, before he stepped closer to me and dropped his knees in front of me. His face hovered in front of my pelvis before using his fingers to swirl the blood around. “I decided not to do my name, but a crown.” He said absently as he stuck the finger back in his mouth, wet with fresh blood. I could barely feel it creeping down my skin. “Tell me, how did the mercenary take you?” His sudden question cut through all the madness. I went still as I felt his warm tongue flatten against my stinging cut flesh. “Did he take you like a animal, merciless and hard?” He asked. I wanted to knee him in the face but my energy was gone.

  


“Or did he gently lay you down and kiss you in all the no-no area's Mommy told you not to let strangers see or touch?” His mouth was working around to my hip, going off track as his fingers curled into my shorts. “Did he make love to you, treating you like a doll and whispering sweet nothings?” I felt his teeth bite me hard, taking the shorts down a few centimeters. “Did he taste you like this? Did he..”

  


“Shut. Up.” I growled at him with what little energy I had left. Ajax openly laughed, smothering it into my side. He continued on, talking.

  


“I bet he has a pet name for you. Let me guess?” He paused, before licking more blood away. “Was it baby? Babe? Or maybe he's more creative! Pet? Honey bear? Darling?” Each name made me grit my teeth some more, he had no reason to bring Wade up. My good eye was laser focused on him as he continued his minstrations on my skin. “Oh, I know what it is.” He mumbled calmly as he pulled back to look at the crown he'd carved into my skin. I was silently daring him to say it, an anger building in me I could now focus on. Ajax licked his lips cockily as he let one hand drop from my waist band, dragging the one to the very front where he slowly started pulling down. He maintained eye contact as his tongue dipped precariously low. With a horrific pace he licked patiently. I felt my lower muscles contract on their own volition. That only served to further piss me off.

  


_“Princess.”_

  


It was a single worded victory for him. Instantly I seen red. I growled and brought my leg up, planting my heel into his nose. He fell backwards as I roared at him. I tasted blood in my mouth, and didn't feel how my dislocated shoulder moved disjointedly. I screamed and I kicked, trying to free my wrists from their restraints. I was going to kill him! I could hardly focus as I felt a new pain ripple through me and my lungs squeeze. The feeling replaced the soreness in my body with fury as I felt myself coming alive. Everything was distorting around me until I was able to focus back on Ajax. I didn't notice Angel and other guards rushed in. His nose was bleeding and he looked oddly satisfied as I continued screaming at him.

  


I don't know what I said, but I remember wanting to be free to kill him. I remember having so much inside me, it physically hurt to contain it. I wanted eo envelope him like a slow darkness and make him disappear into nothing. Then just like that, I wasn't bound or swinging. I was everywhere at once. Everything sounded muffled as I felt a horrible sense of vertigo. The anger was starting to burn away to embers as my exhaustion level started to raise. I felt strange, watching the others form around Ajax in a circle. Guns were pointed in all directions, they seemed confused. I fought the urge to laugh and puke at the same time. But I focused on that son of a bitch. His blue eyes calm and focused. Then in another heartbeat, I was in front of him, between him and some guards. My left arm unable to move, my vision reverting back to mostly distortion. I wheezed as I focused on his chest, wavering on my feet. I wanted him to hurt, but he wasn't able to feel pain. I wanted to cut him...

  


“SIR!” I heard a man holler before I was tackled to the cold and dirty tile floor. I remember smelling blood and mold, as my arms were yanked behind me and I passed out.

  


4 Days, 15 hours and 35 seconds.

  


That's how long it took for me to break.


	3. Disintegrate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be patient, I promise to include some Wade/Deadpool content soon. I'm trying to build up Tia's story at the moment. I want her to be her own character, with her own story, without having to cling onto the merc for validation. Thank you to everyone who's taking time to read this story. XOXO

 

**Warehouse, New York**

 

_**12 Hours After Mutation** _

 

 

I'm going to take a shot in the dark, and say that this must be what being horribly hungover feels like. Plus all the injuries. I was waking up, and at first the realization hit me like a sledge hammer. I didn't want to wake up and have to go through more 'trials'. It was torture! Trials, my ass. But I was warm, and laying on something cushy. When I opened my eyes finally, noting the unusual quiet. Usually there were screams and groans constantly. My body was aching and my shoulder was stiff and wrapped carefully to my torso. The light was low, and I had no recognition of my surroundings.

 

The bed I was in was at least a king. The covers were dark blues and black, expensive sheets. They felt so soft on my skin. I moved my legs around experimentally, lifting to comforter to see me in fresh clothes. New sports bra, new cotton shorts. All black. I smelled as if I had showered before I'd come to bed, and that made me uneasy. Someone had washed me. I bit back a groan, pushing myself up with my right arm into a sitting position. The room was small, but it seemed like more of an apartment. I seen a dirty window over a sink that belonged to a small kitchenette. A fridge, stove, a small table with two chairs, and an over-under washer and dryer. I spotted a door, assuming it held a bathroom.

 

With that discovery, my bladder screamed at me. I carefully shuffled out of the bed, turning crimson when my legs gave out and I hit the hardwood floor with a loud thump.

 

“Fucking hell!” I hissed, trying to find my balance with my right arm. I was wobbling, almost on my feet when another door opened and bright light poured in. I grunted as my eyes watered and I wanted to jump away from it. The door quickly shut and there were silent steps coming towards me until I felt soft and firm hands help me up.

 

“Are you okay?” A woman asked. I blinked the water out of my eyes, waiting for them to refocus. I hummed a yes, focusing on getting my legs to stop wobbling. “You're still pretty banged up, but you'll be back to normal soon. You're healing very fast.” Her voice sounded somewhat familiar, but I was still confused until I was able to really get a good look at her. I'm sure my gaping mouth gave away my surprise.

 

“Angel?” I asked, suddenly wondering if she was there to take a go at me. She only nodded and adjusted her grip on me, taking on most of my weight.

 

“I'm in charge of making sure your recuperation is properly seen to.” Her voice was softer than normal, granted I'd only heard Angel speak a few times. “Ajax will be here in the morning to talk to you and see where you're at.” The mention of his name made me tense up, and grip Angel's arm tightly.

 

“More tests?” I asked, letting her shuffle me to the bathroom with ease. Damn, she was seriously not struggling what so ever. I knew I wasn't that skinny. Her free hand came out to flip the light on, but the moment she did I let out a scream. It felt like my retinas were being melted in my sockets. Angel quickly shut it off and I felt my whole body shaking. My eyes were watering and tears spilling over. “Jesus!” I groaned, sidestepping and bending over myself in pain.

 

“What happened?” She exclaimed, confused and trying to get me back up straight. She leaned me against the sink and tilted my head up. I couldn't open my eyes, but I could feel the wetness from my tears. Gently, she pried an eye open. My vision was blurry and felt like a film was preventing me from seeing clearly. She made a sound and let my eye shut again. “Your eyes look milky.”

 

“They feel weird.” I muttered, trying to will the throbbing to stop. Silence fell between us, and slowly the pain did start to go away. Within a minute I felt back to normal and was able to see again. Angel gave me some privacy and I was able to use the bathroom and wash my hand off. The woman helped me back to the bed and pulled up a chair.

 

I didn't know much, but I knew I had most definitely changed. But how? The hours before I woke up were hazy and I figured it was probably for the best. I knew I'd been hanging up by my wrists, but the small details were just out of my grip. I sighed, turning my head to face my attendant.

 

“What happened?” My voice sounded more rough, and she shrugged. She pulled out a match and stuck it between her lips. Angel was decked out in her usual black on black. Black long sleeve shirt, black cargos tucked into her boots. Her holster under her arm, gun sitting there comfortably. Her skin was light in the darkness and her black bob looked pretty on her. Angel was Ajax's private muscle, but I had a feeling there was more there than they let on. She was very beautiful and he was very handsome. Sick and twisted, a right prick, but he was handsome.

 

“You mutated.” She simply answered, pulling out her phone and putting her attention on that. I bit my lower lip, ignoring how the thud of pain in my shoulder was starting to annoy me.

 

“But, how?” I asked, not caring how stupid that sounded. After a few more swiped of her phone, she looked up at me.

 

“You disappeared, then you popped up in front of Ajax and slit him open.” Her voice sounded more indifferent than I thought she would delivering such news. I couldn't help the small grin that turned the corners of my lips up. “You were tackled and tranquilized. You've been out ever since, about twelve hours now.” She hummed something as her phone went off and she took a second to text whoever back.

 

“Is he...okay?” I asked, curious. I know he wouldn't have felt it, but he'd be injured non the less. Angel actually guffawed, looking up at me with her brown eyes and smirked.

 

“He's fine.” She gave me this look that I couldn't quite understand, before she plucked the match out of her mouth. “I'm going to be honest here, I have never seen someone survive him like that.” Angel leaned forward in her seat, shaking her head. “Most people change or die within a few days, there's been a few men to go for a while, but never a woman.” Some of the happiness in her face fell before she stuck the match back into her mouth. “I barely lasted two days, and I was a tough bitch.”

I gave her a small smile.

 

“You're still a tough bitch, you scare me.” I said for her benefit, granted it was totally true. Angel gave me another small smile, before leaning back and motioning to me.

 

“You should rest some more. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”

 

I groaned but obeyed, feeling a little more at ease with the woman who had super strength. I felt safe in thinking she didn't want to kill me.

 

Thank God.

 

 

 

 

**Next Morning**

 

 

“Hello, sweetheart.” The British accent sent a cold chill through me as I managed to pull my head through my shirt enough to see him standing in the doorway. For the past few minutes I have been struggling with a simple white tee shirt. My left arm being bound made this an extremely challenging chore. My hair was sticking up in every which way, my midriff being on full display. I was more covered than I had been a few days ago. The memories of what had transpired between us had been slowly coming back since I woke up. Angel had woke me up with a small, light breakfast and a protein shake. To keep my strength, she'd said.

 

Now here he was, as promised. I tried to ignore him, wanting to get this damn shirt on. I also tried to ignore him as he walked up and took the initiative to help me get it on. I sighed, feeling him towering over me from behind. I turned, giving him a nod in thanks and making my way towards the bed to sit down. Angel had drawn the curtains tight on the one window above the sink for me. Ajax looked smug as he sat in Angel's chair. He put his elbows on his knees and intertwined his fingers together.

 

“How do you feel?” I resisted the urge to punch him with my good hand. Instead, I rolled my eyes.

 

“Like I've been through hell for four days.” The man nodded, and sat back, twiddling with his hands.

 

“I'd imagine so, but your healing rate is outstanding compared to a normal person. Seems as if your mutation has accelerated healing factors. But, those factors are only really accelerated when you're in the darkness or shade. While you were out we tested your skin under different variations of light.” Then out of no where, he pulled out that same little note pad. Ajax flipped pages for a moment before tapping his finger on the page.

 

“And?” I asked, desperate to know.

 

“You're completely vulnerable in sunlight. Your skin reddens and blisters within minutes, but artificial light doesn't have the effect on your skin. Your eyes though, they are instantly fried. I'll need to order you some contact lenses for you to wear. You'll need special clothing, but we'll get to that later.” He got himself back on tract, seemingly getting more and more into business mode. This Ajax I could tolerate. When the man was focused, and wasn't trying to hurt me, he was very intelligent. Concise. “Somehow, you're able to disappear into darkness. I seen you do it, and it was extremely impressive. You'll need guidance, which I will help you with.”

 

I was dumbstruck, wondering how the hell I was supposed to disappear. I felt my gaze on him becoming unfocused as I tried remembering what had happened when I'd done it before.

 

“Do you remember anything about it?” Ajax asked, and I rubbed my face with my right hand as I sighed.

 

“I'm trying to remember it. But, the only thing I remember is feeling very disoriented and sick to my stomach.”

 

“That can be expected, most feel nausea when they transition.” He was so matter of fact. He tapped on the paper, thinking. I was silent as I was trying to remember anything. But when I made peace that my brain just wasn't ready to give up the goods yet, I just hashed over what he'd told me. Vulnerable to sunlight? The gravity of that sank in and I felt my heart breaking. I loved the sun shine. I loved going out and feeling the warmth on my skin. There was nothing like diving on a reef in the afternoon, seeing all the bright colors....

 

“Are you going to be sick again, Crown?” My green eyes met his and I felt another shiver. Crown. Involuntarily, my right hand slid under my shirt and touched the raised cluster of scars there. It was just below my sternum. I'd noticed it this morning, a healed depiction of a crown. It had made me angry, but I decided it wasn't worth dwelling on. At least it wasn't a dick or something more stupid.

 

“Ah, yes. Seems as if that healed up quite nicely.” Ajax paid no mind to me as he pushed me onto my back and tugged my shirt up. His blue eyes raked over my skin and he traced the scar with his index finger. I clenched my jaw shut, glaring at him. “Made clean and even cuts, it healed nicely. The scars aren't too thick and discolored.” When he was done smoothing over his handiwork, his eyes met mine and he smiled widely. “Some pay a lot of money for a good scarification, you got yours for free.”

 

“Funny.” I seethed, as he tugged my shirt back down and left me on my own to sit up. Asshole.

 

“It was necessary, you weren't changing. I was losing my patience.” He stated simply, as if it were obvious. I blinked a few times and decided to let that go, too. At the end of the day he was my 'boss' now and we'd made a deal. I was his to do with as he pleased for three years, at least he promised to let me use their resources to find out what I could regarding my father's murder. I was starting to relax some. “I'm impressed with you, though.”

 

“How so?” I asked, truly curious how I could impress a man who claims to not feel anything. The Brit smiled and pulled his shirt up to his chest. Across it, red and angry, was a large gash that had been stitched up. It looked as if a wild animal with a single claw had decided to paw at him. It was my turn to smile, I didn't bother to hide it. Ajax let the material drop and he tilted his head to the side.

 

“You did that without moving a muscle. This too will be explored and hopefully managed.” He paused and went on after a deep breath. “If you can inflict harm on someone with only looking at them, that is a very, very expensive service to offer.” And just like that, my stomach dropped. The color must have drained from my face. His eye brows rose. “It's apart of the deal you agreed to. If you are told, you do. Simple. But please don't fret, sweetheart.” Towards the end his voice softened as his hand came out and cupped my face, bringing me closer to him.

 

For a few heart beats our eyes stared the others down. Optical chicken, I suppose. But I didn't look away and neither did he. I wanted to jerk my face away but his hold was firm in warning. I wanted to kick myself for taking the deal, but I was desperate. I had just... I gritted my teeth as brown eyes flashed in my head, lips and teeth, cologne and sweat...

 

No! I didn't want to think about Wade right now. I made a decision and I was going to see it through. This was about me and my own personal vendetta. I had to stand on my own two feet and make due with what I've done.

 

“I don't know how to do anything like that.” I suddenly blurted out. Ajax, looking to be on the brink of a threat, suddenly chuckled and let go of me.

 

“Oh, no need to fret. You'll be trained and won't go out into the field until I know you're ready.” Then oddly enough, I believed him. I was an asset to him now.

 

“I see.” I murmured. I shifted and groaned as my left arm started tingling. I paid no mind to him as his phone range and he stood to speak quietly across the room. I was focused on the white gauze under my shirt. I somehow got my right arm under my shirt and began yanking and growling. Finally, the tape and bandages tore and I began unwinding. Within moments all of it was off and I sighed with relief. My skin was itchy and I carefully scratched, noting how little my skin seemed to be bruised. There were barely any tell tell signs. “Well shit.” I said to myself as I tried moving my arm around.

 

No pain, or anything. My eyes bugged as my lips turned up in a smug smile.

 

“Healed up already?” Ajax asked and I grinned wider.

 

“I suppose.” But still cautiously, I slid my left arm into the sleeve of the tee shirt. To have the restriction gone felt amazing. “That was so annoying.” I stated as I slumped with relief. Ajax tapped his chin with silence, and I watched as he looked me over objectively.

 

“We'll start your training this after noon after I tend to some things. I want to get you on a good regimen, start with the basics and work our way up. You'll need a crash course with firearms and hand to hand, but that will come in time.” He was suddenly all business, and I couldn't do anything more than nod. “I want to keep you close until you're ready to work. You'll me an ace of my sleeve, and a huge payday once you get to where I need you to be.” His blue eyes were cobalt in the dark room. I wrung my fingers in the material of my shirt. My legs came up to cross into Indian style. But swiftly, the seriousness faded some as his mouth twisted into a smirk.

 

“As tantalizing as you look on my bed, I'll have Angel set you up with your own room.” And with that closing statement, he bid me farewell with a nod and shut the door behind him.

 

_Tantalizing._

 

The word echoed through me like a hollow drum. My mouth went dry as I brought my knees up to my chest. It wasn't something often said by many, and it made the back of my neck feel sweaty. My heart felt like it was on a slow decent to my stomach and I concentrated on just remaining clam and breathing. Wade was happy with Vanessa. He gave me one night. So did Vanessa, in a way. Although it was perfect for what it had been, it almost felt like a pity fuck. The words as they swished around in my mind made my mouth taste sour. Had it really been a pity fuck? Maybe Wade felt like he had one last bridge to burn, go out like a champ one last time before settling down.

 

I hadn't noticed the tears in my eyes or my emotional distress until my body had started to tingle and I felt more sensitive. I sucked in a sharp breath, blowing my breath out on my legs as they seemed to darken and shimmer in an odd way. I did it again, this time blowing forcefully. My eyes widened as I watched my legs seemingly disintegrate into the darkness. It didn't hurt, just felt tingly as I focused on giving totally into that sensation. After a few minutes, I was too busy thinking about me to worry anymore about Wade or the hardships ahead for me. Particle by particle I was breaking down and slipping into the darkest parts of the the room. I could feel the coolness and an energy I'd never noticed before. The feeling of vertigo wasn't disorienting this time, and I felt everything else just slip away.


	4. Protect the Comrade Pt 1

**Warehouse, New York**

 

**_Four Months Later_**

 

 

So, I have learned some interesting things about myself up to this point.

 

First being that I can dissipate into darkness totally. Seriously, I am a fucking ghost.

 

Second thing, I have gotten a little better at tolerating artificial light with my eyes. It burns like hell for a minute or so, and I have to keep a handkerchief to dab with, but I can do it. But it's creepy as hell, even to me. In light my eyes turn this milky, phlemy green color. My eyes look as if they belong to the dead.

 

Third thing is that I have the ability to manipulate the body. If it has a heart beat, I can 'touch' it. I can slice and dice tissue, stop a heart, decrease the oxygen flow to your lungs...scary stuff. I'm not happy about the position my mutations put me in, but it is what it is. This alone makes me priceless to Ajax. He wishes I had the ability to control the mind, but I think that would be overkill.

 

Forth is something that I had already figured out, I heal much quicker in the darkness. I am the polar opposite of photosynthesis! This is a weakness during the day, or in areas well lit. But, night fall always comes eventually and there is usually a dark place everywhere. I could also see in total darkness, but my vision isn't so sharp in the light. I suppose there has to be some give and take. All and all, I feel like a bad ass.

 

The past four months have been nothing but training. If it's not working on my mutation, it's combat training. If not that, then it's battlefield tactics. Field medic basics. Negotiations training, weapon operations, defensive driving... I was starting to feel as if my mind couldn't absorb anything else. My body was seeing the benefits though. What little baby fat I had left over had given away to firm muscle and a toned physique. Angel was always forcing meal plans on me and shoving supplements down my throat. But as much as I hate the chalky drinks and bland foods, I love my body. I was quick and agile, only falling on my face sometimes instead of all the time now.

 

Surprisingly, I had formed a friendship with the older woman. I roomed across from her now, and she made sure I was up everyday and ate appropriately. Angel ran me through my paces and when I managed to exceed her expectations, she would high five me and smile. It felt weird though, making home of sorts with these people. I found out that Ajax was running a lucrative business of supplying foot soldiers, but I had kind of figured that already. I. Myself, was in training for hire through 'The Company'. But like the boss had said, he was keeping me close until he was absolutely sure.

 

He had become sure yesterday.

 

“Have you read the client's file?” Ajax asked from his place at his desk. His blue eyes were scanning other files and papers, flipping mindlessly through stacks. I held the file folder in my hands and took a few steps towards the desk, opening it and tapping the places I'd highlighted last night before bed.

 

“Yeah, I was hoping you could clear some details up with me though?” I asked, tone strictly as business like as I could manage. Ajax was a business man who loved money, but he loved picking people apart too. He'd taken a step back from his quips and actions towards me that weren't strictly employer/employee orientated. It was a relief, but every now and then he'll get bored and decide to pester me for a few days. It was always a subtle hint or an obscene observation. But he was eyeball deep in business opportunities right now.

 

“Sure, what's the issues?” He finally looked up and cracked his neck. I flipped it around and set it on top of his pile, careful not to knock anything off.

 

“The client, he's a high profile political figure from Russia.” I stated, before continuing. “It say's he's needing a 24/7 guard detail for the week of a small council meetings regarding expenditures and such.” I watched him nod, sigh. “There would be room detail, travel, itinerary plans..” I licked my lips and crossed my arms across my chest. “And most of these activities are during the day time. It also seems to me as if he's almost 100% certain there will be an attempt made on his life! And who's gunning for this guy anyways? Like, how much of an asshole is this-” My voice rose quite high, and I quickly put it in check.

 

“And?” He deadpanned, looking up to me, folding his hands with impatience over his desk. I was trying not to feel like too much of an idiot.

 

“You're sending only me for all this?” I finally confessed, then I seen his face softened marginally. It was no secret that I was extremely anxious about my first contract since I've come here. It was important I was successful, because then I would get a week to focus on getting my investigation off the ground regarding my father. The British man leaned back in his chair and seemed to melt against it in a way only he could make seem intimidating.

 

“It's not as complicated as it sounds.” Ajax started to explain. “You basically keep an eye on him at all times. Stay by his side, do what you've been taught. Of course you won't be alone, he's got a few thugs that stay by close to make sure he'd got firepower to answer someone else.” With the grace of a lion, he rose to his feet and came around the desk. He was wearing one of those dark green tee shirts again, black cargo pants and his boots. His guns were in their holsters on the far end of his desk. Slowly he crossed his arms over his chest and I ignored the way the fabric went taught as his muscles flexed. I unconsciously moved away from him to give myself enough personal space.

 

“As for who is after 'this asshole', as you so eloquently put it, is not totally our concern. Your mission objective is to keep him alive. That's all. ” The man shrugged his shoulders as if it was the simplest thing in the world. I clenched and relaxed my jaw, sighing again and reaching for the file. I shut it rolled it up into my right hand. It was quiet for a second before Ajax motioned to my eyes. “How're the contacts?” I blinked a few times before nodding and giving him a casual small smile.

 

“Great, actually. They do a good job at blocking out most of the sharp light. I can still see okay, and it's not as bothersome as the glasses.” I took a moment to meet his gaze so he could check them out. They made me look like I had deep brown eyes, and were indeed much better than the huge goggle like glasses we'd experimented with. They had gotten in the way and messed with my periphery vision.

 

“They look good, I'd prefer to see your green eyes though.” He said it as if he were speaking of the weather. No smile or emotion on his face, just a stated fact.

 

“Yeah but without them in the light, I'd look like I'm possessed or something. I'd terrify people.” I couldn't help the chuckle that came out of me. I had spooked plenty of the assistants and clients that had been coming and going. I'd even taken him off guard once or twice with randomly popping out of 'nowhere'. It made me deeply happy I could startle him, considering everything he's put me through since I agreed to be apart of this. With my good mood floating around in the air, Ajax gave a small grin.

 

“Oh! That reminds me.” He spoke suddenly and walked back around to his desk and unlocked a drawer. I tucked the file under my arm and watched, curious. Ajax pulled out a super small envelope. He opened it and turned it down into his palm. Metallic clinks sounded through the air as he came back to stand in front of me. I immediately recognized what he held. All his 'employees' had a set of these. I'd been wondering if I was going to get a set. “Here ya go.” Ajax spoke, before stretching out the chain and slipping it past my pony tail.

 

I used my left hand to pick up one of the dog tags, and I had to fight my look of confusion. Ajax picked up on it and tapped the small metal plate in my hand.

 

“Nyx” He said thoughtfully, pronouncing it as 'nicks'. “In Greek mythology, Nyx was the goddess of Night.” I thought it over for a moment and nodded, rolling the name around in my head. It sounded mysterious and deadly. But, it was also a beautiful name.

 

“Sounds mysterious.” I mumbled before letting the tag drop, tucking them both inside my black tee shirt. Ajax winked at me before he checked his watch, I didn't miss the way his lips suddenly shifted into a frown.

 

“Well, you are now a goddess of the night. Mystery makes you alluring, darling.” Ajax gave me a side glance and sighed, before grabbing his holstered guns and slipping them on. “Business calls, make sure you are ready in the morning. Angel will help you prepare and go over all mission plans. Representative Alkaev will be waiting to receive you at his home in Samara.” Ajax was back to all business. He yanked up his leather jacket off the back of his chair and began shrugging into it. “You only need to make sure he doesn't die. That's all. If it goes bad, you know what to do.” He was trying to giving the best hurried pep talk I could expect out of him.

 

“Alright, I guess I'll see you when I get back next week.” I spoke then, choosing to make my exit. I seen the light go out as he turned it off. I got to the door before he caught up with me, grabbing my right arm and turning me to face him. His voice dropped and his eyes looked neutral. That strong jaw of his tightened.

 

“You are doing a job and keeping up your end of our deal.” He said lowly, to where it almost sounded like a growl. I felt my spine tingling and the urge to disappear into the shadow of his office, I focused on not allowing myself to. His hand came up to rest on the frame beside my head, he leaned in slightly. My eyes were met with his. It was uncomfortable as it was suddenly intriguing. “But, if something so unimaginable happens where you have no absolute idea about what to do..” The older man trailed off and I took a deep breath.

 

“Yeah?” It came out sounding breathier than I meant, and I didn't do too good of a job hiding my wince. Ajax inhaled sharply and angled his body to where his hip slightly brushed against my side. I felt my face warm, he took a long look down the hallway that connected all our rooms. There was nobody around. Shit. As his eyes trailed the length of the hallway he finished speaking.

 

“Instead of getting yourself seriously hurt, you get yourself out.” Ajax growled in an assertive way which did more confusing things to me. I just nodded and sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth. It was a nervous habit which seemed to like to get me in trouble. His blue eyes flickered down to my mouth and he unconsciously licked his lips. He moved his hand fractionally and I felt his thumb catch the skin right below my ear. He swiped it back and forth a few times, before pushing himself up and going on his way.

 

I couldn't move for a few moments, trying to get myself under control. What the holy fuck was that? I shuddered and gripped the file hard in my hands. I felt as if I wanted to punish myself and put myself in a cold shower at the same time. My body was tingling and I needed to calm the hell down. High emotional stress made my body want to shift into the darkness, in order to reach a calm. But I could usually keep a grip on it. But there has been a few times during training where I was overcome, too tired to focus, and before I'd know it...Angel or Ajax would be shouting at me to 'un-ghost' myself.

 

As soon as I could think straight, I straightened myself up and went to find Angel to discuss my mission plans and then get my packing finished up.

 

 

 

 

**Samaras, Russia**

 

_**18 Hours Later** _

 

The flight had gone easily enough. I was put onto a private jet and flown over by myself, a courtesy of Devki Alkaev. I was fed and even able to sleep. It was quite luxurious. My attire was as professional as I could manage while protecting myself from the sun. Form fitting black pants with polished shoes, a nice white button up white shirt and black jacket. I had thin leather gloves and a black scarf which wrapped around my head. I was able to pull it over my face if needed. Angel had mentioned it made me look classic, shy Hollywood. I had grinned at her before adding my sunglasses to my ensemble. IT was also nondescript and modest. I would blend better.

 

When we had landed, I was met with with a black SUV and a translator. He was a old, gray man who was shorter than me. His manor was brisk and was adamant to hurry. It was just after midnight, so I was able to be rid of my scarf and jacket on the way to Alkaev's property. After we had arrived, everything seemed to go by really quickly. I was introduced to his security team, all of which spoke fairly decent English. All ex military, big bodied with egos to match. These guys have spent years in service of Alkaev and I could cut the tension in the air with a knife. I pulled out plans and laid them out on their pool table which was being purposed as 'the table'.

 

We spent hours planning escape routes and discussing options and threatening vantage points an enemy could use against Alkaev. It was all cut and dry security detail. I was going to make sure to thank Angel and the others at the Warehouse for drilling me for hours with this stuff. By the time the representative woke up, we were all suited up and waiting for orders. I changed into identical tact that his men wore. All dark green woodland camo with black boots and hats. Mine wasn't beret style like theirs, but a plain black baseball cap. It offered me better protection from the sun when I would have to remove my scarf. My hands were in black gloves and my thighs had pistols strapped to the outside of each. The tallest of the men, Erik, handed me a ridiculously large knife. My eyes went wide as I helf the heavy thing up.

 

His laughter cut through all the serious tension in the room, before he spun me around and began clipping it's sheath into the back of my pants. I held still as he made adjustments and pulled my camo uniform jacket back over to cover it when he was done.

 

“Now you will be ready.” He said with his serious accent and I nodded, patting him on his massive bicep.

 

“Thank you, Erik.” I said, hearing the door open and the older man whom I immediately recognized from my file. Devki Alkaev was a medium height man who looked like he never slept enough. His short gray and black hair was thinning and his nose was too big for his face. But his most noticeable trait was his small, black eyes. They were cold and made me uncomfortable as they swept over me.

 

“Nyx?” He barked, and I nodded. I took a few steps in his direction and extended my hand towards him.

 

“Hello, sir.” There was an awkward moment before he decided to shake my hand. All the other guys had gone quiet before Alkaev started speaking in Russian. I felt out of place, not knowing what was being said. To my horror, the men immediately stopped their weapons prep and walked out. I was stuck there alone with this man, who was apart of the Communist party. I'm sure he's about as clean natured as the underside of a farmer's boot. He took a moment to look at all the weapons and and then back to me, adjusting his shirt and tie.

 

“You have special ability, yes?”

 

“Yes sir.” I answered, resolute not to show him anything but self assurance. His mouth screwed up tight for a moment, before he looked me up and down again.

 

“You will protect me, as I paid for?” I raised an eyebrow at his question and tapped one of the .40's on my thighs.

 

“If the guns don't do the job, then my 'special abilities' will, sir.” And just like that, he gave a curt nod and barked for the rest of the men. They filed in and finished getting prepared for the long week ahead of us, traveling various cities before the meeting in Moscow.

 

 

**Six Days Into Mission: PROTECT THE COMRADE**

 

We've been in Moscow for three hours and already we were on high alert. I was struggling with the sun, feeling more lethargic and trying to stay sharp. Alkaev was inside a secured room, and Erik and I were posted outside the door with members of the other representative's security details. We were all very quiet as the minutes ticked by. We were all synced up on the same channel with out ear pieces and radios. We'd been given a joint plan of execution in case something happened on a mass scale. But at the end of the day, we were all responsible for our own 'packages'. I was standing directly next to Erik, who was comfortable alert and passive. I tried, but couldn't fight my yawn.

 

His brown eyes glanced down at me over his massive shoulder muscle. The corner of his lips quirked up, barely moving his mustache and beard. I noticed and gave him a soft bump with my elbow. He chuckled quietly and checked his watch.

 

“They are taking long time.” He spoke, looking down the hallway which was filled with guards. I nodded and rolled my neck, thinking how happy I would be tomorrow when I boarded the jet and went home. I was rather proud of myself, so far everything had been going off without any hitches.

 

“I can't imagine what's on the agenda for them. Politics aren't my thing.” I mumbled back to him and he readily agreed with me.

 

“Not mine, either. I just like to shoot people.” It was honest and I had to control my urge to giggle. When you're stuck in a confined space, in a Russian Government building, waiting on a shady meeting to adjourn, surrounded by war hardened killers...you don't just giggle. I could feel many sets of eyes on me, so I just averted mine down and looked at my boots for a little while.

 

Then like a blessing, we heard the door unlock and a man held the door open as the representatives began coming out one by one. It reminded me of parents picking their children up from school at the end of the day. Each politician found their guards and followed suit as they started being led down various hallways. That was part of the joint plan, each would be escorted out of different exits to hopefully thwart an attacker. Our door was the one which led to a fire exit on the south side of the building. Erik took point, and I brought up the rear. Two of our guys were waiting by the exit, and one was in the car keeping it running.

 

Erik radioed to the two manning the door, alerting them we were on our way. Alkaev was acting fidgety, I took notice to how badly he was perspiring. Something must have happened in that meeting. I was about to lean up and ask if he was alright, but there was a rumble. It sounded distant, and Erik froze. It was such an abrupt stop that Alkaev ran into the larger man's back, and I to him. I huffed, before Erik's huge arm reached back and grabbed our 'package' by the collar of his shirt and yanked him down. There were a few more rumbles, and the building shook faintly. My ears strained to focus. There was a ghostly silence before the sounds of automatic gun fire started echoing through the hallways.

 

Suddenly, all hell broke lose.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter is enjoyable. As always I am sure there a few typos here and there.  
> I really enjoy feed back so if you want to comment or just say hello, I'm perfectly okay with that. ;)  
> So...what do you think about the developments? (I'm excited!)


	5. Protect the Comrade Pt 2

**Moscow, Russia**

 

**Six Days Into Mission: PROTECT THE COMRADE II**

 

 

“Damn it all to hell!” I groaned as I watched officiates and other people blindly running towards whatever exit they could find. An alarm was starting to go off and to my dismay, a damn sprinkler system came on. Alkaev was shaking like a leaf in the wind and Erik was radioing to our door guys. In all the hustle and the sound of gun shots getting closer, I was struggling to concentrate. A second later Erik shut up and turned to me, with a queer look of excitement in his eyes.

 

“Take Alkaev to exit, I follow to cover!” His heavy Russian accent made him sound even more deadly. I just nodded and quickly withdrew one of my .40's. I made sure it was loaded and ready to shoot, before grabbing onto Alkaev's sleeve and tugging him to follow me. I would need to keep him low and not lose sight of him in the chaos of everyone's panic. The politician didn't hesitate to follow, keeping his hand on the back of my shirt so I would know he was there without compromising my scene evaluations as we moved ahead.

 

My heart was pounding in my chest as I felt my whole body thrumming. Adrenaline was kicking in and I was having to focus on keeping a steady pace so my companions would be able to keep up with me. Sweat was dripping down the back of my neck now, I felt as if I wished I had two more set of eyes. When I found the staircase to the floor we needed to be on, I signaled for the two men to halt so I could check to make sure the stair way was clear. I leaned my body into the door and swung out with my gun, having it ready to fire if needed. Thankfully, the coast was clear and I motioned for them to follow. Erik covered our asses while they ducked in, and I resumed my position at the front.

 

The stairs were easy enough, and I went through the same routine for the door which lead to the next level floor. There were less people up here, and the gunshots has stopped. As quietly as we could, with a wheezing and panicking old man, we started rounding corners into what seemed like a cubicle area. I motioned for Alkaev to stay low as I started leading us through a maze of desks and computers. When we came upon a water cooler and a collection of book shelves with office supplies piled into them, I signaled to stop. Erik took the chance to radio and give the other three an update on our location. We stayed crouched there, waiting for a response.

 

None came.

 

Well, shit!

 

Erik seemed to share my sentiment, because he shook his head and leaned in close to talk to us.

 

“The exit is no good. We must take alternative way.” He was right and I wanted to throw a fit. That meant we were going to have to go back down and sneak out the men's bathroom window. Erik must have seen the look on my face, because he cracked a smile and smacked my shoulder. “Don't worry, we'll be fine. At least you small to fit through window without problem.” I had to give him a smile from under my black baseball cap. I looked to check Alkaev, and he looked about three seconds away from a panic attack.

 

“I c-can't die! You have to protect me!” He said desperately, and I tried hard not to scowl too hard at him.

 

“Mr. Alkaev, you need to calm down and breathe. We are going to get you out of here.” The old man seemed as if he wasn't registering anything I said after his outburst, so I just sighed and grabbed his shirt. I was tugging him along as we back peddled until he started moving on his own. As we started rounding the cubicles again, I got a feeling. It's that hairs raising on the back of your neck and arms. I stopped us and without thinking, shoved the old man under a desk. I signaled to Erik to be on high alert. The huge man nodded, seeming to have sensed it too.

 

I carefully backed up against the cubicle wall and peeked around the corner. I had a clear view of the door. I watched it, seeing into the stair way by the thin glass window. I was straining my ears for any sign of movement, but the only thing I could hear was the damn loud breathing of Alkaev. I turned my head to tell him to be quiet when the fucking door kicked in. I jumped and dove behind the wall as the spray of bullets made my ears ring.

 

“Son of a bitch!” I growled, gripping my gun and waiting for the magazine in the rifle to empty. _Wait it out, the feed isn't forever_. Angel had told me that, and within seconds the reign of ammunition ended. I caught Erik's attention as I swung out and started shooting back. There was only a single man, clad in all black and leather. He quickly dove out of the way and I took the opportunity to reload and hunker down behind another wall. Erik then rose up and started firing. I found my footing and quickly relocated, trying to get a visual on the assailant. Out of the corner of my eye I seen a flash of black, I didn't hesitate to pop out and fire off a few more.

 

“On your four!” I shouted to Erik, seeing him adjust to aim, before he dropped down to avoid the man firing back again. Shit! This asshole was quick. I reached behind my back and withdrew the knife Erik had given me upon my arrival, and tried looking around for a way to make the battle ground even. It was late evening outside, but the sun was still out. My training started coming back to me in sporadic intervals. If I can, I need to use my skills to my advantage. Make my environment serve my purpose.

 

I looked up and seen the long florescent lights dangling above the whole office. If I could know those out, and create enough shadow, I could sneak up on the guy. So as quickly as I could, I began aiming and shooting out the long cylindrical bulbs. One by one, the room was getting darker and darker. My body and mind hummed impatiently as I felt molecules and what-nots preparing to change into seemingly nothing. The shooter hadn't moved or fired in probably half a minute. As soon as the last one was out, I had more than enough room to work with.

 

Within seconds my eyes were perfectly adjusted and I was rapidly feeling much better. Oh, this asshole was going to regret ever going after my 'package'. Wait, never mind.

 

I let my body do it's thing and I felt weightless as I faded into the shadows. Time wasn't on my side right now, so I wasted none if it in seeking him out. There wasn't many places to hide, so finding the man was easy. He was crouched down, totally and perfectly still. I could only make out his back as he seemed to be waiting. My nerves flared up as I focused on powers, shooting the 'idea' out to cut him. Within a split second he grunted and slung an arm out. Unfortunately I had been too focused on cutting him rather than staying totally invisible.

 

It hurt. The back fist caught me in the jaw and sent me into the water cooler. As soon as I hit it, water went everywhere. When my mind caught up to the position I was in, I scrambled to my feet, expecting an attack. But the man had his back to me, and I could blood dripping out of the back of his jacket. He was aiming his gun in the direction which I could Erik moving Alkaev. I grumbled and brought up my loaded gun, squeezing off a few rounds. It was a good distraction to let Erik and the old man get to another cover.

 

Our attacker turned to me immediately, his body standing tall as he began taking powerful and wide steps towards me. I shook my head and felt myself melt back into the air. He momentarily stopped and began looking around. He must have been surprised, surprise mother fucker! With a frustrated yell I flew out of the shadows and tackled him. He'd had no time to brace so he hurdled back with an oomph. My hand to hand was coming to be as I avoided his hands and dissolved enough to make it impossible for him to get a grip on me.

 

I moved around to his back and wrapped my legs around his torso, locking my arms over his windpipe and using my legs go give me leverage up. His left arm came up and grabbed me by my pony tail, knocking my hat off and yanking me forward. Shamefully, I flew off like a rag doll. When I hit the shiny linoleum, he was on top of me. He straddled my hip and pinned my arms down with his knees as he drew his right fist back. I growled and cut him, watching a large wound open up on his chest below his shirt. It must have startled him enough to hesitate, because I kicked my legs up and sent him over me.

 

“GET HIM O-” I started to shout but the assassin was right back on me. His left fist cocked back and landed a hard punch to my stomach. It doubled me over and as he brought it up to do it again, but I used all my strength to catch it. My arms were shaking and I could feel him applying more and more pressure. It was starting to feel like he was testing my limits. My eyes left the fist in my hand, and I looked at his face. He wore a mask that only covered the lower half of his face, and he had shaggy dark hair which hung down around his eyes. His eyes though, were ice blue and void of anything. It was something I hadn't ever seen before, not even in Ajax. The black paint speared around his eyes made them stand out even more.

 

My focus was regained when his right hand came up and cracked me in the nose. I gasped as I felt the feature break, and blood started pouring down into my mouth.

 

“Asshole!” I growled and let go of his hand, as I bucked my hips up sharply. A leather glove came away with me and when he shifted to face me, and I him, I seen something I hadn't been expecting. His left hand was metal! I wasted no time dwelling on it, before phasing back into shadow and feeling the darkness trying to mend my pains. Erik had opened fire again, and the assassin was shooting back. I quickly made my way back to the men and landed on the ground with a heavy thud. Erik's attention was on defending our client, so I grabbed Alkaev and ignored his whimpering from fear. Seriously? If an eighteen year old can just take him on and survive getting her ass kicked, you can get some balls!

 

“MOVE!” I shouted, not caring how the old man fell over and I had to drag him up to his feet. I kept him low and I burst through the door to the stair well. Erik was only feet behind us as we took off at a dead run down the stairs and towards the ground floor. The blood was pouring into my mouth and every breath I took, I only tasted it more. The air was thick with it.

 

“Holy shit!” I stammered as I flew into another door, shoving Alkaev through and waiting for Erik. When the massive bulk of a man came in, he went right past me and started dragging a display case to block the door to give us some time.

 

“Who is that guy?” Erik asked as he helped me haul up the politician and get him moving again.

Like hell if I know!

 

“I don't know! He's strong as hell and the fucker has a metal arm!” I said exasperated, leading the way around corners and searching for the men's bathroom. There were bodies everywhere and smoke filing in from somewhere. I tried not to take too much of it in. It looked like a massacre. Dead politicians lay scattered around with their guard details. The two men continued in silence before Erik suddenly started cussing. Loudly. My head snapped towards him and I gave him a look.

 

“Shut up!” I ground out as I caught sight of the bathroom door. Erik's calm collection had faded to fear. His face was pale and he was reloading hastily. My brows shot up in question before the sound of the door we'd left blocked came crashing in. My eyes got wide and I moved us forward, running and dragging Alkaev. Erik grabbed his other arm and we were all but carrying him at this point. The man had started stammering in Russian, seemed to be praying.

 

We were only a foot away until more gun fire rained down on us and I felt a sharp pain in my left arm. I yelped, but was able to push the burning back as I shoved the old man into the bathroom. Erik grabbed at me and I avoided him as I drew, firing shots towards the assassin.

 

“Get him out of here!” I growled at the large Russian, but he jerked me inside hard, and I had to get my barrings about me for a second. His brown eyes leveled with me as he reloaded again. I knew it was his last magazine.

 

“No win against him. He's a ghost.” He said with a very gravely tone, “he's unstoppable. It's only matter of time.” With that he pulled the slide back and motioned to the window above the urinals against the wall. “Take Alkaev and get him to car, then go to extraction point. Rest of team will be waiting.” My jaw clenched and I shook my head. But Erik grabbed the front of my shirt and pushed me towards Alkaev who was trying to get the damn window open.

 

“Go! That is Winter Soldier, and he doesn't stop!” There was a hard set determination in the man's face. I wanted to cry, honestly. He'd been so nice to me this past week. But I only nodded and knew I had a mission to see through. So I turned my back to him and busted out the glass with the butt of my pistol. When all the shards and sharp edges were knocked out, I helped hoist the old man up. He didn't hesitate to crawl through and teeter totter his way out. When I stepped up onto the urinal to start climbing out, I glanced back and seen Erik breathing heavily. He was slumped against the door and I could see he'd taken a few bullets. Our eyes met and he shot me a tired smile, before jerking his head for me to go. I gave him a sad smile and tumbled out the window.

 

Everything else was a blur, I remember helping Alkaev up off he ground and shuffling us through decorative bushes and past the police barricade that were just starting to set up. I took him down a few blocks before I stole a car and peeled out. I know that by the time we had reached the EVAC point, I was hardly able to focus with the bullet in my shoulder. I remember half a dozen men in black fatigues and a chopper. I also partially recall Alkaev sitting across from me in a helicopter, scarily more calm than I. His dark eyes had raked over me, before he managed a satisfied nod.

 

“Well done, Nyx.” He said over the whirring of the blades above us right before we took off. Finally, I gave into the comforts of the night and let the darkness take me.

 

 

 

 

**Sister Margaret's, New York City**

 

 

The bar was packed and Wade sat perched on a bar stool, watching Vanessa talk to a woman who'd asked her where she'd gotten her 'fuck me' heels. He smiled to himself as he ran his fingers up and down through the condensation on the glass. The southern rock was familiar and he was trying to decided if he liked the song that was playing before Weasel groaned. The bar tender leaned against the counter and took his glasses off so he could rub his eyes. The bags under his eyes made Wade grin knowingly.

 

“How much did you spend?” And by the way Weasel reacted to it, Wade chuckled.

 

“Too damn much. I don't even remember getting home or how I woke up with nipple tassels stuck to my forehead...” The straggly blonde grunted, but slowly a smile crossed his face. “But by the way my I pissed all over the wall when I aimed at the throne this morning, I must have gotten laid like a King.” The men shared a nod and Weasel clinked his beer to his friend's.

 

“You better get some penicillin in you, brother! I'm sure you keep a vial in your fridge by now.” Wade slung at him and Weasel rolled his eyes before pointing his finger at him.

 

“That's actually not a bad idea, Wade.”

 

The mercenary snorted and was about to explain how not all things can be cured by the 'miracle P' before the TV got his attention. The TV was on mute, but suddenly images were flashing across the screen of a government building in Moscow. Along the bottom was the large letters:

 

 **'WINTER SOLDIER STRIKES AGAIN, KILLING 8 GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS. PRESIDENT PUTIN HAS YET TO MAKE A STATEMENT. WHITEHOUSE IS TAKING OPPORTUNITY TO OFFER ASSISTENCE IN THE CAPTURE OF WANTED ASSASSIN'**.

 

Wade felt an itch settling into his palms as he motioned to the TV.

 

“Can you turn it up?” He asked as Weasel reached for the remote and increased the volume. As the news reports started filling up the atmosphere in the bar, more people started shutting up to listen up. A few of the other guys came up to the bar, all quiet. They were showing footage of windows being blown out and flames licking up the side of the building. People were filing out in panic, and officers were helping wrangle them up to safety. It switched to the sight of a beautiful Russian woman who was being subtitled.

 

“As far as we know, the Winter Soldier has killed all but one member of a board who were reportedly gathered to discuss their expenditures in regard to the War of Terrorism. A source has told us that the surviving man, who the name isn't being released at this moment, was kept safe by his private security guards. He was confirmed safe a few moments ago.” The images switched again, to an aerial view of the destruction. Medics were wheeling out body bags on stretchers.

 

“Jesus...” A large man said to the right of Wade, before he took a sip of his beer. Wade just nodded and licked his lips.

 

“The politician is one lucky son of a bitch.” The mercenary said to himself mostly, before he felt familiar warm hands snake around his middle. The TV cut back to the reporter who was squinting the bright lights in her face.

 

“Word has just been confirmed that the the President of the United States is sending members of the Avengers to aid in the search for the Winter Soldier. President Obama has expressed his adamant belief this man needs to be brought to justice.” Despite the mood in the room, Wade barked out with a laugh. He got a few looks and he shrugged. Vanessa gave him her own amused grin, but he knew she didn't understand why he was laughing. The man took a gulp of his beer and dropped his voice.

 

“The Winter Soldier is a ghost. I remember hearing stories about this guy all the way back during my first deployment.” His brown eyes caught hers and he scrunched up his nose, kissing her's.

 

“So, it's an old guy?” It was a valid question, but he could only shrug.

 

“I doubt it. There are rumors that's always circulated in the pay-for-death community, that as far as assassins go...the Winter Soldier can not be topped. For like, the past seventy years he's been traced to many high profile deaths and terrorist attacks.” Her eye brows set in serious thought before Wade sighed and finished his beer. He stood and slung his arm around her shoulders, loving the strapless shirt she was wearing.

 

“But...” Vanessa started to say, before going quiet

 

“All I know is that the guy's a bedtime story that men tell each other at night to try to freak the newbies out. I also know that I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark ally, I'm too pretty.” He cracked a smile and batted his eyes as Vanessa paid for his drink and started tugging him out of the bar. Wade gave a wave to Weasel before falling into step behind his girlfriend. It was a chilly evening and still fairly early as he steered her to their favorite Chinese place.

 

They ate and talked, smiling and flirting shamelessly. Most of their on lookers blushed and shook their head. Even as the man was busy with his girlfriend, he could help the nagging feeling in the back of his mind. Something big was brewing and he knew when it hit, he didn't want Vanessa anywhere near it. It was bad enough she knew and accepted what he did for a living. He'd promised her to take fewer jobs that kept him away, and so far he'd made good on that. Her laughter brought him back to the present as she made weird noises while sticking her chopsticks up under her upper lip, pretending to be a walrus. His heart fluttered and he knew he was going to have to propose soon, Christmas was just around the corner.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on the edge of my seat, wondering what you guys think about this one!  
> PLEASE INDULDGE ME!


	6. Femeie Umbră

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, sorry about the short stories. I'm having technical difficulties. So I figured a short one was better than nothing. *sigh*  
> Secondly, THANK YOU to everyone reading and leaving me some sugar. xoxo  
> Thirdly, thank you to thebeastinsideusall and spider-dork for being fun conversationalists and giving some badass advice and ideas. Beast, I'm introducing some of your inspiration and influence in on this one. *high five*  
> Femeie umbra is Romanian for 'Shadow Woman'.

**Warehouse, New York**

 

 

“Thanks, Ang.” I mumbled, still tired from the restless sleep I'd gotten on the flight home. I was dying to get out of these jeans and the extra layers. As Angel shut one of the many doors the warehouse had, I sighed happily. Lethargic and feeling groggy, I began slowly unwrapping the scarf from around my head and neck. Angel picked my bags up and went ahead of me as I slowly limped towards the staircase that led up to the staff rooms. My face had healed by the time I'd gotten on the plane, except for the large bluish purple bruise across my nose. I had tape to help my nose heal straight. My leg though, it would take a few more days at the least. The bullet had torn through muscle and almost got the bone.

 

It also hurt like a bitch, and I'm pretty sure I have so much pain killer in my blood that you could shoot it up and get high. The medic, which saw me onto my plane, shot me up with enough stuff to bring down Godzilla. The idea made me grin lazily as I slowly started ascending the first couple steps. My head felt fuzzy and warm, there was only a dull thud in my thigh as my damaged muscles strained. All I knew for sure was I was terribly happy to be back home.

 

Home.

 

The idea was still slightly strange, this place wasn't what I would have once considered home. But everything is always changing, me along with it.

 

“C'mon, T.” Suddenly Angel was directly in front of me and hoisting me up bridal style. I giggled shamelessly and wrapped my arms around the muscular woman.

 

“Oh, my Angel baby.” I grinned wolfishly and she barked out a laugh.

 

“You're fuckin' high.” She retorted and hurried up the rest of the stairs. I only nodded and rested my head on her shoulder. I closed my eyes and heard her open my door. The lights were all off and she laid me on my bed. I sighed, smelling the familiar linens and fabric softener. “You goin' to be alright?” Ang asked me, and I just nodded.

 

“Oh yeah! Going to sleep and let this damn leg heal.” My head felt like a hundred pounds as it sunk into my pillow. Angel quietly grunted in agreement as she began tugging my boots off and trying to get my covers over me. I shifted, allowing them to slip out from under me. When the comfortable weight settled on me, I heard her get me bottled water out of my mini fridge and set it on my bedside table. I opened my eyes to give her a small smile. She smiled back, ruffling my hair.

 

“Glad you're alright.” I reached my hand out to her, happy when she caught it with hers and felt her squeeze it.

 

“Goodnight, Ang.”

 

“Goodnight, T.”

 

 

 

Darkness and warmth. I immediately knew I was in my bed. It wasn't a new self awareness, I've been like this since I went on the run at fifteen. But something wasn't quite right. I was on my 'side', facing the wall. I was almost too warm, so I shifted and felt something brush my hip.

 

“How're you feeling?” The smooth timbre of Ajax's voice broke through the silence. My eyes snapped open and I felt my muscles stiffen. His hand on my hip was resting under the waist of my jeans, thumb staring to rub circles into my skin. I inhaled deeply and didn't bother to turn over.

 

“Sore, but I'm okay.” My voice was raspy and cracked, which I found odd. I felt heavier in my bed than normal and I started wondering how long I had been asleep. “How long was I out?” His hand moved faintly as he shrugged and moved his left arm up under my pillow and slid closer to me. There was maybe an inch between us and my back was tingling.

 

“When you got back yesterday, I was still gone. I got back a few hours ago.” He made a sound deep in his chest which woke the rest of my mind up. “Almost a 24 hours.” His hand was still on me, thumb still rubbing.

 

“Must have been tired.” I mumbled as I pulled my legs up, ignoring the small pinch in my thigh.

 

“Must have.” Ajax sounded so relaxed, it also sounded horribly alien. His face came closer to the back of my neck and he inhaled deeply. “I must congratulate you on a mission well done.” I didn't miss the smirk in his voice. I rolled my eyes before closing them and burying my face deeper into my pillow. My muscles began relaxing and I just wanted to go back to sleep.

 

“Thanks.” It sounded childish and muffled. I expected him to leave me be or ask me more formal questions about my week in Russia, but instead the older man yawned and let his head drop to the pillow. “What are you doing?” I grunted, lifting my head just fractionally in an attempt to cast him a look over my shoulder. He huffed. Ajax actually huffed, indignant. He was quiet for a minute before he replied to me.

 

“Can't a man just fancy a cuddle?” The answer felt like I had just discovered some great conspiracy. I actually felt the tears coming to my eyes with the want to laugh so hard.

 

“Didn't take you for a cuddler.” I chuckled, expecting my taunt to push him away. But his hand tightened on my hip and he closed the gap between us. His arm came across my waist and he buried his face into my mess of black curls. I'm sure I smelled like sweat, gun residue and god knows what else. I'd only wiped down and changed before I flew home. Alkaev's people didn't give me enough time for a proper bath. My nose scrunched up at the close proximity. My heart was pounding hard as I felt extremely conflicted. This man had tortured me and broke me...

 

The silence was thick with my thoughts and whatever he was thinking, or wasn't for that matter. I felt the tautness of the tape on my nose and ignored it. I wasn't doing too good of a job with ignoring the way the muscle on his arm relaxed as he curled around me. His breath was warm and chilly as it skated down my neck into my shirt. But look at me now, right? I just took on an assassin and kept a Russian Politician alive, fought beside ex Special Forces... I was stronger and more than what I'd ever thought I'd be.

 

“Want me to leave?” His question side tracked me from my mental evaluation. I bit my bottom lip and worried it between my teeth, wondering if I wanted him to stay or to go. Did I? The impulse answer is yes, yes I don't want him close to me like this. But the other half of me, the more dangerous half, is comforted by his warmth and how he usually keeps himself distant. So, with the most non-committal response ever invented, I settled for shrugging my shoulders. I didn't know what to say. Either way it would be weird, either way it would be welcome. Ajax made another sound deep in his chest and didn't let go of me.

 

I settled for not talking. I yawned and shifted, bending my right leg out as I rolled onto my stomach. My left leg was now straightened out. Within seconds Ajax hooked his leg with my left, letting his arm around me loosen and readjust. He settled for laying his palm flat against the skin of my back, under my shirt. His face was against the top of my head. The man let out another fucking huff, this one sounding close to content. I scrunched my nose in my pillow as he adjusted some until he was finally comfortable. A few moments passed and I was about to fall back to sleep when he started shifting again. I groaned.

 

“Go to sleep.” I groaned, reaching behind me and pulling his hand in around me. At this point he was almost on top of me. But, it felt so nice to be close to someone again. Especially after Russia. The idea made my throat tight.

 

“Didn't take you for a cuddler.” Ajax mimicked my words back at me, and I shrugged again.

 

“I don't really know what I am.”

 

Even he didn't say anything, he just took advantage of our position. I felt his nose push past my wild hair to gently rub against my scalp a few times. He kept inhaling gently.

 

“You're alive, and that's going to have to be good enough for now.” The words were softly spoken but held an edge. I just made a sound of agreement and focused on the comfort of black nothing.

 

“Night.” I whispered as I let myself start to slip into the shadows in my mind and pull what I need from the darkness around us.

 

“Good night.”

 

 

 

A week passed like nothing, I was back into the bump and grind of my daily workouts and training. Ajax and his team of mad scientists ran a few more tests. I started my research into my father's murder and by the fifth day, I was ready to scream. It was as if he'd been washed from history, my mother and myself too. I couldn't find anything about family history or a family tree. And the further I tried to dig, the less information I got. Angel ended up pulling me away to make me get some air. I spent a lot of nights getting 'air'. I would haunt the cat walks above the main warehouse, numbly watching the 'patients' in their various stages of treatment.

 

I didn't have the heart to mingle or offer my help. After being here for so long, their cries and screams were like white noise. Just static filling the air. I'd also dissolve into the darkness and let the shadows take over me. It was a calm and a peacefulness I'd never known before my mutation, closest thing to it had been diving. But I couldn't control the ocean, I can control my displacement. I can control the darkness because I am the darkness. It was starting to feel like my old life had just been a bad dream. Well, it hadn't all been bad. There had been a few good moments. Though, now I know the meaning to bittersweet. For some reason, in the darkest parts of my blessed blackness, I could always see a pair of warm brown eyes not too far from my thoughts.

 

“Nyx?” A voice pulled me from my solitude above the lights of the warehouse. I focused on seeing a man standing on the metal grating of the west side cat walk. He was one of the senior members of Ajax's personal guard. He'd been in the same rotation as the Brit. He was impenetrable, also foreign. Petrov Malik. I wanted to say he was Russian, but it didn't seem right. Maybe Romanian?

I wanted to ignore him, but by the way he seemed irritated and in a hurry it made me curious. Carefully I focused on being whole and I felt myself coming back to right behind him.

 

“Yes?” I said calmly, not holding back my grin as he jumped and turned to face me. I had to look up at his face, but it didn't change the fact that I could creep him out. The last of me became solid and I felt the tell tell tingle in my spine letting me know I was in one piece.

 

“Jesus Christ!” He growled before pointing towards the end of the walk way. “Ajax needs you to make yourself sparse for a bit.” Malik tried sounding assertive, but my feet didn't move. My eye brow shot up and I crossed my arms.

 

“I was sparse until you showed up.” The half joke earned me no rewards as the older and too serious man rolled his eyes. His accent came out slightly thick, and I would be a fool to say I didn't enjoy it.

 

“Boss man wants you to be gone off the property, he said he'll call you when you can come back.” Malik crossed his arms, waiting for me to move. I huffed and peered over the railings as I started seeing how the staff were running around and Angel was shouting out orders. I braced myself and leaned over.

 

“Ang! What's going on?” Her head snapped up towards me and she pointed towards the warehouse doors. Her eyes were hard set and I could tell she was on full alert.

 

“You need to get out of here, T!” She growled at me, before taking a breath and softening up. “Please, we'll call you when you can come back. Just trust me, okay?” For some reason seeing the woman who could toss a car like a softball looking worried, it left me unsettled. I just nodded at her and felt Malik's hand rest on my lower back has he escorted me down. I made a quick dash to my room for my wallet and gun, slipping into my black leather jacket on my way down the hall way. Malik was waiting on me, where he handed me a set of keys.

 

“Don't get into any trouble, femeie umbră.” 

 

I rolled my eyes, noting how he used one of the many names I had garnished around this place. I was going to have to ask what the hell that meant later. In the meantime, I jingled the keys as I was making sure I had everything before the door was thrown open. I was knocked onto my ass as four men in total body armor rushed in. Before I could even reach for my side arm or disappear into the darkness, I had a cold barrel of an M-16 carefully pressed between my eyes. One right after the other, all the doors to the warehouse were breached by similar teams. I was waiting for gunfire to break out, or any kind of retaliation. Instead, Ajax calmly walked out into the middle of the fray with his hands up in a surrender. He was the perfect image of level headedness. He stood tall in his black long sleeved shirt and black fatigues. His eyes briefly met mine before he mouthed ' _first chance, fade away_ '. I answered him with a calm wink, trying not to hit the douche that kept hitting my forehead with the gun barrel. 

 

Son of a mother fucking bitch, this is becoming a bad habit.

 


	7. Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this.  
> But hang onto your pants, folks.   
> It'll all be picking up soon. xoxo

**Warehouse, New York**

 

 

“Mr. Freeman.” The old man said softly, as if he was an old friend. I watched, slightly confused as Ajax gave him a cautious nod and extended his hand to the old man. The security detail momentarily aimed for him, as if the handshake was a grenade. I inhaled quietly and started to feel my body dissolving away before two painfully hard hands gripped my arms. I grunted and tried to jerk away, but the hold was unwavering. I knew I was trapped. I mean, technically I could still slip away but I've drawn attention to myself. Shit. Damn.

 

The grip wasn't easing up and I could feel my skin and muscles getting sore. I couldn't help but whine as my captor pushed me closer to the center, closer to the artificial light. I cast my eyes downward and felt them changing to the eerie milky shade. My eyes were watering as the pin prick sensation began kicking in.

 

“Well, hello my dear.” The old man spoke to me, and I felt a shiver run through my entire body. I inhaled and forced myself to look up and meet the old blue eyes of the man. His face was ridden with wrinkles, but the ice in his gaze told me all I needed to know about the man. He was a boss. He was dangerous with the commands he could no doubt give. I paid no mind to the tears sliding down my cheeks as I seen Ajax looking more and more uncomfortable. He had at least two guns at his back, we were in a bad position.

 

“Usually it's polite to speak when spoken to, child.” The old man said. I blinked a fresh wave of tears out of my eyes.

 

“Hello.” I said curtly, wishing the asshole holding me would ease up. My stress must have been obvious, because the old man signaled to my captor and a second later I was free. I exhaled with relief as my poor arms throbbed. I wiped at my face and took a moment to assess our situation further. All patients were quiet, most likely put to sleep by the staff in the hustle. Angel was on stand by close to the other side of Ajax, and Malik was where I'd left him. I did the numbers up in my head quickly, we were out numbered.

 

“So, you must be the young woman who escaped my best soldier.”

 

I returned my attention to the old man, looking dumbfounded until the man who'd been holding me came around to stand protectively behind him. For a moment I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head. With a clean face and wind swept hair, stood the fucking Winter Soldier. His blue eyes were hard and emotionless. They were staring straight ahead, until his eyes met mine. A thousand thoughts and the memory of blood and gun fire filled the space between us. My hands twitched, my nose tingled. I thought about Erik and I hadn't noticed how I had started shaking.

 

“No worries, girl. He is under my control and will not attack unless told to.” I couldn't help myself, I set my shoulders and gritted my teeth.

 

“It's not him you should worry about, old man.” I pulled my eyes from the Winter Soldier and to the old man. “Unlike him I don't have a leash, and I owe him one.” My voice had broke off into a growl, I didn't miss the muscle twitch of the Soldier. His blue eyes were sizing me up, and his lips pursed. I knew the old man was talking again, and Ajax was replying to something. But, my eyes were locked with the Winter Soldier's. I felt my hackles rising more and more. The empty darkness that lies waiting inside me was stirring and I felt the need to obliterate this asshole. He was in the same garb he'd been in last time, except his metal arm was fully exposed. It was glinting under the lights. It looked menacing but I just wanted to make him bleed...

 

“NYX!” A powerful shout startled me right before a sharp sting hit the right side of my face. I blinked a few times, before refocusing and seeing a furious Brit in my face. Ajax was fuming, arm extended and pointing towards the door. “Leave. Now.” I wanted to speak but he jerkily shook his head. Confused and not wanting to piss him off any further, I just nodded and looked at the Soldier one last time. I didn't let my surprise register when I noticed the claw-like wounds all over his chest. He didn't make one sound of pain. I felt smug, and wanted to howl with laughter. But his eyes, they followed me out of the warehouse, suddenly liquid and alive.

 

The chilly night air hit me hard in the face. December was in full force, freezing everyone to the bone. I climbed into the black SUV Malik had handed me the keys for, starting it up and getting away fast. As I turned the heat all the way up, I concentrated on the road as I found myself going into the city.

 

 

 

**Hours Later**

 

 

I had driven all over New York, waiting on my cell phone to go off. Sunrise was a few hours away and I would be rendered helpless in the day light. Worry was eating at me at the thought of blistering to death. I mean, I don't know if it would actually kill me....but it would be horribly excruciating. I didn't want to get a room, and I didn't want to go back until I was told to. To my chagrin, I found myself parking a few blocks down from Sister Margaret's. I turned the engine off and just sat there. I felt a whole slew of emotions, abruptly hitting me like punches. This is ridiculous. I mean, it's a bar. One of which I've been inside of before, and I'm pretty sure Weasel liked me.

 

Then with an impulsive aggravation, still wound up on my confrontation from earlier, I slammed the door shut. I walked around to the back of it and pulled the rear door up. I dug around and found a familiar plain black uniform ball cap we all wore. I put it on my head and shut the door. I checked over myself, I was decent. No make up, hair unruly under the hat. My black leather jacket was zipped up over my dark blue tee and my holster. My dark skinny jeans were tucked into my combat boots, I was fine. Hopefully, the welt on the side of my face would go unnoticed. It should be gone soon, anyhow.

 

Then like last time, I pushed inside. The bar was empty except for the familiar blonde behind the counter. His back was to me as he groaned and began shutting off lights over the pool tables.

 

Thank god.

 

“Hey uh, we're closed. Last call was an hour ago.” Weasel hollered of his shoulder, and I hesitated, before sitting down and throwing a ten on the counter.

 

“Even if I pay the Weasel Tax?” I replied coolly, enjoying the way he quickly turned around and gawked at me. I could see the wheels turning for a moment before he waggled his finger at me, setting down the towel in his hand.

 

“Well, Ms. Tia Crown, I never thought I'd see you again.” His smile was genuine as he didn't hesitate to pull out a Coke. I smiled back, grateful to the hat for keeping my eyes safe from the dim light.

 

“I didn't think you would either, but I was in the neighborhood.” I stated, opening my Coke and taking a long drink from it. Weasel grabbed himself a clean glass and poured a beer, before coming around the counter to motion me to join him at one of the small tables.

 

“So, business or pleasure?” The frizzy blonde inquired if we'd known each other our whole lives. It helped ease the frustration in my bones, bringing forth a genuine sense of familiarity. He was eyeing me intently from his glasses.

 

“Business, but my visit here is for pleasure.” I sipped my coke and grinned sheepishly. “And I might have needed a place to duck down for a few hours until I'm told other wise.” The man chuckled and then shook his head.

 

“Sounds shady.”

 

“It's very shady, but it's my job.” I was surprised with how much older that made me sound, and Weasel grunted.

 

“We corrupted you.” I laughed and shook my head, leaning back in the old chair.

 

“Nah, I'm just too nosy for my own good. I guess it's a talent.” I set my drink down and took my cell phone out, to lay it on the table. I unzipped my jacket and let my skin breathe, it was warm in here. I didn't miss his eyes checking me out as I peeled it off and draped it on the back of my chair.

 

“You've been working out, looking good Tia.” He said in a way which would have been sleazy had it not came from him. I shrugged again and got comfortable.

 

“Have to be in good shape to keep up with the profession.” He didn't press on the subject, just took it for what it was. Working here, I'm sure he's learned not to ask too many questions. Silence started to grow between us as I sipped some more from my coke. My eyes went to the bar and behind it, spotting a picture of Wade and Vanessa admist many more. Even though I tried to not to get caught, Weasel sighed.

 

“Just ask already.”

 

I shook my head, set on not even speaking his name. But, Weasel's stare was making me twitchy and I knew that I wanted to know...

 

“So, how is Wa-”

 

“Terrible.” He cut me off and I huffed, unable to help myself. Weasel's naturally mischievous air changed. He fiddled with his glass, using his free hand to rub the back of his neck. I then noticed the bags under his eyes, how tired he looked.

 

“What do you mean?” I asked him, my voice softening and the ominous tendrils of dread lacing into my mind. The older man took a drink of his beer before leaning onto the table on his forearms.

 

“He proposed to Vanessa on Christmas.” This didn't surprise me, and I even found it in the deepest pits of myself to give a small smile.

 

“How's that terrible? He loves her!” I sounded slightly indignant in their defense, but Weasel nodded and took another gulp.

 

“It's not terrible, at all but what happened afterwards is.” There was a dramatic pause before he went on. “Wade collapsed afterwards and Vanessa had him taken to the hospital. They did some tests...”

 

My grip on my Coke was so tight, my hand had started to shake. I was holding my breath, waiting for him to continue. My stomach was starting to tighten with sick anticipation.

 

“He's got cancer, kid.”

 

I was frozen. It felt like the air was sucked out of the room and I was just existing in a state of disbelief. Cancer? Wade can't get cancer. That's impossible. He's healthy! My mind was wrapping itself around the absurdity of the idea. That's insane! A spout of laughter erupted from me, before Weasel flinched and I shook my head.

 

“Wade can't get cancer! That's ridiculous!” As I watched his expressions, and the way he stared at his hands, I felt ill. My mouth gaped open, my eyes watered. “Weasel...” It was broken and I was suddenly crying forthright. The bar tender sighed, reaching across the table to place his hand on my left one.

 

“I still can't believe it. That son of a bitch.” He sounded more hurt than I'm sure he felt comfortable admitting to. “Right now, Vanessa is doing all the research she can to give him options.” Of course she was, she loved him. My head felt slightly dizzy and I was trying not to give into the temptation of fading out and letting myself become numb.

 

“How bad is it?” I rasped, scared to know the answer.

 

“Stage four.”

 

And just like that, I felt too trapped in. I was suddenly begging my phone to ring, the floor to open up and suck me down, for the world to end. Something to out weigh the immediate situation at hand. I wanted to fight and deal out the amount of pain pumping through my veins. Flashes of the last night we'd spent together hitting me like shot gun slugs.

 

His hands sliding all over my skin, his mouth and teeth marking me, his arms as he held me. He'd been my first anything. It was more than just sex or a hero crush. He gave me my life back when he took the life of my father's murderer. He alone sought me out. He made sure I got the best version of justice he could give. Wade gave me my life back.

 

“I'm sorry Tia, I know you have, uh...feelings for Wade.”

 

My eyes snapped up to Weasel's, and I scrunched my nose up as the tears burned. I pulled my hand away from his to wipe them away.

 

“I'm sorry too, I know you two are close friends.”

 

More silence filled the space between us, but neither of us spoke. We just stared at our drinks, deep in our own thoughts. I felt like the seconds were cruel entities, stretching into a harsh reality. I shuddered as a chill ran through me again.

 

“He's a realist. I mean, he coping the best he can. Lot's of wheat grass shots followed my tequila.” Weasel offered up, and for some reason I chuckled against my misery. He smiled too, and I wanted to add onto that, but my phone rang. I startled, before grabbing it up and hitting the green button.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Come home.” And the line cut off. It was harsh, and before I could think on it too much, I was on my feet and throwing my jacket back on.

 

“Time to get back to work?” Weasel asked as I made quick work of my zipper, and pulled my hair out from under it. I sighed and wiped my face again, sucking it up.

 

“Yeah.” There was an awkward pause.

 

“Sorry, again.” Weasel apologized again, but I shrugged and licked my lips. Once I was ready to go, I decided to go for the full monty of awkward. I waited for Weasel to stand and I forced a hug on him. My arms wrapped around his middle and it took him a minute to catch up, but he reciprocated. He gave me a good squeeze before stepping back. “Pretty sure that's the closest I've been to a woman without fucking her in a long time.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

 

“That doesn't surprise me, at all.” I pulled the keys out of my pocket and went to wave, but I stopped. I sidestepped and cracked my neck before I cleared my throat. “Can you not tell him I was here?” I frowned, hating the request already, but this wasn't about me. Wade had Vanessa and Weasel. That's all he really needed right now, and I'd be a selfish bitch to come around right now.

 

“Alrighty. Be careful out there, don't get shot.” He was serious, and as I walked away I shot a grin back at him.

 

“Too late!” I didn't miss the wide eyes before the door shut behind me.

 

 

 

 

When I walked into the warehouse, everyone was back to doing their jobs. I tried to sneak in without catching attention, looking for Angel so I can get a quick run down on what the hell had happened. But with my luck, Malik spotted me as soon as I shut the door.

 

“Nyx!” I winced, peeling off my jacket. I sighed, feeling exhausted and trying to not to focus on thoughts of Wade. I had to put on my game face. So I buried it all down and draped my jacket over my arm.

 

“Where is he?” I replied, meeting the large man half way. Malik jerked his head towards the office, and I didn't wait for any prompts. I quickly made my way over, not bothering to knock. I just strolled right in. Ajax was leaned against his desk, arms crossed and chewing on his thumb nail. As soon as I crossed the threshold, his head snapped up and he pointed to the heavy metal door.

 

“Shut it!” He barked out. I hated myself for flinching the way I did before I quickly made sure the door was shut. By the time I was facing him, the Brit was pacing and seemingly very irritated. I've never seen him this wound tight before.

 

“What the fuck were you thinking?” He growled at me, stopping his pacing to stare me down. I froze, standing just a foot from the door.

 

“I don't understand...” I spoke, voice sounding just as timid as I suddenly felt under his icy blue eyes. His jaw muscles went tight and he hastily rubbed his hand over his buzzed head.

 

“You were ordered to leave, and you pissed about! You let yourself get noticed and brought attention to yourself! THEN! You go psycho bitch and attack THE WINTER SOLDIER! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?” With every yelled syllable, I inched closer and closer to the door. His face was turning red, veins in his neck were popping out. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

 

“I swear to God, Tia!” His voice lowered, but he turned on his desk and flipped it. Papers went everywhere, odds and ends clattered to the floor. I yelped and felt my back hit the door. Ajax heard me and turned to face me. His lips pursed. I could almost see the sentences and the accusations forming on the tip of his tongue. I just gripped my jacket tightly against me, wondering what this all meant. I still wasn't speaking. My feet were rooted in place and I was trying to gauge him, prepare myself for an attack. On top of everything else, I now had to wonder where the man who cuddled me last week went to. Granted he'd been gone by the time I woke up, but still.

 

I have no expectations of anyone here, maybe Angel, but not him. Ajax was my boss who liked to dance on the 'it's complicated' line. Not to mention the torture, oh and the shady deals and business. But for just a fraction of a minute, I'd almost been sure there was more to him than he claimed. I thought maybe he _did_ feel something aside from nothing.

 

“Tia.” His voice pulled me back, and I gasped when I realized he was standing right in front of me. His glacial blue eyes leering down at me as if he was debating whether or not he was going to chew me up or spit me out. I squared my shoulders and uncrossed my arms.

 

“Hmm?” I answered him. Ajax tilted his head and leaned into me. One palm rested beside my head on the door, and he used the other to cup my chin.

 

“Our lovely visitors earlier, were Hydra.” I sucked my lip in between my teeth and bit down, shaking my head.

 

“I don't know who that is.” The Brit inhaled and let it out slowly. Obviously gathering his patience.

 

“It's an order that has been the scourge of every government and major organization on the fucking planet. They've got a hard on for the Avengers and SHEILD.” His blue eyes held mine, making sure I took in the gravity of the situation. “I have refused them business because there are even people I refuse to take money from.”

 

“Why were they here, then?” I asked, wanting him to get to the point.

 

“Because when you thwarted his little pet in Russia, it put you on their radar. The old man, Vincent Harshinger, he offered me millions for you.”

 

My stomach bottomed out.

 

“He wants you. Wants to program you into a perfect soldier, wipe you clean and make you into his puppet...”

 

Ajax was gripping me harder, and I felt my body starting to shake.

 

“What did you say?” I whispered, terrified for his answer. His grip tightened even more, his face came closer. I could smell whiskey on his breath. His nose bumped against mine, before he moved on to running it along my cheek and my jaw. I held my breath, waiting for the hammer to drop on me. He didn't answer me until he'd reached my throat. I felt his lips purse, before gently resting them against my pulse point.

 

“I told them that you and I had an arrangement, and I had no intention of calling it off.” He inhaled deeply as his hips leaned forward and pressed into my stomach. I felt pinned and over powered. It was dark enough that I could slip away and be gone from his grasp, but something about him kept me still. “I also said that I didn't like sharing my toys, but I would be more than happy to give him ten men to compensate him for his travels.” My eyes did the buggy thing, again. The cold edge in his eyes started softening and his grip on my chin loosened. The corner of his mouth barely turned upwards, causing me to relax slightly.

 

“No, you didn't.” I spoke it a little more sure of myself, almost regretting it until he gave me a bigger smile. He smirked, but didn't pull away.

 

“You're right, but I did send him with ten of my men. He wasn't pleased but he respected our arrangement and said he'd be back once your three years were up.” I blinked, and held still as Ajax carefully measured me beneath his gaze.

 

“He'll never get me.” I said to myself, consoling myself. After my three years of service are over, I will go somewhere so far away nobody will know me. I will find a small home, somewhere that the sun isn't as harsh during the day. It all seemed like such a lovely dream...

 

“I hope you're right.” The Brit replied, before he placed another kiss to my throat and pushed away from me. His placid expression hardened once more before he pulled out his phone. “Did you go see your mercenary?” The question threw me off, and hearing him say 'your mercenary', it ached. But Ajax's face looked carefully neutral. Like it had when he'd tortured me, when he was training me. My mind was slightly muddled from the sudden loss of Ajax's warmth.

 

“Wade's not mine, and no I didn't see him.” My voice remained steady as I came up beside him and helped to right his desk. Once it was on it's legs, I began picking up scattered papers and pens. Ajax started collecting the same that was closer to him.

 

“You belong to him though, don't you?” He inquired, with his back to me. I paused, setting what was in my hands on the desk. I sighed and began picking up more. I was mulling over the question, and once again Ajax didn't demand an immediate answer.

 

Did I belong to Wade? I didn't belong to anyone, really. Sure there was my arrangement with Ajax and the contracts I worked for clients...but I didn't belong to anyone or anywhere. But, when I imagined what an ideal home was, it would be reflected in brown eyes that shown like honey in the early morning. Littered with scars, a need to be a smart ass and hands which have put an end to many bad men. My throat went tight. My family was dead. I had no information about extended family. I had no lasting friendships, no places of safe harbor. I had nothing but this fucking warehouse and the misfits that resided here.

 

Wade belongs to Vanessa, and I do belong to him. I was the unfinished business which he got closure for. And now, now he was dying. He was preparing for death.

 

“Yes.” I croaked out, using my arm to wipe at the tears which were leaking from my green eyes. I heard him go still. “But it doesn't matter, he's in love and he's happy. She's a good woman, and he needs her.”

 

Ajax guffawed, and chuckled bitterly.

 

“How could he need her more than you? You're beautiful and honest, loyal to a fault.” His words surprised me, and I looked to him. His brows were set in seriousness, his eyes were shining with honesty. It wasn't emotional with his own feelings, was just a logical observation.

 

“He's got cancer, and he needs who he loves.” I took a deep breath, before standing to put the papers on his desk. I grabbed my jacket and draped it across my arm. “He doesn't love me, and that's okay. I don't even know if it's love that I feel for him. I just...”

 

“Have a connection?” He finished for me. Ajax looked like he didn't buy into it, but I just nodded and motioned to the door.

 

“You could say that. So, is there anything else you need from me?” He shook his head and I grabbed the door knob to open the large metal door. I twisted and let myself out, wasting no time in heading towards my bedroom.

 


	8. What Happens in the Armory...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!!!   
> First off, so sorry it's taken me so long to update! I've been a busy lady!  
> But, here's the next chapter!   
> Warning!!! SMUT ahead.  
> The next chapter I PROMISE things will pick up. (I know, I keep saying that.)  
> Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> PS: If you're wondering who Malik is, he's the guy in the movie that Deadpool "shishkabobs" (spelling?)  
> This guy was thebeastinsideusall's idea.<3

 

**Hells Kitchen, New York**

_A Week Later_

 

 

My coffee was almost cold as I was leaning against a street light, squinting over my contacts as my head throbbed. It was almost noon and the hustle and bustle was grating on my nerves. I checked the time on my phone again before I pulled my hat down and was grateful to be fully covered. I felt the latex and leather tugging against my skin under my baggy jeans and hoodie. It was another 'gift' from Ajax and his team. The skin tight body suit kept me safe from the sun, and as much as I loved the protection it gave me...I hated it. It reminded me of a super hero outfit, I hated it so much. Reminded me more of something a dominatrix would wear. All I needed was the spiky leather boots and a crop. Ugh.

 

But, I have a great reason to be here. I had an appointment with a PI, heard this lady was the best. I'm not getting my hopes up, but I've got 15 hundred dollars to motivate her. She's supposed to be meeting me any minute now. I look up and down the street for any sign of a suit.

 

I ended up waiting twenty more minutes. I was pissed.

 

My head was throbbing and I was starting to feel sick to my stomach. I haven't been out in the day like this in a long time, especially with the sun being so high in the sky. My hands were shaking and my skin was crawling. Sweat was rolling down my neck, and I'm pretty sure people thought I was acting like a junkie. As I was about to hail a cab, I heard my name.

 

“Ms. Crown?” I lowered my arm and turned, seeing a very thin woman coming towards me. Her hair was messy and her skin pale. Her eyes were plagued with bags and she looked much older than what she probably was. She had skinny jeans on with a graphic tee under a canvas green button up. Her aviators were low on her nose, her lips generous on her small face. I nodded, deciding to let her tardiness go. She had two large coffees in her hand, reaching one out to me. She smelled like stale liquor.

 

“Jessica Jones?” I inquired, accepting her out stretched hand.

 

“That's me. Sorry I'm late, long night.” Her excuse made me raise an eye brow at her. Her voice was flat and I knew she didn't actually give a shit about being late.

 

“Smells like it.” I retorted. With that, she settled for taking a sip of her coffee and taking a moment to look me over.

 

“You withdrawing?”

 

I barked out a laugh and shook my head, motioning for us to go somewhere other than out in the direct sunlight. I started walking, she followed.

 

“No, I have an...intolerance to the sun light.” She didn't reply, just followed me into a corner cafe that smelled like lattes and fresh cookies. I chose a booth furthest from the large windows, and slid in without preamble. Jessica took the seat across from me, and pulled out a note book.

 

“So, Ms. Crown, you said you needed to find some information about your father?” I nodded and sipped my coffee, taking a moment to then take my hat off and shake my hair out. I caught her staring at the irritated skin around my eyes and the red blotches that were slowly fading from my skin.

 

“Yeah, his name was Jerry William Crown. Was in the Army, special forces. I have some documents I copied. It's his social security number and his birth certificate.” I reached into my back pocket and took out a thick envelope with everything I had that pertained to my Dad. “I've tried digging and I keep hitting walls. Everything is either locked down tight or it's been erased.”

 

Jessica took it and jotted down some information. I listened to her pen scratch against the paper until she set it down and looked back up at me. Her eyes were focused and I could see the wheels turning in her head.

 

“What makes you think I could get anything on him? If he was military, special forces no less, his records are definitely locked down.” She took a gulp of her coffee and I did too. “What were the circumstances of his death?” I felt a cold chill hit me.

 

“Murder, but the court and which ever powers that be pushed it along fast and his killer got off with a smack on the wrist. Evidence was ruled 'unfit for court' and the guy walked.” I didn't bother hiding the bitterness in my voice.

 

“What then?” Her pen was still, her eyes pinned to me. I gnawed my lip before I answered.

 

“My mother and I were taken into witness protection. She over dosed not too long after. Our Marshall's taught me how to survive on the go and I ran like hell before they could put me in the system.” My voice was calm, and I wasn't going to lie. Her brows sank some, as she thought for a moment.

 

“What happened to his murderer? Is that what you're wanting to find out? I'm slightly confused.”

 

My jaw tightened and I gave her a small smile, scratching my thumb nail over the plastic coffee lid. Before I could reply, a cute little waiter stopped by to ask what we wanted to order. Before Jessica could make up an excuse not to get anything, I signaled to the counter and held up two fingers.

 

“Two of your biggest and freshest cookies you have, please.” The young man nodded and went to get our order. I sipped my coffee before I looked back at the older woman. “My father's death was sanctioned by the government. I just know it, nothing is adding up. But the fucker who pulled the trigger is feeling a little torn up, buried in a few creative places in Russia.” My voice was even and lowered. Her face remained impassive. I was waiting for her to frown or something, but instead she gave me a single nod and licked her lips.

 

“Good.” She jotted down some more things, then continued with her questions. “What else?”

 

“From what I found out, the shooter said something about my Dad having found out some things that he was going to blow the whistle on. So, they killed him. Cut and dry.” I cracked my neck and put my hat back on.

 

“Did you kill him?” Her eyes were boring into mine. I felt the energy in me ripple.

 

“I wish I had, but no. I hired a merc, he gave me all the information he got out of him. Pictures, too. I look at them periodically and it makes me happy.”

 

Jessica blinked a few times, before taking a sip of her coffee. Quiet fell between us and our cookies were delivered. I readily bit into mine. I hummed happily as the chocolate chips melted in my mouth. She didn't touch hers, she just kept looking me up and down. Sizing me up and probably wondering if she wanted this job or not.

 

“It sounds like a bad idea to get involved.” She said honestly, and I didn't argue with her.

 

“It probably is. But I have 1,500 in cash in my pocket right now to get you started. I heard you were the best and you weren't afraid to stick a shovel in someones yard.” It was a challenge. Jessica looked down at the pad of paper she'd been writing in. She tapped the pen on it a few times before sighing.

 

“To hell with it, this beats taking pictures of rich spouses cheating.” She closed the pad of paper and tucked it into her shirt pocket, finally taking a bite of her cookie. I smiled, digging out the cash and handing it to her. She grinned and tucked it away, too. “Depending on what kind of resistance I encounter, might need more for consolation.”

 

“That's fine. I make enough to be generous.” And with that, she handed me her business card and stood up. I didn't object as she snatched up her cookie and slid her sun glasses up her nose.

 

“I'll call you as I find things out. Give me some time, this will take a while.” I just nodded and waved as she left. I stuck around long enough to finish my coffee and cookie. I left a twenty on the table and left when I was done.

 

 

 

By the time I returned to the warehouse, everything seemed to be in a stifled sort. Angel was no where in sight and Ajax was amiss, too. I stripped off some layers, leaving my pants over my latex. I ignored the poignant looks from some of the patients and the staff. My body was still changing, getting harder and more mysterious. My skin was losing it's golden hues, my veins sticking out darker underneath. Bluish black lines creating interesting motifs against all the pale. I pulled a hair elastic out of my pocket to pull my hair up in a messy bun as I hunted Malik down. He was leaning against Ajax's desk in his office, clip board in hand. His dark eyes were scanning the sheets of papers, flipping back and forth. I knocked on the door frame and the man lifted his head to see who was intruding.

 

“Hey.” I greeted him, before walking in and stopping to lean against the desk next to him. He straightened out and looked as he always did, a cross between bored and indifferent. He grunted a response to me, before he licked his fingers and flipped some more pages. I sucked my cheeks in and sighed, waiting for him to speak. Sometimes he don't. After about five more pages, he clicked his tongue and handed me a paper. I ran my eyes over it and felt my shoulders sink.

 

“You get to help me with weapon maintenance.” I could see the smirk forming on his face, I wanted to whine.

 

“But, doesn't Angel usually help you with that?” I crumpled the 'to-do' list from Ajax and tossed it in the trash can beside his desk. Malik only nodded and stood up straight. I had to almost tilt my head back some to look up at the behemoth man. His skin was olive and tan, looking deceptionally pliable. He was impenetrable. I knew this because I had accidentally shot him once, and the only damage had been to the layers of skin. Malik was a different kind of handsome. He looked wild and untamed, but he held himself in a restraint that most wouldn't miss to sense it could be gone within seconds.

 

“Yes, but she isn't available right now. You are.” He nudged me with his elbow and jerked his head towards the door. “C'mon.”

 

I followed, dragging my feet the whole way and wanting to pout. The 'armory' as I referred to it, was just a random room they had installed racks for weapon storage. Totes that were labeled held ammo and we had extensive melee weapons for whatever you fancied. I had made the decision long ago not to get too fancy. I was a weapon, so I just stuck with the good ol' side arm. Malik divided up the weapons, mostly leaving me to clean and check the pistols and only a few of the automatic rifles. He took most of the rifles and forbid me from touching a blade. He was our blade master, I don't think there was ever one he'd met that didn't suit him.

 

I pulled a table to a dark corner and laid out all the cleaning solvents and cleaning supplies. I took my contacts out, giving my poor eyes a break from the thick lenses. They only changed marginally to a lot for the low light on Malik's side of the room. Before long, we were both in our own grooves and banging them out one by one. When I'd get a pile, I'd return them to the rack and start on my next pile. After an hour or so, I took a moment to crack my fingers and wipe my hands on a rag. My companion was hunched over in a fold out chair, whet stone in hand and a knife in the other.

 

You'd think the sound of the metal on the stone would be irritating, but it wasn't. It was soothing. I watched as he methodically angled the throwing knife carefully. Easy with the pressure.

 

“You're good at that.” I said out loud. He didn't look up, he just continued working.

 

“A sharp blade is a good blade.” Malik said it reverently. I couldn't help but grin.

 

“I suppose so.” I mumbled, picking up an old 1911 and starting to break it down. There wasn't many parts to a 1911. It was reliable and smooth. I swiped the barrel out and began rubbing some oil into the slide and being careful not too use too much anywhere.

 

“You're good at that.” He said back to me, and I looked up. He was sitting back in his chair, hands empty. His dark eyes weren't as guarded as they normally were, his hands still on the tops of his legs. I gave him an awkward half grin, not used to his attention being focused so intensely on me.

 

“I like guns. They're straight forward.” As I reassembled the 1911, he spoke again. It was odd hearing him be so talkative. He was usually a nod and grunt kind of guy.

 

“Are you and Ajax an item?” It was to the point and my head snapped up to send a confused glare at him.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

He crossed his arms and one eyebrow rose. He gave me a 'you heard me' look. I felt my face warming up.

 

“Uh, no.” I set the gun down, and leaned against the table. I was facing him across the room, palms flat on the table. He didn't look as if he was buying it at all. I stood up a little straighter, setting my jaw. “Ajax is an asshole who I made a deal with. That's it.”

 

“Right.” Malik said in response, his accent hitting heavy with that 'r'. I tilted my head and pursed my lips.

 

“Why would you even ask that?” A sense of self conscientiousness came over me and I found the neck of this latex monstrosity too confining. Quick flashes of the private moments between me and Ajax went through my mind. The subtle touches, the not so subtle ones, that time we cuddled. Ugh.

Then Malik eyeing me as if he could see every single one of them wasn't helping.

 

“He's gives me death glares every time he catches me watching you.” I wanted to scoff at the absurdity of that, but then I felt my cheeks burning when I registered what Malik had said. When he watches me? What? I wanted to say something witty or thorny, but I just shifted on my feet and decided to grab another pistol to start cleaning. The silence was becoming too thick and when I heard the chair squeak as he stood, I swallowed down my want to run screaming out of the room.

 

“Ajax is possessive of his toys.” Malik says as I keep my eyes down to the metals parts in my hands. Deja vu hit me after he'd chosen to word that the way he did. His boots are scraping against the cement floor as he's slowly walking towards me. My pulse is quickening. But my ears burn as I grumble out a retort.

 

“I'm not his toy, or anyone's for that matter.” It didn't sound nearly as vicious as I'd hoped it to be. The man chuckled as he stopped a few feet from me. He was twirling a knife in his hand, amused with himself as he watched me flounder.

 

“We are all his toys, _femeie umbră_.” His voice was lower and smoother, and the nick name made my legs want to tremble. Jesus, like did he know how dangerous that sounds rolling off his tongue like that? Yes, yes he probably did. So, I huffed up and turned to face him. I set all the pieces aside and crossed my arms.

 

“I'm not his in anyway, shape or form.” I tried to harden myself, glaring with my unnaturally pale green eyes. Malik stopped twirling his knife, before setting it on the table. He licked his lips and leaned over me some, taking advantage of his huge form compared to my smaller one. His eyes scanned my face, before his mouth turned down some.

 

“Maybe not, but you belong to someone. I've heard the rumors.” I rolled my eyes and sighed, choosing to angle away from him and put my hands on my hips. What the fuck? Like, seriously? Did I have ' _confused damaged goods pining away for Wade Wilson_ ' etched into my forehead. But I didn't feel like arguing or lying, so I just shrugged.

 

“I don't belong to anyone, I just want to belong to someone in particular.” I pursed my lips and gave Malik a sad look. “It's another level of fucked up when you keep yourself in a cage of your own design.”

 

To my surprise, his eyes softened and he gave me a single nod. His dark eyes skirted to mine before he glanced to his knife next to the dissembled gun.

 

“Where is this person, now?”

 

I gritted my teeth. Up until this point I'd just thought about Wade being gone. He was away somewhere. That's what I told myself at night or when I started thinking about him or his cancer. It was just so much easier than to think abut him being on death's door.

 

“He's dying.” I stepped away from Malik and started to mindlessly finger the parts on the table. “Last I heard a while back, he was diagnosed with stage four cancer. He's probably bed ridden or dead by now.”

 

“Why aren't you there?” A large warm hand cautiously came closer to mine, before stopping. My skin was tingling and absorbing his warmth like a smooth glass of whiskey. I inhaled and let the tingling travel through me. It felt like a battery charge, but it was a nice contrast to my emotions.

 

“Because he has a very wonderful woman who he loves. He chose her, and I don't hold it against him.” I gave him a small smile. “She's very much in love with him, and they are happy together.” Come on, T. Force the lump down. “I wasn't about to step into the picture and ruin their last days together.”

 

“Oh.” Malik replied, before he made some kind of noise in his throat. More damn silence, then he shrugged. “Sorry you're left with that.” I found it in myself to nod and smile, proud of myself for not crying.

 

“Me too, but that's life right? Ironically.” The big man gave me a crooked grin and his eyes went back to being sharp and calculating.

 

“I can see why you are how you are, you're hiding under your grief shroud.” I didn't want to contest it, but I didn't think I was that bad. But maybe I was? I haven't been as annoying lately to Angel. I haven't been much for volunteering on errands or sending as many prickly comments towards Ajax. I must have pouted because Malik rolled his eyes. I returned the gesture.

 

“And you know this because you watch me so much, huh? I thought you found me creepy?” I shot back, and he nodded.

 

“I do, but you are also intriguing.” His smirk was infuriatingly attractive on the normally serious face. Was he actually trying to flirt with me after I spilled my guts out just moments ago? What a dog! But as my eyes lingered on his masculine face and the stubble, I felt myself pulling away from the bad emotions. That part deep inside me that was longing for human connection was waking up and scratching at my insides. I blame all my needy behaviors on it. Like when Ajax touches me and I want to passively consent as his warmth transfers to me slowly. When Angel ruffles my hair after a good training session, or carries me after I push myself too hard. I hated it as much as I wanted to indulge it.

 

“You're not so bad yourself, comrade.” I lightly tease, and he lets those eyes trail down to my throat so seriously. His breathing is starting to slow, and he's leaning in a little closer. His hand on the table is anchoring him, keeping him steady as he's checking me out very openly.

 

“Ajax will have my balls...” He groans, using his other hand to reach for the belt loop on the front of my pants. I shudder as his hand settles over the black latex, the heat seeping through as if it were just another layer of skin.

 

“Ajax doesn't own me, Malik.” I replied, voice matching his husky tone. My brain was firing off on all cylinders of how much I shouldn't be allowing myself to do this, but with everything lately...I just needed a good distraction. It was time to indulge myself. Even if it was just for this once. No harm, no foul.

 

“He doesn't know that.” The Romanian killer whispered as his head bent down closer to mine, placing both of his hands on my hips. He groaned as his large hands squeezed, letting a few fingers slide down under my pants. I shivered, bringing my hands to the front of my baggy jeans and popping open the button before slowly sliding the zipper down.

 

“Then maybe I should prove it, huh?” When the zipper was all the way down, and I could hear his breath losing it's calm pace, I reached for his black muscle shirt and wrapped my fingers in it. Malik grunted and needed no further invitation as he grabbed me and lifted me with one arm slung under my ass. His free arm began pushing things out of our way so he could set me on the table.

 

“ _La naiba totul_..” He growled before gripping my bun and yanking my head back. His hot mouth was on my throat as he other hand quickly found the zipper on the back on my latex suit. I gasped as his tongue flattened against the slick black material on my throat. I could almost feel it. My body was no longer tingling, but rippling with energy. I want to sink into the darkness, but I wanted to be consumed even more. Malik quickly found the leather strip tied to it, and began the slow torture of pulling it down. Inch by inch, my hot skin was exposed to the cool air of the armory. I sighed happily as the air hit my back. The Romanian hummed with satisfaction, his fingers exploring the exposed skin.

 

“Shit.” I gasped as he grabbed the back of my bra and yanked hard. The material gave, stinging my skin. He made no noise except his heavy breaths. With no amount of slack he began the process of peeling the black latex away from me. I squirmed and tried to pull my arms out, but he shook his head and gently grabbed my throat.

 

“No.” It was a soft command which made me go still. He pulled me forward, turning me around and pushing me forward. He pulled my pants down to my ankles and sloppily kissed down the exposed length of my spine. I squirmed and felt myself wanting to get my hands on him, but Malik had other ideas obviously. “No.” He said again, using the latex to bind my arms to my sides. “Just forget everything, _femei frumoase_.” Shit! When he spoke Romanian, it was so fucking hot. I chewed my lip, relaxing more as his teeth scraped my skin. I could feel the roughness of the stubble on his jaw. He interpreted my submission and started tugging the black material down so my back side was completely exposed to him.

 

Malik's warmth left me, I felt his legs go between mine as he spread my legs further apart and he inhaled deeply. His zipper was the next thing I heard, before he shuddered and I felt his warmth rubbing against me over my underwear.

 

“You're going to forget everything, Nyx. You're going to submit to your darkness.” He said roughly, making me keen and nodding against the cool table that smelled like gun oil. The way he said my code name, like it was a dirty secret made my legs almost buckle. I felt his rough fingers yank my underwear to the side as he shoved in all at once. I yelped, my back arched and I longed to find purchase to anchor myself. But, my arms were secured to my sides and I was at his mercy. Malik held still, trailing his hands up my back as he whimpered various things in his mother tongue.

 

They sounded tender and dirty, his blunt nails scratching down my skin. It was a painful pleasure as I adjusted around him. I could feel every single inch of him. He didn't feel too long, just so damn thick. My mouth was dry by the time he started a steady rhythm. My hip bones were grinding into the table, but I didn't give a damn because it felt so fucking good. This wasn't what I'd done with _him_. This was hard and intended to get lost in, something I desperately needed.

 

“Yes, _femei_.” He grunted, wrapping his hands around my arms for leverage. “I watch you.” His grip was painfully tight, pistoning himself in and out of me. Getting a faster pace, going as deep as he could. “I watch you fade in and out.” He growled and moved one hand to my throat, careful not to squeeze too hard. “I watch how you ignore the screams around you, I watch how Ajax watches you.” My lungs were having a hard time keeping up with my heart. “I watch you and want to fuck you in those dark corners where you haunt.”

 

“Fuck!” I gasped as the first waves of an orgasm started to build up deep inside me. Malik shuddered as he ran his hands down my body and gripped my hips again. He was using his grip to pull me into him, stroke for stroke.

 

“Yes, yes...” He groaned as his breath became more erratic. “ _Vin, fantoma_!” With that, my body arched sharply and I let out a painful hiss before I cried out. My ears rang, my lungs burned as my muscles contracted around his length. My body fell limp, face laying on the table as he ruthlessly pounded me into the table. I was able to see him out of the corner of my eye, covered in a light coat of sweat and his dark eyes watching where he was pushing in and out of me. His bottom lip between his teeth and I felt my muscles contract with how sexy he looked. He liked to watch. I arched my ass up more, and his eyes snapped to mine. I licked my lips and grinned at him. Malik's eyes were blown wide and scarily black. He growled and only managed a few more strokes inside me before he yanked himself away and finished himself off, not caring as he spilled onto the cement floor.

 

The cool hair caressed my exposed skin, soothing the soreness setting in. I was still immobilized, but wasn't complaining totally. I got to watch Malik trying to catch his breath. It felt weirdly intimate. The man shakily reached for one of my cleaning rags, wiping his hands clean. He was careful to tuck himself back in and zip his pants up. His attention returned to me, and the look on his face was damn near priceless. There was a satisfied glint in his eyes, his bottom lip slightly swollen and red from where he'd bitten it so hard. With a gentler hand than what I'd expected, he wiped my upper thighs off and fixed my underwear. He smoothed them over and helped me stand up, minding my sore spots. The zipper came up and he pulled and tugged the suit until it was settled back to where it was meant to be. I sighed with relief as the blood started returning to my arms.

 

I turned around to face him, trying to fix my own pants but my hands weren't wanting to work properly yet. I couldn't find the energy to get upset, I just smiled lazily and he chuckled as he did them up for me. I wavered on my feet and tilted my head to look up as his face. Malik tilted his head and came into my space again. My ass hit the edge of the table, and he leaned into me. His right hand settled on the left side of my latex covered neck, his left hand settled on my lower back.

 

“How are you feeling?” The predator was sated, I could see it. I blinked slowly and inhaled. I nodded and was wondering if he was planning on kissing me? My curiosity was justified after the amazing way he'd just manhandled me.

 

“Pretty good.” I mumbled. He smirked and gave me a nod, before placing a gentle kiss on my temple before he pulled away. My disappointment didn't go amiss on him, but he didn't say anything to point it out. He just nodded to the door and picked up the knife he'd been twirling earlier.

 

“Go get some rest, _femeie umbră._ ” It was a polite and satiated dismissal. The darkness in me purred with a matching satisfaction as I nodded. I'm sure most women would be furious with his post-coital manners, but I wanted to sleep now. It felt like the perfect thing to do. I didn't bother casting a look to his direction as he sat back down in his chair, pulling out another blade to sharpen. But as I pulled the heavy metal door open, I heard him speak up once more. “I'll see you later, _Nyx_.” 

 

With that, I felt my lower extremities tingle and I nodded before walking out. 

 

Unfortunately, that would be the only time Malik and I would ever have sex. Matter of fact, that would be the last time I'd ever see Malik alive. 


	9. Power Play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh*  
> I got so damn mad at this chapter.   
> I've been doing that a lot lately, not satisfied with anything.  
> Hopefully this doesn't suck too much, let me know. *groan*  
> xoxox

 

I was walking to my room when I heard Angel's bedroom door open. I looked up, ready to smile and say hello to my friend before my hand froze on my door knob. Ajax was silently sneaking out, shirt thrown over his shoulder and a bright scratches down his shoulders. He hadn't seen me, and I debated diving into my room and avoiding the awkwardness that I was already weary of. When her door clicked shut, he turned and froze when he seen me. I'm sure I looked no better than him, my hair all mussed and cheeks flushed. Our eyes met and Ajax immediately slipped into his defensive cockiness.

 

“Hello Crown.” He took a moment to look me up and down, I didn't miss the way his eyes narrowed. I felt myself bristle under his scrutiny as if he had a right to be looking at me like that.

 

“Hey.” I replied coolly, taking out my key to unlock my door. I slid it in and focused on my task, ignoring him as if I caught him sneaking out of Angel's all the time.

 

“Did you get maintenance done with Malik?” He asked casually, and I felt my lips turning up into a smirk. I pushed my door open some and turned to face the Brit. He was leaning on the wall opposite of me, arms crossed and looking mighty emotional. There was a silent challenge in his eyes and I felt my body relax to spite him.

 

“Mmm, yes. We were very thorough.” I hummed back to him, feeling the left side of my body seeping into the darkness of my room. I am not the most practiced seductress, at being coy, or dropping innuendos but I was pretty proud at how his face instantly went into the neutrality he adopted when he didn't want to give himself away. The silence stretched between us and his jaw tensed.

 

“Good.” Ajax replied, before he pushed off the wall and started to walk past me. I wasn't going to stop him, but I did dare to call after him.

 

“Oh, did you and Angel get your work done?” He stopped and I could see his right arm tighten as his fist balled. He didn't turn to reply, just yanked his shirt off and began putting it on as he started walking again. I let a small snicker escape me as I shut the door and diffused myself into the darkness.

 

 

 

The next evening I was woken up with a hard kick to my bed. I jolted up and looked for the one responsible, and was slightly surprised to see Ajax. I figured he would be keeping himself busy and sending Ang to do all his bidding in regards to me like he normally did when I'd hit a nerve.

 

“Good morning, darling.” He drawled out, eyes lit up and bright. I groaned and yanked my covers back. I hissed as lingering soreness from yesterday's activities came back to me. I stood stubbornly, not bothering to feel self conscious in my sports bra and matching black hip cut panties.

 

“What is it?” I asked groggily as I went for a water in my mini fridge. I felt his eyes trailing me, but paid no mind to him.

 

“You've got a job in Libya.”

 

I stopped drinking and tilted my head, reaching my hand out for the folder I just noticed him holding. I opened it up, flipped through pages and focused on staying calm. Syria was an active war zone right now. My job was basically what it had been in Russia. Protection. But this time it was soldiers and I'd be joining a few others from the Warehouse. My eyebrow shot up, as my green eyes met Ajax's blue ones.

 

“How long? A week or two?” I closed the folder and set it down on top of the mini fridge.

 

“A few months.” He said simply, looking bored and checking his watch. My jaw dropped.

 

“A few months? Are you fucking ser-”

 

“You do as I say, remember?” He cut me off. The man looked humored as I stood there, fuming and wanting to just scream. Oh! I just want to hit him in the face! I placed my hands on my hips, purposely not wincing. His eyes trailed down and seen the fading bruises there. “I will be sending a team over to assist privately contracted individuals who can do what those attached to a government military can not.” I felt my stomach churn.

 

“You're sending me over there to kill?” I hissed, feeling my anxiety sky rocket. Ajax just nodded and shrugged.

 

“Well of course.” He shifted on his feet and gave me one of those mocking smiles that I hated. “Besides, I'm being paid a lot of money to send some specially talented individuals.” I rolled my eyes and began to angrily seethe.

 

“That country is in full blown civil war!” My voice rose and I began looking for my suit and jeans. “What the hell are we supposed to be doing over there exactly?”

 

“Whatever you're told to.” Again, as if it was obvious. I was on the edge of just slicing him to pieces, he knew damn well that I wasn't THAT kind of recruit. I didn't mind security details and being an escort, but the idea of being sent solely to kill people wasn't something I was comfortable with. I've killed before, but it was because they posed a threat to my client. I must have been eluding my inner tirade because he shook his head and crooked his finger, beckoning me to him. I actually balked at him, refusing to go near him.

 

“Fuck you, seriously.” I hissed out of anger, slipping my legs into my protective latex body suit. It made it up to my waist before Ajax grabbed me and roughly directed me into the wall beside my bed. His eyes held a quiet fury that made me instantly second guess my anger. His finger tips were biting into my upper arms and I shivered with worry. His body caged me in, clad in black and his eyes menacing.

 

“You did a fine enough job of that with Malik last night, love.” He seethed back at me, before he nodded and used one hand to painfully grip my jaw. “Oh yes, I know all about it. Security cameras always reveal the truth, huh?”

 

Shit! I hadn't thought of that. But he wasn't one to talk! He'd gotten his rocks off last night, too. Despite my fear of him, I felt that dark anger bubbling in my stomach. My eyes cut to his, and I straightened my back as much as I could from our position.

 

“I'm not the only one who bumped uglies last night, _boss_.” I managed to jerk my chin out of his hand while twisting my body to the right, swinging my left arm to knock him back. He recovered quickly and I used my powers to 'reach' inside him and grip his heart. It was a gentle coax, but he felt the stutter and his movements stopped. My voice was calm as I began to speak, loving the way his eyes settled onto mine.

 

“I'm not going to Libya. I'm not a mercenary to kill whoever you're paid the most for. I'm not that person. You have plenty of others to send.” I squeezed harder and could feel the organ in the palm of my hand as if my hand was actually in his chest. “Okay?” The energy flowing through me was almost making me drunk, but I held firm. Ajax growled at me, one hand on his chest. He wasn't in pain, but he knew something wasn't right with his heart.

 

“Fine.” He answered me, and when I was satisfied that he meant it, I let him go. My eyes stayed on him as I tugged the latex further up and I zipped the back of it up. He didn't go to leave, he just stood there seething. I didn't feel the tiniest bit guilty for wounding his pride. I owed him some hell for the scar on my stomach. I didn't acknowledge him while I put my jeans on over the latex, then socks and my boots. But when I turned to get my hair elastic, I heard quick movement. Before I could turn around or disperse my body into the shadows, something cold was around my neck and I heard a distinctive metal click.

 

My hands flew up to my neck and I felt the tight collar. It was about an inch or so thick, smooth and cool against my latex. I yanked up on it as I turned to Ajax. He looked as if he'd just won first place for something. My nose flared and I went to raise my hand to hurt him when I heard a beep. My body went rigid. My eyes widened and I whimpered as a direct current of electricity washed through me. My knees buckled and I hit the floor hard. Over and over the waves of pain rolled through me, making the cells in my body confused. I was trying to escape into my darkness and I couldn't.

 

“What did I tell you, Crown? I told you to never go back on our deal, otherwise your life would become much harder.” The Brit was gloating. I managed to be able to see his shit eating grin out of the corner of my eyes, self satisfied prick. In his hand was something that looked like a touch screen phone. His thumb hit a few buttons and my body became alive again. It felt as if someone had hijacked my body as it rose off the ground. Fear was coursing through me, I was totally under his control.

 

“This is your fault.” Ajax motioned to the collar before he touched my face tenderly. “You will wear this until you come home, maybe even after that.” He sounded like a parent who was disciplining their child. You know, the whole 'this hurts me more than it does you' speech. Except in his case, it was bullshit. “You're too beneficial not to send, and if you won't go because you refuse to honor a deal made between us...” His finger flicked the collar, a ding cutting through the momentary silence. “Then I'll _make_ you honor it.” Ajax smirked and leaned his face down closer to mine. His lips hovered next to my right ear, his breath was tickling my skin.

 

“You will do whatever I ask you to do. You are now a _thing,_ not a person.” His breath was too warm and moist, I shuddered when his hot tongue made a slow swipe at my ear lobe. “You are going to kill lots of people. You will do it without question and as efficiently as possible until I call your team back home.” I wanted to scream and fight, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't do anything, not even cry. I was totally controlled and it was terrifying. He kept pressing me in until I was back against the wall, and his mouth was latched onto my ear lobe.

 

His teeth bit down hard and I couldn't even flinch as I was almost sure he bit through it. I knew it would heal, but it hurt. Slowly, he drew back and licked at the blood on his lips. His blue eyes were predatory, he was enjoying being back in power. It reminded me of the night he broke me, and I could smell the iron all over again. My head felt light and I wanted to retch, but my body wouldn't react to my mind. Ajax's hands traveled up my sides and his hands cupped my breasts gently, almost reverently. His mouth came close to mine, I could smell my blood on his breath.

 

“I could fuck you right now, Tia. I could tear at you and make you bleed, command you to cum while I cut into you...” His body shuddered and he hissed as his nose nudged mine, his hands gripping my breasts harder. “And you would cum harder than you ever have, covered in all your gore and filth.” I felt horrified as his pelvis ground into my tender hip. He would do that, too. I know he would, the truth of it was hard against me. “But, instead I'm going to program your collar with orders and you are going to leave and get to your destination with your team. When you get home, I will make sure you don't remember anything. Then I am going to bring you up here and take you, right here, against this wall. I will fuck you and tell you of all the horrible things you did that you can't remember.”

 

I believed him. Fuck, did I believe him. My brain was swimming in the thick fog that was slowly over taking it. I tried pushing it away, feeling him letting me go and backing away. I wanted to sob as I began losing my awareness. Then he said something that would be the first thing I remembered when I woke up months later from the longest darkness I had ever felt.

 

“Nyx, you have a mission.”

 

 

 

**Abandoned Cargo Ship**

 

_**Eight Months Later** _

 

 

“ _Nyx, you have a mission_.”

 

The calm words jolted me out of the darkness of my mind. Instantly my body was alive and my arms flew up wildly, my legs kicking out. My lungs greedily filled with oxygen before a startled scream left me. My eyes watered and I was in full defensive mode, ready to fight. The last thing I remembered was Ajax...

 

“Tia...” A feminine voice called to me. My eyes darted to it's source, and I was relieved to see Angel standing across the small dark room. Her body looked on edge, and her face was tired. Her hair was shorter than when I'd last seen her, and she was armed. I let out a shaky breath, feeling my eyes water.

 

“Ang?” I asked hoarsely, and she wasted no more time before she came up to my bed and put a hand on my shoulder. I shook as I was trying to remember anything but black darkness. My body felt strange, but I couldn't point out exactly why. My eyes were darting around still, unable to recognize anything. “Where are we?”

 

The older woman sighed and started to help me up. I let my hand go to my throat, relieved to find the collar gone. It also caused a chill to run down my spine. What had I been doing?

 

“A new location, a docked out-of-service cargo ship. You've been back for a few hours. The warehouse was burnt down about seven months ago.”

 

“What happened?” I asked, genuinely curious as I accepted the bottled water from her. Angel shifted on her feet and looked at her hands which were resting on the spot beside where I was sitting on the hospital bed.

 

“A candidate blew it up.” That didn't totally surprise me, it was kind of inevitable. But what did surprise me was the giggle that rose up from my chest. Her eyes cut up to my face as it turned into a full fit of laughter. I covered my mouth, shaking my head. What the fuck?

 

“Let me guess, Ajax pissed off the wrong guy?”

 

“Something like that. He was taken care of, though.”

 

My smiled died on my face, hoping to hear about Ajax getting killed in some sort of sweet justice. This seemed to irritate Angel for some reason, because she took a few steps away from me and tossed me some clothes.

 

“Get a shower and change, meet me at the door in twenty minutes.” The woman walked out and I was just left with my confusion and this large void in my mind that I was too afraid to dig in to. I found the conjoining bathroom, grimacing at the grime build up and how the pipes groaned for a solid minute before jerkily spitting out water. I made quick work of a shower and changed into the new latex suit and black fatigue pants. The new boots on the floor beside the bed were a perfect fit and polished black leather. I braided my hair off to the side and put on the plain black cap left for me, too. I waited for a few minutes before Angel came to get me.

 

“You've been gone a long time, but we don't have time to go into too much detail. So, I'll start with the important details.” She mumbled to me as I followed quickly behind her, wondering how she navigated the hallways and remembered where to turn. “Aside from the warehouse being gone, we're having to start from the bottom up again. We've got people out trying to recruit but someone's targeting us, and we're losing more faster than we can fill the ranks.”

 

I was trying to mentally keep up with her, but my head started hurting with the lights above us. I groaned and tried to squint. She stopped and cursed to herself, before digging into her pockets to pull out a pair of sun glasses. I gratefully took them and sighed with relief.

 

“Thanks.” I mumbled back to her, following as she went on. “So, what are we supposed to be doing now?” I asked, not caring if it sounded ignorant. Angel pointed ahead of us and I seen we were coming up on an open area where various papers and maps were strung out. It looked like the meeting room back at the warehouse. Plans and weapons laying everywhere, random men and women talking and looking too serious. I didn't see any familiar faces, which partially worried me.

 

“Where Ajax?” I asked, before Angel turned to me and dropped her voice.

 

“He's traveling around, careful not to stay in one place for too long. He's got us all on stand by.” She jerked her head to the table with all the maps on it with routes marked on them. “He's got Malik and a whole unit with him right now, he had to make a delivery.”

 

The familiar name made better memories come through the void and I had to force a smile back. I wonder how Malik was doing?

 

“Tia, get with it!” Angel snapped at me, and I jumped. Her face looked almost alien with how she was looking at me right now. The usual affection she had towards me seemed gone. It made me feel very alone and self conscious. I blinked and crossed my arms.

 

“Well shit, what do you want me to do? I just woke up and you're acting like I'm supposed to know everything!” I growled at her, raising my arms up before crossing them again. Her eyes narrowed a moment before she looked away and collected her patience.

 

“I'm sorry, it's just Ajax has me stressed out.” Her dark eyes met mine, and I could tell she didn't actually feel sorry. I decided to let it go, and that I would also need to figure out what had turned her callused towards me. “We're waiting for him to get back, and then he'll let us know what's going on.”

 

“That's lovely.” I grumbled, walking towards the table and glancing over the different maps and papers. I felt everyone's eyes on me and I ignored it. Those that were closest to me took slow steps to put distance away from me. I just sighed and shook my head, deciding that if we were waiting, then I could wait alone in my room. I vaguely remembered how to get back, but even if I got lost, it'd be better than here at the moment.

 

“Where you going?” Angel asked me as I began walking out. I stopped and shrugged, giving her a tired look.

 

“I'm going back to my room to wait, there's no point in me just standing in here and doing nothing.” She wanted to disagree but I walked out before I could hear any of it. After about thirty minutes of searching, I found my room. Inside was spartan with a hospital bed to sleep on. A duffle I don't remember packing was in the floor which held all my important documents and my phone. I turned it on and seen it held a full battery. There was threads of messages and commands from Ajax I didn't recall. There were also messages from Jessica Jones, wondering why she wasn't able to get a hold of me. I groaned and was wondering how in the world I was going to explain my absence to her.

 

How long had I been gone anyways? I'd have to ask Ajax that, I knew for at least seven months by what Angel said. The idea of interacting with him made me uneasy and I was not looking forward to it. I was still angry over the last time I'd seen him. As I stood and went through my phone, a yawn pulled away from me and I set it down. I went to the bed and crawled in, letting my eyes shut as I left the glasses on in the darkness. Fuck it. Almost instantly I was asleep.

 

 

“Hello, darling.” The voice brought me out of sleep like a switch. My eyes snapped open and I turned my head towards it's origin. In the door frame, bandaged and looking more tired than usual, was the devil himself. My heart sped up and I frowned as I debated on answering him. “Have a nice nap?” He prodded on.

 

“Was going well until you woke me up.” I said tiredly back to him, not moving an inch as he pushed off the wall and came in closer to me. I felt my whole body tense and it reminded me of when I'd first met him. What little fucked up trust I used to have in him was gone. I'm sure he knows it too, because he didn't try to touch me or stand too close.

 

“I deeply apologize.” He retorted and I rolled my eyes, sitting up and dangling my legs over the side of the bed.

 

“So, get to it.” I sighed, taking my glasses off and rubbing my face.

 

“Get to what?”

 

“You know, tell me about all the horrible things I did. Tell me about how you must have gotten your ass handed to you, why we're here, why you're bandaged up...” My voice sounded bored and it trailed off when I seen his mouth purse. I expected him to at least torture my mind by refreshing me on what he'd ordered me to do on my time away, instead he shook his head and waggled his finger at me.

 

“I was going to do just that, but I don't think I will now.” He put his good arm down and dug his hand into his pocket. I narrowed my eyes at him, tilting my head.

 

“Why not?”

 

Ajax tugged out a set of dog tags and tossed them at me. I caught them and lifted the up to look at them. They smelled over sweat and iron. My thumb swiped at the raised lettering before flipping it over. My stomach knotted and my heart hurt. Malik's tags.

 

“I'm going to need a new personal escort now. So, that falls on you and Angel.” He obviously wasn't too torn up about it. I didn't know what to say at first, so I went to hand the tags back but he refused them.

 

“Keep them. I don't want them.” It felt like a slap in the face to the Romanian man's memory. I eagerly pocketed the tags though. A short pause settled between us before I cleared my throat.

 

“Why can't Angel stay close to you on her own, and I could help with security here?”

 

“Because she's not the best.”

 

“Neither am I.” I stated matter of factly, but a dark laughter left him. The man was smiling like a Cheshire cat, eyeing me with amusement.

 

“I beg a differ. If you ever get bored, Google the Red Night in Libya. That'll prove you wrong.” There was a cryptic undertone that made the hairs on my arms stand on end. A sick feeling of dread wound through me as I tried not to think about it.

 

“Whatever you want, boss.” I mumbled to him, noticing his slight surprise. “I'm tired of arguing. I just want to serve my time and go on my own way.” It was the truth, I was done with fighting and being used and controlled. I just want to be done and get back to searching for information about my father. Everything was starting to feel heavy on me, I felt as if I have strayed too far.

 

The older man sucked his lower lip into his mouth before he released it, satisfied.

 

“I need you to get ready, we're going to go looking for the fucker that did this to me.” Ajax snapped his fingers and I felt a tick in my jaw. What a fucker, like seriously.

 

I went to grab my bag and found my gun in it's holster, slipping it on quickly and taking out my contacts. Ajax didn't rush me as I placed the lenses in and took notice of my hands. They looked more scarred than I remembered, but I didn't have time to dwell on it now. I patted myself down and slipped my hands into some leather gloves which were also in my bag.

 

“What's it like outside?” I asked simply, voice flat.

 

“You'll need full coverage.” He answered, and I grunted an affirmative and tied my skull bandanna to the lower half of my face. My plain black cap would shield the upper half of my face with my contacts.

 

“You good now?” Ajax's impatience was showing and I rolled my eyes.

 

“Yeah. Do you have any idea about where you want to start looking?” I followed him out of my dark room into the hallway, noticing how people parted like water to let us through. I found it unnerving how their eyes were glued onto me, not him.

 

“I have a good idea...”

 


	10. Fade Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long!  
> Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy this update!   
> xoxox

 

 

 

Riding in the back seat with Ajax between Angel and I is probably one of the weirdest experiences I've ever had. She focused out of her window, Ajax stared dead ahead and I was on his right just looking like an idiot. I couldn't fight the urge to roll my eyes. So I did one last check on my gun, before slipping it back into it's holster. The handkerchief over my nose and mouth was aggravating, making the tip of my upper lip itch. I liked it though, was intimidating to see coming at you. I wanted to hurry up and get back to HQ, collapse on my bed then sleep. The bright sun outside made me drowsy when I wasn't moving around. I shifted and looked out of the tinted windows. Buildings rushed past, and when we took a right, my stomach tightened. We were parked outside of a building I knew well.

 

Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Girls.

 

I wanted to say something, but Ajax beat me to the punch.

 

“Welcome back, darling.” His blue eyes were hard as ice and just as cold. He maintained eye contact as he leaned over me and opened the door. “Ladies first.” I clenched my jaw and jerked my head towards the sidewalk.

 

“After you then, _darling_.” I made the last word sound overly sweet, and I smirked beneath the handkerchief. Those blue eyes narrowed, his chest puffed and he gave me one great shove and I almost fell out. I took my time righting myself and couldn't help chuckle as I stood by and started keeping my eyes peeled. Ajax hopped out and looked petulant as he snapped his fingers at us to follow him inside.

 

The door gave and our little band of misfits were walking in. The evening was getting late and the early crowd was in. I tugged my hat further down when I spotted Weasel behind the bar, mid sentence to a few guys crowded around. This place smelled the same. It looked the same. It all reminded me painfully of things in my past that I'd forced myself not to look at. We were hard not to notice, and when Weasel's eyes noticed us from behind his glasses, I avoided his eyes. Without trying to stand out, I slowly stepped mostly behind one of the larger men in our group of six. My ears were hypersensitive, or maybe that was just me.

 

I kept looking around, my palms were sweating under my gloves and I had the sudden urge to run outside. That little alarm system in my brain was going off, and my stomach was rolling. Soon, sweat was beading on the back of my neck. Then I seen it. The picture of Wade and Vanessa behind the bar and I felt my breath catch in my chest. His bright brown eyes were lit up, handsome just radiating off him. Vanessa was smiling wide, her hand cradling his jaw. Their faces were close together and they were just so fucking happy. My throat tightened, and my ears were ringing. God, I missed him so much.

 

“Where is Wade Wilson?”

 

Ajax's voice ripped me violently into an emotional whiplash. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise as I watched Angel walk around the counter and yank Weasel up off his feet before she plucked the photo off the wall. The sounds of at least a dozen guns added to the chaos in my world, but I didn't care. My eyes were glued to the back of Ajax's head. They were all talking, but I was zoning out suddenly. Fire was licking under my skin and I knew I was going to make some very bad decisions very, very soon. I don't know when I started to shake, but I felt a strong hand grab my upper arm painfully and push me towards the door. I cut my eyes sharply to see who it was, and Angel was squaring her shoulders with mine.

 

Without much care for anything, I raised my brow to her. I focused on her lungs and squeezed. Quick and sharp, her mouth twitched and she went to shove me again, but I stopped her muscles from moving.

 

“Don't.” I growled at her, our eyes glaring at each other. When I dropped my compulsion on her, I quickly walked out to catch up with Ajax. The sunlight hit me, momentarily blinding me. My eyes watered, and I blinked the tears away. I watched him standing there, door open, shit eating grin on his face. Not caring if it got me shot or killed, I charged up to him and launched myself at him. I landed a hard hay maker and reveled in the wet crunch his face made off the side of the SUV.

 

“HOW COULD YOU?” I screamed at him, bringing my knee up to his diaphragm. I heard the air rush out as he doubled over, then didn't hesitate to kick him in his face. The force of it knocked him back on his feet. He reached out and caught himself on the side mirror on the vehicle. I felt tears running down my cheeks, and I wanted to rip him apart. My hands wrapped around his throat, and I had every intention of squeezing the life from him. But he felt no pain. He felt nothing. “Why did you do it?” I hissed at him.

 

Ajax licked his bloody lips and gave a strangled laugh. I squeezed harder, not really caring for an answer. But strong arms wrapped around my midsection and my throat. I screamed again and kicked, managing to strike Ajax in his stomach again. The grip tightened and I grunted as the ribs being compressed by the vice-like grip cracked. I couldn't reach behind me, so I brought my heel down hard on their shin. It did nothing.

 

“Calm the fuck down!” Angel barked into my ear.

 

“Fuck you, Angel.” I barked back. By now Ajax was upright and trying to wipe the blood from his face. His blue eyes shone under the evening sky as he dug the picture out of his jacket, waving it to grab my attention.

 

“Easy Angel, princess is just a little shell shocked.” He sniped at us, rolling his neck before he took a step close to us. He was right in front of me, smiling down at me. “I did it because you belong to me. I wanted to have you completely. As long as he's alive or...” He made a nonchalant hand gesture. “Out there, you will always belong to him. But if he's gone...”

 

“I thought he was dead!” I hissed at him, more angry tears spilling down my cheeks. Ajax's smile morphed into a frown, fake and mocking.

 

“He's very much alive. Prick can't die.” His brows furrowed, and he brought a hand up to caress my wet face through the handkerchief. “Wade fucked up and pissed me off, burned down our warehouse while you were tearing your way through the middle east. It started out as spite, but now it's just revenge.” His face leaned in and he placed a rough kiss to my pursed mouth over the thin material. He made sure to rub his blood onto it, letting the iron invade my nose. “I'm possessive of my toys, Tia. You should know that by now.”

 

“Fuck you. I hope you burn in hell, you piece of shit!” I jerked my head away as much as I could, and felt Angel's arm around my chest tighten and ribs broke. I moaned out with discomfort, before being forced to look back into Ajax's face.

 

“You'll be right there with me, love.” He cooed, before gently patting my chin. “I can't kill him physically, but I can kill his heart. We're going to go find his _other_ whore, and I'm going to introduce her to some of my other toys.”

 

My mouth fell open slightly, before I growled at him and felt my vision going red. He was threatening to harm Vanessa. She was innocent in all this! Wade wouldn't survive if anything happened to her...

 

“You touch her and I'll kill you all Ajax.” I ground out, and he laughed. He laughed hard, momentarily gripping his stomach and shook his head as he began calming down. His eyes looked at someone behind me, before he snapped his fingers and I seen a shadow coming up from my periphery. I seen a glint, and a chill as cold as arctic water ran over me. No! The cool metal settled around my neck and the familiar clasp rang in my ears.

 

“The only person you're going to kill is the lovely queen of his heart.” Ajax said pleasantly as his pulled out the touch screen controller. His thumb slid across the screen with ease and my body went rigid at once, the pain inside me radiating through my veins like hazardous waste. He was in control once again and I couldn't move an inch. Angel's grip on me loosened before she stepped away and around to see my face. Her dark eyes watching me be so still with curiosity. Ajax slung his arm around her shoulders before he nudged her hair with his nose. His eyes kept a hold of mine though. “Besides, what's more poetic than that. It's romantic in the Grimm sense...”

 

No! I wanted to scream and beg him, don't make me do this! Wade will never forgive me! Controlled or not. Ajax hit a few more buttons and the world was dimming once again. I wanted to fight it, I tried to fight it...but darkness took me hostage and I slipped into nothingness.

 

 

 

The twisting sound of metal was the first thing I heard, my head was pounding and my heart was beating so fast. Combined with the noises around me, I was rendered motionless for a moment. I was laying face first on a hot metal surface. My mouth tasted like blood and there was a sharp pain in my chest. The grogginess in my brain was starting to clear until I heard gunshots. Suddenly my body tensed and I shook my head. A growl left me, eyes were watering when I realized my hat was missing and the handkerchief was still tied around my face.

 

I carefully pushed myself up on my arms as I blinked to let the scene before me come into focus. Fire began lighting in my stomach once again, I seen Ajax's back striding towards a very familiar face. Vanessa was laying on her side, looking slightly dazed as she screamed at someone who was laying on their side a few feet from her.

 

“GET UP YOU ASSHOLE!” She screamed as Ajax grabbed her by her head. I grunted as I began pushing myself up. Pain shot through my right leg, I looked down and noticed the bullet hole in my suit. Fuck. I ground my teeth and forced myself to my feet. I was hobbling, but I was pissed. I guess that made up for it enough. I began hobbling towards them, hand raising to literally fuck Ajax's world up. Vanessa was being jerked around and I hobbled faster. In her struggle, her eyes found me over his shoulder and terror filled her eyes.

 

My focus left her, going back onto Ajax. I focused on his throat and squeezed my hand. He didn't react at first, before his free him went around his throat. I heard him groan before he dug into his pocket. I seen the glint of the controller right as I dropped a shoulder and tackled him. Vanessa fell over and away as we rolled. I wasted no time in aiming a kick to his hand, knocking the controller out of his hand.

 

“You son of a bitch!” I growled at him before he punched me in the face. My ears rang for a second, but I rebounded and brought a knee up between us. He was trying to grapple me from the top, so I wrapped my legs around his waist and was trying to pull guard. I blocked a few more punched before I was able to upper cut him. “What did I tell you? You touch on hair on her!” I sent up another punch and his head snapped to the side. Ajax wavered for just a second before I freed one of my legs and kicked him square in the face. He was momentarily stunned, falling back and trying to regroup.

 

I rolled to my side and seen Vanessa was close tot he controller.

 

“Vanessa! Break it!” I shouted to her desperately. She look stunned, before scrambling towards it and stomping on the screen with her heel. I heard the shatter, and the collar around my neck clicked open. I ripped it from my neck with a wolfish howl and was going back for more with Ajax before someone grabbed me by the back of my uniform and yanked me back. I wanted to object, until I seen a man dressed in total red and black shake his head.

 

“Sorry, lady. This shit stain is mine.”

 

Once again, every hair on my body stood on end. That voice. I held my hand up to block the sunlight, blinking through watery eyes.

 

“Wade?” I rasped out, breathless. He halted for just a moment, his head tipping back to take a glance at me. HE didn't say anything, but his head tilted to the side. He did that when he was thinking. My heart felt as if it was going to beat out of my chest.

 

“Get her out of here!” He finally answered me. I just took a second to process the order, before I scrambled to my feet and made my way over Vanessa. She was wary of me until I reached for her hand and pulled her to her feet.

 

“C'mon, we need to get you away from here.” I tried to say with authority, and I should have known better because she shook her head. Tears were in her eyes, before she moved to watch the two men fighting behind me.

 

“I'm not leaving him!” Her voice was sure, and I wanted to growl. I didn't blame her, because I didn't want to leave either. I half turned, watching Ajax and Wade go back and forth. We didn't get long to spectate, before there was a huge explosion and the ground beneath us started tilting. I didn't have much time to assess the situation because the whine of metal grating against metal caught my attention. I turned and seen cargo containers starting to slide towards us at a rather fast pace. I grabbed Vanessa's hand and pulled her out of the path of a container.

 

“Holy shit!” I shouted, pushing and shoving us back and forth, trying to dodge sudden death. Soon, ground beneath her, which I realized we were back at HQ on the old ship, was too steep to stay on our feet. “We're going to go over the edge!” I hissed, gripping onto a partially dry rotted rope tied down to a grate. Her hand was gripping my arm for dear life, and I was trying to assess where to put her. A large container came barreling down and I barely managed to get us out of the way, but to my please, it managed hitting Ajax full force and sending him over the edge.

 

But it wasn't over yet. I felt her grip slipping and I tried to secure her, but she fell away from me. Immediately, I let go and went sliding after her. As my body picked up momentum, I seen Wade dive in and grab onto her. I managed to get a hold of one of the torture devices I remembered seeing others go into. It was the tank Ajax would throw people in to deprive them of oxygen. I swung it around and kicked it's trajectory towards Wade.

 

“Hold on baby!” I heard him tell her. “I've got you!”

 

“Wade!” I shouted, getting it to stop on a raised edge. I flipped the lid back and motioned towards the inside of it. “Get her inside!” He nodded and proceeded to tell her he had a plan. With strength I'd never seen in him, he swung her up and placed her inside. He went to close it, but her hand shot out and she grabbed me, pulling me towards her.

 

“Come on!” She begged me, and I sighed. I wasn't going to, until a large hand grabbed my other hand. My eyes snapped to his masked ones as he jerked his head towards it.

 

“Get in.” He urged, so I nodded and climbed in with Vanessa. There was a whoosh as the lid closed above us and the tube rocked before it was launched forward. Vanessa gasped as we teetered on the edge, looking hundreds of feet down at the destruction of the scrap yard. I was shaking, but I focused on breathing and I wrapped my arms around Vanessa's head.

 

“Don't look!” I whispered, feeling the chamber give and the weightless of being airborne. We both screamed as we careened towards the ground. The impact must have knocked us both out, because I don't remember what happened once we stopped falling. I just remember coming to in darkness, every cell of my body coming alive and trying to heal itself. Vanessa was below me, wheezing and shaking. I could smell her fear and her adrenaline seeping out of her pores. Her heart beat felt strong. She was alive.

 

“Are you okay?” I grunted to her, trying to adjust to take some of my weight off her. She nodded, reaching out to touch my neck.

 

“I'm good, you?” I nodded, realizing I'd lost my handkerchief. Broken glass and rubble shifted around us, the air thick with particles of god knows what. A few tense seconds passed us in silence, before she spoke again.

 

“Why did you help us?” I grunted, feeling my ribs starting to very slowly mend themselves and the hole in my leg start healing. IT would still be tomorrow before I was back to one hundred percent.

 

“Because whatever I did before I told you to break the controller, wasn't me. The collar was controlling me.” I gritted my teeth, trying to push up on whatever was pressing in on my back. “If I hurt you, I'm sorry.”

 

Vanessa shifted below me, before her hand trailed up to my face. I froze. Her hand was gentle and I could smell her blood, making my head dizzy. Her thumb touched my lower lip before she quickly retracted it.

 

“I feel like I've met you before...” I didn't know what to say to her. I didn't want to lie, she was bound to find out when we got out of here.

 

“We've met once.” I gave to her, before the mess above us whined and small streams of light began filtering in. “Thank god.” I sighed with relief. The dark glow of an even sun lit us up and I protectively covered Vanessa's face with my torso as small pieces of cement and metal fell on us. A strong hand grabbed my arm and I was hoisted up. I cringed at the light, trying to see who had me. When my eyes readjusted, I had to do a double take. There was a huge metal mother fucker and a buzz cut girl in a yellow and black suit. The man towered over me by like four feet.

 

“Are you alright?” He asked, heavy Russian accent. I nodded, staggering a few times before reaching into my pocket to search for an extra handkerchief.

 

“Lookin' for one of these?” The girl asked, offering me a solid black one. I smiled at her, taking it and wrapping it around my face.

 

“Thanks.” I mumbled, watching as Wade walked over to help Vanessa out of the hole. My ears were ringing suddenly as I watched them. I had to look away, grateful she was okay. I leaned in closer to the girl, dropping my voice.

 

“Where's Ajax?”

 

She smirked and motioned towards Wade.

 

“He shot him in the head.” I exhaled, grinning behind the partial 'mask' and nodded. Part of me was hoping to have that honor, but when I spotted his body, I realized it was okay. Once again, Wade went and killed a monster that was haunting me. Well, not for the reason of me but it was still awesome.

 

“Fucker deserved it.”

 

“Language, please.” The giant metal guy lightly scolded, and for some reason I actually felt a little bad. The girl just rolled her eyes and went back to watching the reunion between Wade and Vanessa. I felt awkward, so I stepped backwards, considering getting out of there. I got about thirty feet away before a voice called after me.

 

“Hey!” I stopped dead in my tracks, seeing Wade jogging after me. His face was covered in the mask still. I felt my stomach rolling and my nerves short circuiting. Sweat was beading on the back of my neck before he got to me. Beyond him, I seen Vanessa standing close to the metal guy and the girl. When he came to a stop, he stuck out his hand towards me. “I want to thank you for helping me get my girlfriend out of there.”

 

I took a deep breath, nodding and began to shake his hand. That familiar warmth crept in through the leather and straight into my veins. I felt my throat tightening, tears threatened to spill over. I shook it off, clearing my throat and shrugging.

 

“Was the right thing to do.” My voice was scratchy and I kept my eyes low.

 

“Well, thank fuck I had back up today. That was a shit fest.” The humorous lilt in his voice made me crack a smile, and chuckle despite myself.

 

“Yeah, need to keep a closer eye on your beautiful lady. They don't come around every day.” He nodded and chuckled too, before he got totally serious.

 

“No kidding...” He trailed off, casting a look behind him. I could tell he was thinking again, his head tilted. “I owe you. What's your name?”

 

My stomach twisted in knots, and I wanted to tell him so badly. I wanted to hug him and plant kisses all over his face and tell him how much I'd missed him. I wanted to escape with him. I wanted to make love to him... But my eyes went back to the beautiful woman standing there, a shaky smile on her face as she talked to the other two. I gritted my teeth and blinked.

 

“Is a name really important?” I asked softly, gingerly touching my leg as I shifted to accommodate the injury.

 

“I suppose not, but it's not fair you know mine and I don't know yours.”

 

My lungs squeezed as I took a step back and I motioned towards Vanessa. I've grieved enough.

 

“We've met before, I used to be a _princess_...” I emphasized the word, and tried to resist sobbing as he went so very still. The white eyes on his mask narrowed, and as if by instinct he reached for me. I shook my head once, stepping away again. “You have her, Wade. You love her, just let me go.” My voice was strained and I shook.

 

Again he reached out for me, and I stumbled backwards. I knew what I needed to do. Wade needed her. He was alive, and now he could have her. They could move on from all this and pick up where they'd left off. I wanted him to. I was always the wild card, the monkey wrench. He'd felt something for me, and we'd had our one night. I would live with that memory until I died, but that's all we'd ever be. A memory. Vanessa was his home and I was his ghost. I didn't want to rattle chains. He was alive and that's good enough for me right now.

 

“Tia?”

 

God that hurt, though. The way he whispered it, I shut my eyes and braced myself against the way it felt. It hit me like a thousand sledge hammers, and I wasn't prepared for how fast he was when he yanked the handkerchief off my face. I gasped and shuddered when I felt his eyes looking at me. My large eyes pinned to him, milky and dead looking. He answered my gasp with one of his own. I knew he wanted to ask, but it was kind of obvious.

 

We stood there, in a stare off while he inched closer to me. I shifted again, side to side, before his hand touched my chin. He tilted my chin up and shook his head.

 

“Oh, princess.” Wade sounded so sad suddenly. The nick name forced the tears out of my eyes, before I pulled away and gently grabbed my handkerchief from him.

 

“I broke.” I sniffled, securing the material around my face. “I thought you were dead.” I looked up to his face, trying to mentally shake myself. Wade tried to embrace me but I placed my hand on his chest and nodded towards Vanessa. “Go on, your lady awaits.” My voice broke and I stood a few step backwards, giving him a farewell nod. I didn't wait for him to protest or to say anything. I just started walking as fast as I could comfortably. I had to get out of here. He knew. That was more than I had wanted to let him know.

 

Now it was time to disappear. I had no idea what life was supposed to mean now. I'd have a hellacious break down later. I'd find a hole in a wall and drown myself in liquor. I wanted to be so far away from everything that I didn't even know who I was. I wanted to sink myself in darkness until that's all I knew.

 

I was after all just a ghost, a shadow and a killer.

 

I wanted to fade away with my demons.


	11. La Tortura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special shout out to Blarg and thebeastinsideusall!  
> I'm using your some of your suggestions in the next few chapters, so I'd  
> like to give credit where credit is due. <3  
> I hope everyone enjoys this chapter as much as I did writing it! I loved it this go around.   
> Let me know what y'all think! xoxo

 

 

 

A Year Later

Ensenada, Mexico

 

 

 

The AC was sputtering and whirring out semi cool air that smelled too much like something that wasn't good to breathe in. I was in bed, half covered in cotton sheets and sweat. The saltiness leaving my body was making the new tattoo on my right arm burn. It wasn't anything fancy, just a scythe on the underside of my bicep. I woke up with it yesterday morning, I guess I had gotten it while I was drunk. I was just thankful it was decent work. But either way it wouldn't have mattered, oh well. I crooned my neck up and looked over to where the cracked clock on the wall was hanging, it was after six pm.

 

Without much more thought, I rose up and pulled myself out of my sweat soaked bed. My under wear and sports bra were drenched. That's the thing about Mexico, it's so fucking hot. I padded into my small living room, stepping over notebooks and take out bags. The living room was dark, my black out curtains were doing their job. But my eyes seen everything in great detail, and my skin hummed pleasantly. I found my small coffee table and grabbed the small wooden box beside the Zippo lighter. Still half asleep, I brought them to the window. I lifted the painted wood up and cringed at the squeak it made, before I situated myself on the sill and flipped the box open.

 

I pulled the rolled joint out, happy I'd done this last night so I could wake and bake. I tossed the empty box onto the floor and lit it with my black Zippo. I tossed it aside, too. To my happy surprise, it was raining outside. The smell of rain did things to my brain I quite loved, and mix that with my herbal high and it makes for a good start to any day. It looked gray outside, overcast. My hair was all over the place and I knew I looked like shit, but three stories up I'm sure nobody could see. If they did? Fuck em. The light casting in threatened to sober me up as I slowly let smoke filter out from between my lips.

 

I must have had a bad night last night. There were newspaper articles strewn about, and I felt the sick ominous tell tale feeling that I was going to have to move again soon. On the wall above my couch was everything I could print off about the “Red Night” in Libya. It'd taken me weeks to wrap my head around what I'd managed to find online. The video footage was even worse. Over one hundred people had died that night by my hands. Most were innocent, I'd just not been in control of myself. Logically I knew that it was Ajax's fault, but their blood was on my hands.

 

I got flashes of it in my dreams sometimes, or they hit me in random moments. Either way, it fucking sucked. I'd been having panic attacks again, and when I was in Brazil a few months ago, a guy suggested I try weed to keep myself mellow. I did, and I've stuck with it. I've been trying not to stay in one place for too long, that fucking Colossus and his band of team players were adamant on trying to get me on team X. I wasn't interested whatsoever. My days of trying to be a teammate or using my abilities for anyone else was over. I'd had a few close calls, barely missing them by minutes a few times. Then at other times it was like they were taking a break.

 

It's been a while since I've gotten that feeling I was being followed or watched, so I'd come here to reconnect with the past. Of course, it hadn't done me a bit of good. If nothing else it's made me more angry and hollow. The ocean wasn't the same at night, the food didn't taste as good. This small apartment couldn't shake the smell of sweat and stale liquor. I might have developed a strong craving for liquid fire, too. It warmed the places deep inside which felt frozen all the time. It made everything blurry around the edges and just helped me forget everything for a little while. To me, that peace was priceless.

 

But right now, smoking a joint and listening to the rain, was enough. Soon enough, it was all gone and I flicked the roach out. I languidly slipped off the sill and slinked my way into the shower. I took my time, scrubbing alcohol and musk off me. When I was done, I climbed out and dried off. I slipped into a numb awareness as I got dressed. Push up bra, black lace panties, latex short black dress and my old combat boots. I put some mousse in my hair and threw on some makeup, just enough to draw attention to my eyes. The green seemed to stay closer to the milkier side these days, no matter what kind of lighting I was in. I shoved some cash in my bra and grabbed my leather jacket on my way out of the door.

 

I found myself in a place that I spent a lot of time in these days. It was just a little too big to be considered a hole in the wall, but the crowd was rough and I loved the sense of danger. Not because I was a junkie for it, but because it was familiar to live with that need of awareness. It was no surprise to get welcoming nods and grins from the other regulars, and the bartender was setting up my usual as I leaned up against the half dirty counter. He was a handsome guy, eyes blown wide from substance. He joined me for a shot of tequila and took my jacket before I headed towards the pool tables. The regulars knew not to take me on, but the tourists and such did not.

 

Tonight was no different. Five hundred on the table as I sank the eight ball in, seductively smiling at an old fat man with a cheesy floral print button up. His face was red, I could sense his blood pressure rising. I winked at him as I tucked his money in my bra and moved back to the bar. What I hadn't counted on, was the angry mob of his friends coming in an hour later to harass me into giving his money back.

 

By this time I was plenty drunk and I'd stolen a few hits off of the bartender's bowl he kept packed in his pocket. So when I felt a hand grab my shoulder and spin me around, a taller older man in my face demanding I'd unfairly sharked his friend, I just laughed. It was only serving to further piss them all off, but I couldn't help it. It tickled, the way he gripped my arm as hard as he could. I grinned and motioned for him to calm down, other people were taking notice. A few of the local guys, big brutish fellas, were preparing for a fight. I shook my head at them, still smiling.

 

“He lost it, fair and square.” I shrugged, trying to pry my arm free. The grip didn't ease up, and I felt the humor in me starting to sizzle out.

 

“Bull shit, you fucking pool shark. Give him his money back!” The man growled at me, trying to use his height to intimidate me. I felt my shoulders hit the counter top, and then my smile vanished. I tilted my head to the side and felt that dark boiling ilk in my soul starting to rise. This asshole was starting to kill my buzz.

 

“I'm not going to give the old fucker his money back, and if you don't let me go, you're going to need a colostomy bag for the rest of your life.”

 

The old man gawked before he laughed, turning to look around us. His friends chuckled, and he returned his attention back to me. His hand didn't budge, and his free one came up to playfully nudge my chin. I expected him to say something along the lines of 'oh, come on now slugger.' But he didn't go down that path at all. Instead, he firmly grabbed my jaw and he shook my face side to side.

 

“Oh, are you going to have these guys kick us out? Lemme guess, you take their money too huh? A twenty here and there for a blow job behind the dumpster?” He paused and lewdly looked me up and down, before his grip on my face released with a firm push. “I'm not scared of these assholes, I was a Ranger, sweetheart.”

 

The bar was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, but then a violent roar of laughter left me. I howled, shaking my head. I licked my lips, suddenly going very quiet as my eyes narrowed on his and I let the darkness swirl up inside me. He was an ugly skid mark on the Ranger legacy if he was being honest. There was a lot of shit sticks who claimed and played up the Ranger tab because they'd went through the school, those guys usually went back to their original unit. My father had done a tour as a Ranger before being put into wherever they'd had him before his murder.

 

“No, they wont have to touch you.” I licked my lips and tilted my head back, batting my eyes at him with an evil glint in them. “I can handle you on my own, old man. See, my father was a Ranger, taught me to not take shit from anyone.” I told him, not waiting for him to question me. I brought my free arm up and grabbed the back of his neck, then brought a knee up to hit him in his stomach. Right then all hell broke loose. His friends tried getting between us, but the big locals grabbed them and pushed them back. The old man had some scraps in him, he managed to get a hold of the front of my dress, before upper cutting me.

 

I won't lie, my brain fizzled out for a fraction of a second. I shook it off and kicked up off the counter, landing a hard superman punch on his jaw. The man staggered for only a moment before falling over unconscious. I blinked, licking the blood off my busted lip. Everyone was deathly quiet, wide eyes and wondering how a little short shit like me could have knocked a six foot plus veteran on his ass. I pushed the hair out of my face, raising an eye brow.

 

“Anyone else?” The goons who were with the cocky asshole cast looks at each other, the old man whom I had sharked looked ghost pale. I rolled my eyes and yanked the money out of my bra. I counted out one hundred and pressed it into his chest. “For the cab to get him to the emergency room, I might have broke something.” I pursed my lips up and blew him a kiss and a wink before I stepped over his friend and signaled another round to the bar.

 

Then just like that, the music came back on and everyone went back to their conversations. I sighed as I killed a few shots of tequila and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. My blood was still pumping hard and my body felt like it was plugged into a light socket. I was floating high and I didn't want to come down. I leaned onto my elbows and went to grab the third shot since the men walked out, I felt the tell tale chill of a flashback coming on.

 

“ _You've got a mission, Nyx_.”

 

It was smooth as velvet and cold as a glacier. My spine tingled and the scar on my stomach warmed with the memory of a knife being pressed into it. My muscles contracted inwards and I shivered despite the surrounding body heat and humidity. The small hairs on my arms and the back of my neck were starting to raise. My instincts were starting to warn me. Whatever it was, it was close and I was too late. The confrontation had distracted me, so I gritted my teeth and threw the shot back. My hackles were raised, and I let my eyes shift around me to study the faces. Nothing yet, and I motioned to the bartender to hand over my jacket. I pulled out the money to cover this night's tab and a healthy tip for all the trouble I've caused.

 

When I was done sliding into my jacket, adjusting it before I was about to leave, a gentle hand touched my right elbow. My back went ram rod straight. I felt the skin under my clothes tingling.

 

“Leaving so soon?” A heavy male voice asked, one I'd never heard before. I turned my head to see a rather tall and ruggedly handsome man. He was in jeans and a white muscle shirt, a sheen of sweat on his brow. His hair was neatly combed back in a particular way, and his chiseled jaw was accentuated by mutton chops. He had very masculine eye brows which made his eyes look so very serious. I inhaled to speak, and was taken off guard by how much he smelled like cigars, pine trees and earth. His dark eyes did a quick sweep of me from head to toe, before he jerked his head towards the bar stools beside us. “You should join me for a drink.”

 

I couldn't help but chuckle awkwardly, pulling my hair out from under my jacket. I wanted to go, but was also kind of curious about what kind of trouble he was. It'd been a while since I'd let someone take me home, he looked like he could realign some vertebrae easily. But I didn't want to seem too eager, that warning bell was still banging in my mind.

 

“Well, I've had enough fun for one night.” I gave him a smile, took a step back but he put a stop to that.

 

“Sit down, Tia.”

 

My eyes narrowed on him as I stopped in my tracks. I felt my hackles rising again, nose flaring and my palms itching. I could stop his heart, fill his lungs with so much air they burst, turn his brain into slush...but his face looked calm and unworried. Matter of fact, the corner of his mouth turned up and he patted the stool next to him as he sat down. I held my ground until the bartender looked at us strangely and went ahead and put down more tequila. He cracked his neck, then I decided to get a 'feel' for him. He must have felt my powers brushing up against him, as I traced the insides of his body with my invisible fingers. My brows furrowed, something felt off.

 

“It's not polite to cop a feel before a drink, sister.” That sounded so dirty, and I retracted myself from him so to speak. I pursed my mouth before I peeled my jacket back off and plopped down on the stool. I fingered the shot glass and observed him for a moment under heavy eyelids.

 

“Who are you?” I asked him, shooting back the shot and setting the glass rim down on the counter, signaling I didn't want anymore. The man threw his back, making a face before requesting a beer.

 

“Name's Logan, the professor sent me.” He angled his body to mirror mine and stuck out his hand. I shook it out of being polite. They were rough, and I felt my cheeks turning pink thinking where they'd feel good.

 

“Professor? Like, Xavier?” My voice was even as I allowed my back to slump some. Logan nodded and motioned to the bar around us. Well, looks like Colossus got smart or this Xavier guy did, sent a stranger whom I didn't know.

 

“He's adamant you come back to New York. We've gotten some tip offs that you're on a most wanted list with the head of the Weapon X program.” He fingered the label on his local beer, before swigging it back and looking happier with it than he did the tequila.

 

“Weapon X program?” I repeated, confused.

 

“Yeah, that Ajax fella Deadpool offed, was his protege. Before you and Deadpool, Ajax was his personal crown jewel.” Logan's face seemed to get tighter on his skull, before he cleared his throat and looked back at me. I was still confused. Who was Deadpool again?

 

“Ajax's mentor? I remember he'd mentioned being passed down the torch for the warehouse shortly after I was done with my initiation.” My voice was low and I knew I was too drunk and high for this conversation. “But is that what the program was really called? Weapon X?”

 

Logan nodded and scratched at his jaw, his nose scenting the air.

 

“Yeah, he's a nasty prick to get involved with. Angel's managed to give us everything she knows. Her and Rogue have been going out to locate their facilities, I'm usually with them, but Xavier said it was imperative I find you.”

 

The mention of Angel's name felt like a cold bucket of water being dumped on my buzz. My lip curled up and I had to focus on not breaking something. I had made peace with the confusion and hatred of Ajax, but Angel was still a sore wound. Logan picked up on my mood change and he sat a little straighter.

 

“So, you want me to pack up and leave my life to join the troupe because some asshole is looking for me?” I snarl at him, rising to my feet and yanking my jacket up. Logan looked around and stood too, like he was going to follow me out. Fuck that.

 

“He wants you to come to the mansion so you can be protected and among friends...” He said softer, trying to appeal to something he thought was in there. Wrong. I growled and went toe to toe with him, trying to stand to my full height. My whole five feet and four inches.

 

“I don't need any of your protection, damn it. I am just fine on my own.” My eyes were changing into full milky mode, the darkness inside me swirling like a hurricane. I jabbed my finger into his hard chest and wanted to roll my eyes with his irritation starting to come into the party. “I don't have friends, _brother_. I don't want them either. Friends have only fucked me over, ask Angel all about it.” I shot him one last look before I turned to leave, and Logan decided to come out swinging.

 

“Wade is worried about you.”

 

Without thinking, I did a perfect about face and threw a hard punch at him. Logan ducked it and grabbed my wrist, quite firmly. I stood there breathing hard and willed my signature animal like scratches across his chest. His grip tightened at the sensation of his skin cutting open, and I watched as the crimson bloomed on his white muscle shirt. But to my surprise, the skin instantly started to heal itself. Well, that's a total fucking downer. Logan gave me a dangerous look before he dug into his pocket with his free hand and slapped some money down on the counter. His grip never let up as he drug me outside. I twisted my arm and grunted when he finally let me go.

 

“I personally don't see what Xavier sees in a pathetic, self pitying, junky, lab rat like you...” Logan growled before he checked his watch and his phone. “But he asked this of me as a personal favor, and I owe him a lot.”

 

My eyes were slits as I seethed, body shaking slightly. I don't give a two shits about his insults, but mentioning Wade hurt beyond anything he could have thrown at me. It hurt worse than anything Ajax ever did to me.

 

“But, there's a mutant who can see glimpses into the future. No matter what you decide or where you go, Dr. Killebrew or someone else will catch up with you. You're going to kill a lot more people if you don't come with me.” His anger was starting to simmer down some, his eyes looking more sympathetic. I stood my ground, pride would most likely be the death of me.

 

“What do you mean?” I asked, voice harsh. I wanted to pry and ask about how in the hell he knew if Wade was actually worried about me.

 

“I don't know specifics, kid. I'm just the muscle. I said I'd bring you back and I intend on doing just that.” Instantly Logan's stance changed to more offensive and determined, I held my ground. But before he could complete a full step, I held up my hand and couldn't help myself.

 

“How do you know if Wade's worried about me?” I was skeptical, I knew it was plausible, but he's not supposed to be worried about me. He's supposed to be living the happy life with Vanessa. They were engaged right, doesn't that usually entail for a wedding and happily every after? My question made Logan's stern expression soften some, and his muscles relaxed partially. A hint of understanding passed between us which made me oddly uncomfortable.

 

“He takes odd jobs for the professor, mostly with Negasonic or another member of the team.” He informed me, before he dug out a cigar and lit it. “He uh, asks if we've made any progress in getting close to you.” Logan's eyes reflected the orange glow of the cherry on his smoke. I couldn't help but shift on my feet, my jacket hanging lazily at my side. He decided to keep going, I know he was hoping that would be the ace up his sleeve. “It's always subtle questions, or the lack of em. You see, Dead-Wade, I mean, never shuts up. He drives us insane. But every time you get brought up, he instantly shuts up. Nega and Colossus usually give me dirty looks when I bring you up just to get him to be quiet for a little while.”

 

“You're an asshole.” I say mostly to myself, and Logan nodded in agreement. So Wade's alias is Deadpool? Sounds like something he'd pick.

 

“Yeah I am.” He continued to puff away, keeping his eyes peeled on our surroundings.

 

“How's Vanessa?” I asked, and Logan's brow dipped down some. He shrugged and exhaled.

 

“Okay I guess, she doesn't get discussed much, either.”

 

Silence fell between us, we ignore the random person who'd come out of the bar or go in. The cars were loud and the ocean air felt nice. It had stopped raining a few hours ago but it still lingered in the air. Logan and I settled for eyeing each other, wary. I licked my lips and shook my head.

 

“I'm not coming back with you, Logan. I can't.” My voice was even, much less harsh than before. He looked disappointed.

 

“You're going to do bad things, don't you want to stop it before it even starts? Save innocent lives?” I knew he was the type of person who could make those black and white decisions, but I was made of gray.

 

“I'm sure some of them will deserve it.” The words sounded hollow and cold, and I felt the tequila wearing off. I needed to get out of Ensenada yesterday. I felt the night around me, and knew I was like five paces from the shadows being cast by the street light. Logan was mentally gauging my escape routes, and I knew he was good. I could sense it.

 

“Tia, I'm sorry if what I said...” I shook my head and held up my hand at his attempt at an apology, I'll admit it sounded somewhat genuine.

 

“Listen Logan, it's not you it's me.” My words were generic, and I felt the cells in my body tingling with anticipation. “But I'm not going back to New York. I've got my own back, and if you were all smart, you'd leave me alone.” I said it firmly, preparing myself to run.

 

“I can't let you do that, Tia.” His voice dropped low, and I had to fight off the shiver. God, he was one hundred percent raw male. But I kept my mind on what I intended to do.

 

“Lucky for me I don't rightly give a fuck.” I said before bolting off. I heard him almost immediately take off after me but he wasn't quick enough or prepared for me to dissolve into the darkness. I felt slightly nauseous, it'd been months since I've done this. It gave me vertigo and something I can only compare to sea sickness. I watched as he stopped abruptly, confused. His eyes narrowed and he growled. Logan was scenting the air, and I wasted no time slipping away.

 

Once I was a few blocks away, I materialized and ran to my apartment. I always kept a bag ready with all my important essentials. Passports, cash, untraceable credit cards and clothes. There was a pistol in there, too. I locked the door behind me and started grabbing up flash drives and my laptop. I put it into a backpack along with anything else I didn't want to leave behind that could fit inside. The weight wasn't an issue, I'd built up my endurance the past year. I set everything hastily by the door and ran to my kitchen sink. I opened up the cabinet and yanked out a huge container of lighter fluid. With a mad haze and gleam in my eyes, I began dousing everything. The couch, coffee table, the papers on the walls... Everything. Even my bedroom. I trailed it to the door, before casting it aside and picking up my bags. I pulled out my Zippo and crouched down to light the soaked carpet on fire.

 

Within a dozen heartbeats everything was being consumed by flames. I didn't doddle or stare, I just shut the door and ran towards the stair way. I made sure to pull the fire alarm as I rounded the last flight. When I got to the door leading to the back ally, I stuck my head out and looked around. It was clear so I bolted out and made my way towards the bus station.


End file.
